The Devil's Rejects is a movie that I had the highest of expectations for and I guess maybe they were too high. Don't get me wrong, I still love Rob Zombie's disgusting and exploitative style of horror, but the movie was very disjointed and a tad too long for my tastes. Sidenote: I'm totally in love with this wife Sheri Moon based completely on her portrayal of Baby in both this movie and the first saga House of 1,000 Corpses. The feel of the movie is all 70's right down to the sweet soundtrack, and I have to give it up to Rob for busting out so many old faces from yesteryear like Geoffrey Lewis (Juliet's Dad and Clint Eastwood's sidekick in the early 80's), Priscilla Barnes (Three's Company), Deborah Van Valkenburgh (Too Close For Comfort, the eldest daughter of Ted Knight), Ginger Lynn Allen (my favorite porn star from the 80's) and PJ Soles (Riff Randell in Rock n Roll High School). The clever casting, and the things he has these folks do, just add another demonic layer to the whole movie for a guy like me who recognized each and every one of these "cameos" if you will. Rob Zombie is a sick fuck and I love him, but maybe he should have focused more on the script and less on the cool factor? I'll give it a B-.
Hustle and Flow triumphs simply because Terrence Howard is amazing as a pimp/wannabe rapper. I'm putting this performance up there as a one of those that takes an actor from here to HERE. Like Ed Norton in Primal Fear or Kevin Spacey in Usual Suspects. People will be seeing a lot more from Terrence Howard thanks to this movie. Although I'm no fan of rap music, at least not the dirty, dirty kind illustrated throughout Hustle and Flow, I wasn't as turned off to it as I would have thought. The movie plays out like 8 Mile in that it's a rapper's struggle story. The authenticity of the pimp and ho scenes are kind of scary and the locale of North Memphis is captured in all it's gritty nastiness. The entire cast really delivers performances that feel completely real. Another concern I had going in was that I wasn't going to buy into Anthony Anderson and DJ Qualls in their rolls as producer and beat maker respectively, but I had no trouble once they committed to their characters. I'll even say that Taryn Manning put herself out there as DJay's number one whore Nola and convinced me that she was above Crossroads with Britney Spears. The film is a little predictable, but I still came away with a smile on my face and a need to listen to some Ying Yangs twins. Let's say B+.
Sunday, July 31, 2005
Saturday, July 30, 2005
Snapshots of Augusta Living
Everyone has been on me about pictures from the Southland. Well, I am happy to report that I actually busted out the camera today and took a couple of shots. I'm going to be more dedicated to traveling around with my camera and snapping shots here and there...considering it's one of the few possessions I have here, I should probably use it.
I Think It's Funny
This has made work more fun than usual. (Sarcasm dripping...)
The Anti-Defamation League has asked retailer Urban Outfitters to stop selling a T-shirt that reads:
"New Mexico, Cleaner than Regular Mexico."
I find this shirt to not only speak the truth, but to be very funny. It's all in the name of humor for fuck's sake. What happened to freedom of speech? We make the shirt, if people don't like it they won't buy it and we will get rid of it. Instead, we cater to these fucking groups that pressure us to stop selling the shirt. Ridiculous.
However, not as ridiculous as the amount of people who have called to complain about the shirt to me. Like I can do anything about it. I find myself actually smiling when people are going on and on about insensitive the shirt is. Why? Because the shirt makes me laugh. I'm sorry. It does.
The Anti-Defamation League has asked retailer Urban Outfitters to stop selling a T-shirt that reads:
"New Mexico, Cleaner than Regular Mexico."
I find this shirt to not only speak the truth, but to be very funny. It's all in the name of humor for fuck's sake. What happened to freedom of speech? We make the shirt, if people don't like it they won't buy it and we will get rid of it. Instead, we cater to these fucking groups that pressure us to stop selling the shirt. Ridiculous.
However, not as ridiculous as the amount of people who have called to complain about the shirt to me. Like I can do anything about it. I find myself actually smiling when people are going on and on about insensitive the shirt is. Why? Because the shirt makes me laugh. I'm sorry. It does.
Friday, July 29, 2005
Walk The Line - Trailer
Holy fucking HOT SHIT! Mr. Phoenix may have just eclipsed his deceased brother River as the finer actor based on his upcoming portayal of my hero Johnny Cash. The voice is dead on, he is actually singing the songs (unlike Jamie Foxx) and Reese Witherspoon doesn't seem too annoying as June Carter. I'm kind of excited about this...
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Turn of Events
So things just got interesting in the work world. I am moving over to a new position with a Mon-Fri 8 AM - 5 PM schedule as of this coming Monday. Seems like maybe I'm beginning to actually earn some respect there and might be used to my full capabilities after all. It's gonna be more work, but the people are strong on my team and I'm looking forward to the new endeavor.
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
Mid Summer Reality TV Update
Okay, Princes of Malibu is cancelled trash...but there is much more out there that should wind up off the tube and with a quickness. Two of the biggest "who gives a fuck" - fests are I Want to be a Hilton and The Cut starring Kathy Hilton and Tommy Hilfiger. These idiots should let their kids do the reality shows and they should stick to doing whatever it is they do. The whole Apprentice routine is old news, so much so that I'm sure the Martha Stewart show coming this fall is going to be a snooze fest.
I really have zero interest in watching that new dancing shit, especially after my man J, Peterman got robbed on Celebrity Ballroom last week. I'm gonna wait for Rize on DVD instead and if I want to see dancing on TV, I'll watch Soul Train and beat off to the hot sistas and asians busting a nasty groove.
A show that I thought was pathetic and kind of exploitative has turned out to be quite enjoyable actually. The whole INXS Rockstar show is a bit of a train wreck, especially considering that Michael Hutchence offed himself in such an awkward way, but I find myself tuning in and actually rooting for a couple of folks. Don't ask me what the fuck Dave Navarro knows about being a singer in a band...he's sort of a bit of a chauvinistic midget too, always calling the gals "sweetheart" and shit...but I'm not sure I understand why they even have women audition to be in INXS. I guess it's in the interest of fairness or ratings, but honestly do you think anyone other than the Black Dude (TY), the Aussie (MIG) or the Psycho from Canada (JD) has a shot? I'd fuck the hell out of Jessica Robinson, but she ain't singing in no INXS. Not in my lifetime.
Big Brother has sucked me back in as usual this summer. Fucking Kayser is the bomb. Nothing beats a ruthless Iraqi beating up on a cocky Firefighter. CBS knew exactly what they were doing with this cast, and I'm loving it. I'm down with the new alliance of 6 and honestly wouldn't mind seeing Kayser win the shit. However, it's early. Too early to tell whether this new alliance can last. But watching them turn the tables on Pappy tonight was priceless. I was actually giddy.
Final TV thought: Andy Milonakis is funny for like 10 seconds. And this little prick gets his own show? I'm way funnier than he is. Seriously.
I really have zero interest in watching that new dancing shit, especially after my man J, Peterman got robbed on Celebrity Ballroom last week. I'm gonna wait for Rize on DVD instead and if I want to see dancing on TV, I'll watch Soul Train and beat off to the hot sistas and asians busting a nasty groove.
A show that I thought was pathetic and kind of exploitative has turned out to be quite enjoyable actually. The whole INXS Rockstar show is a bit of a train wreck, especially considering that Michael Hutchence offed himself in such an awkward way, but I find myself tuning in and actually rooting for a couple of folks. Don't ask me what the fuck Dave Navarro knows about being a singer in a band...he's sort of a bit of a chauvinistic midget too, always calling the gals "sweetheart" and shit...but I'm not sure I understand why they even have women audition to be in INXS. I guess it's in the interest of fairness or ratings, but honestly do you think anyone other than the Black Dude (TY), the Aussie (MIG) or the Psycho from Canada (JD) has a shot? I'd fuck the hell out of Jessica Robinson, but she ain't singing in no INXS. Not in my lifetime.
Big Brother has sucked me back in as usual this summer. Fucking Kayser is the bomb. Nothing beats a ruthless Iraqi beating up on a cocky Firefighter. CBS knew exactly what they were doing with this cast, and I'm loving it. I'm down with the new alliance of 6 and honestly wouldn't mind seeing Kayser win the shit. However, it's early. Too early to tell whether this new alliance can last. But watching them turn the tables on Pappy tonight was priceless. I was actually giddy.
Final TV thought: Andy Milonakis is funny for like 10 seconds. And this little prick gets his own show? I'm way funnier than he is. Seriously.
Monday, July 25, 2005
Rambling Man
It's been a while since I just ranted about various shit, so here it goes...
1) Entourage is the best show on TV. Hands down. However, I thought Mandy Moore looked like shit during her cameo this week. Sorry baby...but I speak the truth.
2) Joolie and I have come up with a strategy to launching our tee shirt company. I came up with a catchy name and we are going to set about creating a buzz in Augusta by plastering stickers up with our logo. Joolie is working on some logo ideas now, but soon enough Poison Scooter will be a reality. Eventually we hope to design, produce and distribute tee shirts online and within some of the local tattoo shops around town. Yet another forray that will most likely lead to zero wealth, but a man has to have a hobby.
3) My ISight camera is up and running, but there ain't no motherfuckers online with a webcam that I know besides Brother Mike who is only online once a millenium. All you fools need to buy one so you can watch me sit in my lounge chair in underwear while I'm chatting with you.
4) Princes of Malibu was cancelled today due to low ratings. I'm embarassed that I actually Tivo'd that shit. No, I'm seriously embarassed.
5) My fantasy football league is looking like it might be an actual sucess this year. I have 12 strong and the transition to an online draft is going rather smoothly. Now if only the Eagles could promise me that TO is going to play...I have the 8th pick and Owens looks good there.
6) Augusta is full of cockroaches. I haven't had to deal with this many cockroaches since I lived with the wacky Japanese dude back in 1994. I fucking hate cockroaches. I bummed some spray shit off Joolie that she says works like a charm. We'll see. Cockroaches are fucking bullet proof.
7) I am so annoyed with myself. Yesterday I was too hung over to go see Devil's Rejects and I heard it was awesome. I am going Saturday afternoon for sure. Might even double feature with Bad News Bears.
1) Entourage is the best show on TV. Hands down. However, I thought Mandy Moore looked like shit during her cameo this week. Sorry baby...but I speak the truth.
2) Joolie and I have come up with a strategy to launching our tee shirt company. I came up with a catchy name and we are going to set about creating a buzz in Augusta by plastering stickers up with our logo. Joolie is working on some logo ideas now, but soon enough Poison Scooter will be a reality. Eventually we hope to design, produce and distribute tee shirts online and within some of the local tattoo shops around town. Yet another forray that will most likely lead to zero wealth, but a man has to have a hobby.
3) My ISight camera is up and running, but there ain't no motherfuckers online with a webcam that I know besides Brother Mike who is only online once a millenium. All you fools need to buy one so you can watch me sit in my lounge chair in underwear while I'm chatting with you.
4) Princes of Malibu was cancelled today due to low ratings. I'm embarassed that I actually Tivo'd that shit. No, I'm seriously embarassed.
5) My fantasy football league is looking like it might be an actual sucess this year. I have 12 strong and the transition to an online draft is going rather smoothly. Now if only the Eagles could promise me that TO is going to play...I have the 8th pick and Owens looks good there.
6) Augusta is full of cockroaches. I haven't had to deal with this many cockroaches since I lived with the wacky Japanese dude back in 1994. I fucking hate cockroaches. I bummed some spray shit off Joolie that she says works like a charm. We'll see. Cockroaches are fucking bullet proof.
7) I am so annoyed with myself. Yesterday I was too hung over to go see Devil's Rejects and I heard it was awesome. I am going Saturday afternoon for sure. Might even double feature with Bad News Bears.
Sunday, July 24, 2005
Glimmer of Hope
Last night was really the first night I let loose in my new hometown and enjoyed myself. I'm mega hungover as a result, but I'll survive. Augusta is basically a small city compared to Philly, the entire downtown area encompasses about 12 city blocks. Downtown is where the magic happens on the weekends, all the bars are within walking distance of each other and lucky for me, I live only 2 blocks off the stretch. Until last night however, I didn't take advantage of my location and hadn't really spent much time at any of the local watering holes. What drew me out last night was the promise of a Weezer tribute band called El Scorcho playing at a place called Soulbar. Considering my love for Weezer, I figured that even if they were cheesy or pathetic, at least I know that I like the songs. Anyhow, I'm pleased to report that these guys were EXCELLENT. The only guy who really resembles a member of Weezer is the Rivers Cuomo guy and he looks just like him....which is borderline frightening to me. Did he make himself look like Rivers or did he already and decide to capitalize on that? Either scenario is just plain odd to me. But getting back to the music, these guys come out and do the Blue album straight through from beginning to end in the order of the CD. The place was packed, everyone was eating it up, there was even slow dancing during the softer songs...a great time was had by all. Syd and I even slow danced like high schoolers during Say It Ain't So, all spread apart and shit. It was fun as hell to just let loose and get drunk and fucking enjoy myself for once.
Sidenote: I'm not sure if hanging out with a group of really hot girls is a help or a hindrance yet. Sydney, Lindsey and Joolie attract a lot of attention from the guys down here and that kind of puts me this awkward position since I'm platonically hanging out with the girls all the guys want to fuck. Most of the guys seem to envy my relationship with them, so it's not that bad. I'm just wondering if I'm going to be able to find a nice girl for myself if I'm always hanging out with a bunch of cute girls. I was realizing last night after about 8 Stella Artois that I think what I miss most about home is the male camaraderie. I don't have any guy friends down here and I'm not sure I'm going to bond with the guys who I meet that are focused on banging my female friends.
Sidenote: I'm not sure if hanging out with a group of really hot girls is a help or a hindrance yet. Sydney, Lindsey and Joolie attract a lot of attention from the guys down here and that kind of puts me this awkward position since I'm platonically hanging out with the girls all the guys want to fuck. Most of the guys seem to envy my relationship with them, so it's not that bad. I'm just wondering if I'm going to be able to find a nice girl for myself if I'm always hanging out with a bunch of cute girls. I was realizing last night after about 8 Stella Artois that I think what I miss most about home is the male camaraderie. I don't have any guy friends down here and I'm not sure I'm going to bond with the guys who I meet that are focused on banging my female friends.
Saturday, July 23, 2005
Man Crush
I am going to admit something today that may shock you. I love Vince Vaughn. There I said it. I don't know what it is about him, but I think he is just incredibly likeable. Sometimes I dream that I'm in his circle of friends and we hang out and joke and drink and cruise chicks. And the Wilson brothers are there and so is Will Ferrell. And Ben Stiller will occasionally pop in to quietly observe us all while holding hands with Christine. Usually in these dreams at some point Vince will pull me aside and say something sincere to me like "you are the best" or "you are the funniest guy in the room" and I get a sleep smile as wide as an ocean. I'm not sure that my feelings demonstrate that I'm gay, but I do know that my feelings for Vince are not sexual. I love him like I love a really good movie or a great song.
Wedding Crashers wasn't superb, but it was bawdy and laugh out loud funny. Exactly what I needed today to ease my mind and allow some of the bad energy from work to disappear. Vince's impeccable delivery and style always make the dumb comedy seem that much funnier. I can see myself quoting from this film just like Old School or Napoleon Dynamite, the lines are just that priceless. If you want a good laugh, go check it out.
Wedding Crashers wasn't superb, but it was bawdy and laugh out loud funny. Exactly what I needed today to ease my mind and allow some of the bad energy from work to disappear. Vince's impeccable delivery and style always make the dumb comedy seem that much funnier. I can see myself quoting from this film just like Old School or Napoleon Dynamite, the lines are just that priceless. If you want a good laugh, go check it out.
Friday, July 22, 2005
Not Dead Yet
So my consultation with the new dentist was brief and painless yesterday morning. Essentially I broke a tooth that had a root canal and a crown put over it and now I need surgery to remove the broken "stub" of the tooth from my mouth. Then I'll need a Bridge put in since the tooth in question is a lower right molar and is needed to chew food. Awesome. I'm guessing this will run me in the thousands with my superior dental coverage from work. Yee-haw!!! The silver lining is that there is no rush since the tooth had root canal done, there is no pain and it can stay in my mouth broken for as long as I like. Like the people at work say..."see, you are starting to fit in down here."
Missing teeth. Get it? Fucking hillbilly humor is incredible.
So I finally got my ass to Comp USA to buy another "back up" external hard drive for all my photos and mp3s, but the original Lacie is not working again on my computer. So I may now own 2 external hard drives with nothing on either. I've been trying the same shit that worked last time, unplugging everything and seeing if my computer will jumpstart the Lacie, but so far no luck.
I got into a shouting match with the movers yesterday at work and called them out for being liars and scam artists. Again, the folks I work with that are oh so nice, informed me that now I'll never see my stuff again. They have convinced me that I've provoked the movers into now intentionally dragging their feet, although the guy I yelled out promised me that my shit was going to be on a truck Monday headed this way. Since I have no choice in the matter, I guess we'll just have to wait and see.
My washer has arrived and now I have in apartment laundry facilities. Yeah! I can't wait to do wash this weekend. Pathetic.
Today is my 10th day at work in the last 11 days and I cannot wait to be off this weekend. Even if I sit around my empty apartment and mope, it's better than being there. I do have plans to see a Weezer cover band around the corner called El Scorcho Saturday night that I'm looking forward to. But that's over 24 hours away and a lot can happen in 24 hours.
Missing teeth. Get it? Fucking hillbilly humor is incredible.
So I finally got my ass to Comp USA to buy another "back up" external hard drive for all my photos and mp3s, but the original Lacie is not working again on my computer. So I may now own 2 external hard drives with nothing on either. I've been trying the same shit that worked last time, unplugging everything and seeing if my computer will jumpstart the Lacie, but so far no luck.
I got into a shouting match with the movers yesterday at work and called them out for being liars and scam artists. Again, the folks I work with that are oh so nice, informed me that now I'll never see my stuff again. They have convinced me that I've provoked the movers into now intentionally dragging their feet, although the guy I yelled out promised me that my shit was going to be on a truck Monday headed this way. Since I have no choice in the matter, I guess we'll just have to wait and see.
My washer has arrived and now I have in apartment laundry facilities. Yeah! I can't wait to do wash this weekend. Pathetic.
Today is my 10th day at work in the last 11 days and I cannot wait to be off this weekend. Even if I sit around my empty apartment and mope, it's better than being there. I do have plans to see a Weezer cover band around the corner called El Scorcho Saturday night that I'm looking forward to. But that's over 24 hours away and a lot can happen in 24 hours.
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
Shit Parade
Recap of today:
Wake up early.
Decide to go to Best Buy since I have 2 hours to kill before work.
See flat tire on car in parking lot of my apartment.
Change flat tire in 100 degree temps.
Sweat through shirt.
Get tire fixed for free at Firestone around the corner. (Some things in the South are cool.)
Make it to work just on time.
No Best Buy.
Liquid diet still in effect considering missing tooth situation.
Hear from pyscho punker chick who informs me she is running away to Atlanta.
Cut loose punked chick who is too unstable for me to deal with right now.
Actually accomplish some shit at work that makes me feel the slightest bit better about my life.
Drive over to Joolie's after work to lift up her TV from the ground and put it on a stand.
Come home to empty apartment and consider suicide.
That brings us to now...
Wake up early.
Decide to go to Best Buy since I have 2 hours to kill before work.
See flat tire on car in parking lot of my apartment.
Change flat tire in 100 degree temps.
Sweat through shirt.
Get tire fixed for free at Firestone around the corner. (Some things in the South are cool.)
Make it to work just on time.
No Best Buy.
Liquid diet still in effect considering missing tooth situation.
Hear from pyscho punker chick who informs me she is running away to Atlanta.
Cut loose punked chick who is too unstable for me to deal with right now.
Actually accomplish some shit at work that makes me feel the slightest bit better about my life.
Drive over to Joolie's after work to lift up her TV from the ground and put it on a stand.
Come home to empty apartment and consider suicide.
That brings us to now...
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
This movie sucked.
Give me Gene Wilder, delightful songs, green Oompa Loompas and 70's technology. Johnny Depp is an amazing actor, but he just isn't able to pull of anything more than a sad impression of Michael Jackson in this film. And why do movies nowadays always have to go the CGI route and do cartoony looking shit? I was so pumped to see this movie and wanted it to be good, but it's just kind of crappy.
Give me Gene Wilder, delightful songs, green Oompa Loompas and 70's technology. Johnny Depp is an amazing actor, but he just isn't able to pull of anything more than a sad impression of Michael Jackson in this film. And why do movies nowadays always have to go the CGI route and do cartoony looking shit? I was so pumped to see this movie and wanted it to be good, but it's just kind of crappy.
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
Dethroned
I have been really suffering physically lately down here in GA. I'm dropping weight really quickly, but it's more to do with stress than an actual regime. I'm not eating a lot, and I'm constantly on the go here. I've had headaches, diarrhea all the time, my anxiety keeps cropping up....I'm basically a mess. And then tonight while I'm biting into a fucking cookie, a fucking crown in my mouth comes out. What a nightmare. Now I have this gaping, and disgusting, hole in my mouth and I am now going to have to add to my list of worries a fucking dental emergency.
This week has blown and it's Monday night, er Tuesday morning. I have a plumber coming, the cable guy coming back out to see what the deal with me always losing my connection and now I have to arrange for a dentist visit. And oh yeah, I have to work every day until this weekend. And oh yeah, my stuff is no closer to arriving and now my so-called gal pal had her cell phone cut off, so I have no clue if she is alive or dead.
I'm living the dream.
This week has blown and it's Monday night, er Tuesday morning. I have a plumber coming, the cable guy coming back out to see what the deal with me always losing my connection and now I have to arrange for a dentist visit. And oh yeah, I have to work every day until this weekend. And oh yeah, my stuff is no closer to arriving and now my so-called gal pal had her cell phone cut off, so I have no clue if she is alive or dead.
I'm living the dream.
Saturday, July 16, 2005
Yahoo's Word of the Day
chaos
DEFINITION: (noun) disorder, confusion, chance
EXAMPLE: The first few moments after the explosion were pure chaos: no one was sure what had happened, and the area was filled with people running and yelling.
SYNONYMS: bedlam, disarray, pandemonium
This about sums up my job. Well, until today. I'm closing tonight and it's been relatively painless. Maybe the staff is coming around and starting to get it? What ever it is, I'm happy to see it.
DEFINITION: (noun) disorder, confusion, chance
EXAMPLE: The first few moments after the explosion were pure chaos: no one was sure what had happened, and the area was filled with people running and yelling.
SYNONYMS: bedlam, disarray, pandemonium
This about sums up my job. Well, until today. I'm closing tonight and it's been relatively painless. Maybe the staff is coming around and starting to get it? What ever it is, I'm happy to see it.
Define...Girlfriend.
Considering the past week's events related to my personal life I have been trying to determine if in fact I have a girlfriend or not. This may seem like a simple question, but I'm not so sure about my status at this point. I've put together a list of indicators that make me think I do have one and then some that make me think I don't. Have a look.
I have a girlfriend because...
...when I get out of work and I'm driving home, she calls me right on schedule. Like every night.
...that last few nights this call has lead into a "come over" situation that I have complied with.
...when we are at her friend's house hanging out we practically sit on top of each other and are slightly and pathetically lovey dovey at times.
I'm not sure I have a girlfriend because...
...she doesn't want to come over my house to hang out. I assume since she may feel that will lead to sex, even though with my 12 year old like prowess, that is highly unlikely.
...she sometimes doesn't say much in my presence to reveal what she is truly all about. The mystery woman thing is kind of hot, but at the same time it's giving her the upper hand.
...sometimes when we part she says things like "I don't want to hurt you" and "please wait for me", the latter of which is related to her trying to get her shit together before moving into something with me full steam. Maybe this belongs in the list above, but something doesn't seem right about these little asides which concerns me.
I'm not really sure what the hell is going on or where this is going to lead, but I am honestly glad that I have someone that I can unwind with and watch Hedwig and the Angry Inch. Work is sucking my soul out of me and I always feel ill when I'm there. Last night my gums were bleeding and I know my hair is falling out and I had intense bouts of diarrhea all because I am miserable at work. Stressed isn't even a strong enough word to describe what I am right now. But I do know that when I'm around her I feel a little bit better and that's okay for now.
I have a girlfriend because...
...when I get out of work and I'm driving home, she calls me right on schedule. Like every night.
...that last few nights this call has lead into a "come over" situation that I have complied with.
...when we are at her friend's house hanging out we practically sit on top of each other and are slightly and pathetically lovey dovey at times.
I'm not sure I have a girlfriend because...
...she doesn't want to come over my house to hang out. I assume since she may feel that will lead to sex, even though with my 12 year old like prowess, that is highly unlikely.
...she sometimes doesn't say much in my presence to reveal what she is truly all about. The mystery woman thing is kind of hot, but at the same time it's giving her the upper hand.
...sometimes when we part she says things like "I don't want to hurt you" and "please wait for me", the latter of which is related to her trying to get her shit together before moving into something with me full steam. Maybe this belongs in the list above, but something doesn't seem right about these little asides which concerns me.
I'm not really sure what the hell is going on or where this is going to lead, but I am honestly glad that I have someone that I can unwind with and watch Hedwig and the Angry Inch. Work is sucking my soul out of me and I always feel ill when I'm there. Last night my gums were bleeding and I know my hair is falling out and I had intense bouts of diarrhea all because I am miserable at work. Stressed isn't even a strong enough word to describe what I am right now. But I do know that when I'm around her I feel a little bit better and that's okay for now.
Thursday, July 14, 2005
Where is my shit? No really, where is it?
Still no word from the movers about the whereabouts of my entire life. I'm sick of lunchmeat and using plastic silverware. I'm sick of not having a desk and desk chair. I'm sick of watching my flat screen that is propped up on a cardboard box. I want my shit to be here already.
On the plus side, obsessing over my shit not arriving takes away from constantly thinking about how shitty my job is right now. It's seriously like working in a MASH unit or an ER. I'm busy from the minute I arrive until the minute I step outside at 10 PM. If I actually leave there on time that is. And today was just the best. Our building is located in Tornado alley and apparently one was touching down about 3 miles from the place today. We had power outages all day long. Fucking nightmare.
I was so pissed about work that on the way home I called "the girl" to see how she was doing? I guess I was really just calling to see if she was on the junk and I'm happy to say she seemed just fine to me. But I'm a horrible judge of character...just look at my friends. Kidding. Anyway, we talked about getting together on Sunday. I really want to see some boobies again. I'm shallow. I know. Sorry.
On the plus side, obsessing over my shit not arriving takes away from constantly thinking about how shitty my job is right now. It's seriously like working in a MASH unit or an ER. I'm busy from the minute I arrive until the minute I step outside at 10 PM. If I actually leave there on time that is. And today was just the best. Our building is located in Tornado alley and apparently one was touching down about 3 miles from the place today. We had power outages all day long. Fucking nightmare.
I was so pissed about work that on the way home I called "the girl" to see how she was doing? I guess I was really just calling to see if she was on the junk and I'm happy to say she seemed just fine to me. But I'm a horrible judge of character...just look at my friends. Kidding. Anyway, we talked about getting together on Sunday. I really want to see some boobies again. I'm shallow. I know. Sorry.
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
Junkie Love
I may be swapping spit with a junkie. Awesome.
A girl who works for me has a baby with the step-brother of my precious and she heard the word that I was messing around with her and decided to warn me. I'm like 2 weeks out from appearing on Springer, aren't I?
For safety purposes, I am pulling the plug on this pseudo relationship. Something is just not right. Either she is an addict and wants to steal my shit or she is upset with her boyfriend and is kissing up on me to make him mad. It's gotta be one or the other...chicks just don't dig me.
It was fun. A lot of fun. Fuck.
A girl who works for me has a baby with the step-brother of my precious and she heard the word that I was messing around with her and decided to warn me. I'm like 2 weeks out from appearing on Springer, aren't I?
For safety purposes, I am pulling the plug on this pseudo relationship. Something is just not right. Either she is an addict and wants to steal my shit or she is upset with her boyfriend and is kissing up on me to make him mad. It's gotta be one or the other...chicks just don't dig me.
It was fun. A lot of fun. Fuck.
Monday, July 11, 2005
Disaster Averted
Big ups to Brother Mike who figured out how to dial a phone and gave me the information necessary to fix my hard drive issues. Ironically enough, unplugging things and waiting five minutes was the "technical support" I was in need of getting. Speaking of disasters, the new Surreal Life and the Austin Real World are both out of control.
Musical Meltdown
Something really horrible has happened to me. I was tugging at my MAC, trying to inch it closer to the outdoor lounge chair that I'm currently using as a desk chair, and my external hard drive fell off the window sill. I guess the Porche design Lacie employed didn't prevent it from knocking something loose in it because it ain't working when I plug it in. What does this mean?
Well, I have 7000 songs on it and pretty much every picture I've ever snapped and all my passwords for websites. Pretty much my entire fucking life is in this little box. The one guy I know can help me isn't calling me back and I'm freaking out. Lacie's website was useless and the original box for the item, which I have, doesn't have a manual or anything. Ahhhhhhh!
Without my Itunes, I'm totally fucked. Down here there is one alternative rock station and that's about all I can stomach on the radio. Thankfully this alt-rock station doesn't have any DJ's, so it's pretty much non-stop music. The downside is that apparently Alice and Chains are sitll thriving as a current band in Augusta. And that My Chemical Romance track is on repeat all fucking day long. So much so that I'm certain I know all the words to it just by happenstance.
Someone send help.
Well, I have 7000 songs on it and pretty much every picture I've ever snapped and all my passwords for websites. Pretty much my entire fucking life is in this little box. The one guy I know can help me isn't calling me back and I'm freaking out. Lacie's website was useless and the original box for the item, which I have, doesn't have a manual or anything. Ahhhhhhh!
Without my Itunes, I'm totally fucked. Down here there is one alternative rock station and that's about all I can stomach on the radio. Thankfully this alt-rock station doesn't have any DJ's, so it's pretty much non-stop music. The downside is that apparently Alice and Chains are sitll thriving as a current band in Augusta. And that My Chemical Romance track is on repeat all fucking day long. So much so that I'm certain I know all the words to it just by happenstance.
Someone send help.
Sunday, July 10, 2005
Maybe I Will Make It Down Here?
I think I might have figured out what Darwin was on about with this Evolution ramblings. I've been thrust into this new world and forced to either survive or die and I'm choosing to survive. The Philadelphia verison of myself would always hide amongst the safety of the pack and not really make bold moves, but down here if I don't step up my game I'm going to spend a lot of time alone in my big apartment drinking. So...
I really hit it off with this girl that I met a few weeks ago when I was down here to help with training the new staff. She's a punk rocker chick, piercings and an attitude included, and all of 19 years old. Now I know what you are thinking, Skip's just looking for trouble, but let me tell you a 19 year old in the South with no husband or kid is a miracle. The girls are fucking at 14 and divorcing at 18, so it's not as crazy as you think for me to be into this young thang. Although I will admit that I do have a proclivity for the youngsters that is well documented.
In any case, the old Yankee Skip would most likely oggle this girl while at work and do nothing about it except always consider "what if" scenarios in his head while at work, or in bed at night. Some of that has to do with the fear of romancing someone in the work place, especailly given my position and the other part is fear of rejection, of which I'm a brown belt at. Lucky for me that girl in question decided to quit the job after 4 full days of work and is no longer "off limits" as such.
Again, the old Skip would have probably just let her move on with her life and move onto another girl to crush on from afar. The Southland verison of Skip is completely different. The new Skip is fearless and clawing to survive in this crazy place and he is the guy who immediately saw an opportunity to pursue a girl that is 100% desirable and possibly even attainable. From what I have been able to figure out about the South, things like wife beating and being unfaithful are common place. A yankee like me that has a heart of gold is an asset, even despite my physical shortcomings. I speculated that this would be the case when I was coming down here on visits, but now I can confirm that it's the real deal.
When the word came down that my little punk rock baby quit the job, I immediatley called her and said that I wanted to hang out with her regardless of her work status with my company. I told her the truth and that is I don't know many people here and I don't want to lose contact with the one person I do know and like. What shocked me the most was that her response was "what took you so long to call me" and not "you are kind of creepy". We made some tentative plans for Saturday, of which I mentioned previous to this post, but when the time came for me to step it up I freaked out. Some things about the old Skip are still pushing through....like being scared shitless of being in an uncomfortable situation. My new friend called me at 6 PM to come over her apartment and drink with her and some "friends". From the sound of it, these friends were all male in sex and I wasn't looking to put myself into a spot like that before I really had a chance to know her better. So I blew her off.
Looking back on it, I am guessing that was where I went right. Again, the old Skip probably would have went over to the place, had a panic attack and split early or would have quickly become a center of ridicule by all participants (including the object of my desire). I decided that if she really wants to hang with me, then I'll wait for a better time. One when she and I can get together just to talk. Instead I just stayed in and drank some beer alone wondering if I was making the right move blowing off this one and only new friend I had in town. Thankfully at 11 PM the phone rang and the voice on the other side said in a drunken slur "can I come over to your place and get away from these people?"
Hell yeah! Fast forward a couple hours of talk and flirting and next thing you know I'm making out on my couch (the one I built from scratch earlier in the day) unitl the wee hours of the morning like a high schooler. Naturally I didn't make the first move, since I'm incapable of doing so, but I was quick to participate once the action picked up. I can't beleive my luck. I'm here for a week and I found a girl who doesn't mind making out with me? Will wonders never cease? So anyway, maybe I will make it down here afterall?
I really hit it off with this girl that I met a few weeks ago when I was down here to help with training the new staff. She's a punk rocker chick, piercings and an attitude included, and all of 19 years old. Now I know what you are thinking, Skip's just looking for trouble, but let me tell you a 19 year old in the South with no husband or kid is a miracle. The girls are fucking at 14 and divorcing at 18, so it's not as crazy as you think for me to be into this young thang. Although I will admit that I do have a proclivity for the youngsters that is well documented.
In any case, the old Yankee Skip would most likely oggle this girl while at work and do nothing about it except always consider "what if" scenarios in his head while at work, or in bed at night. Some of that has to do with the fear of romancing someone in the work place, especailly given my position and the other part is fear of rejection, of which I'm a brown belt at. Lucky for me that girl in question decided to quit the job after 4 full days of work and is no longer "off limits" as such.
Again, the old Skip would have probably just let her move on with her life and move onto another girl to crush on from afar. The Southland verison of Skip is completely different. The new Skip is fearless and clawing to survive in this crazy place and he is the guy who immediately saw an opportunity to pursue a girl that is 100% desirable and possibly even attainable. From what I have been able to figure out about the South, things like wife beating and being unfaithful are common place. A yankee like me that has a heart of gold is an asset, even despite my physical shortcomings. I speculated that this would be the case when I was coming down here on visits, but now I can confirm that it's the real deal.
When the word came down that my little punk rock baby quit the job, I immediatley called her and said that I wanted to hang out with her regardless of her work status with my company. I told her the truth and that is I don't know many people here and I don't want to lose contact with the one person I do know and like. What shocked me the most was that her response was "what took you so long to call me" and not "you are kind of creepy". We made some tentative plans for Saturday, of which I mentioned previous to this post, but when the time came for me to step it up I freaked out. Some things about the old Skip are still pushing through....like being scared shitless of being in an uncomfortable situation. My new friend called me at 6 PM to come over her apartment and drink with her and some "friends". From the sound of it, these friends were all male in sex and I wasn't looking to put myself into a spot like that before I really had a chance to know her better. So I blew her off.
Looking back on it, I am guessing that was where I went right. Again, the old Skip probably would have went over to the place, had a panic attack and split early or would have quickly become a center of ridicule by all participants (including the object of my desire). I decided that if she really wants to hang with me, then I'll wait for a better time. One when she and I can get together just to talk. Instead I just stayed in and drank some beer alone wondering if I was making the right move blowing off this one and only new friend I had in town. Thankfully at 11 PM the phone rang and the voice on the other side said in a drunken slur "can I come over to your place and get away from these people?"
Hell yeah! Fast forward a couple hours of talk and flirting and next thing you know I'm making out on my couch (the one I built from scratch earlier in the day) unitl the wee hours of the morning like a high schooler. Naturally I didn't make the first move, since I'm incapable of doing so, but I was quick to participate once the action picked up. I can't beleive my luck. I'm here for a week and I found a girl who doesn't mind making out with me? Will wonders never cease? So anyway, maybe I will make it down here afterall?
Saturday, July 09, 2005
Week One: The Highlights/Lowlights
I'm back online for real now, so let's discuss my first full week as a resident of Georgia.
My apartment is very spacious and I like that. I live in a big old mansion that has been converted into a bunch of apartments. I've met most of the residents and for the most part I'm surrounded by military guys. John is the gay Navy Arabic translator who works nights, Andrew is the 21 year old drunk in the Navy, then there is mystery Navy guy who splits town on the weekends to visit his family somewhere not in Georgia. The chick next door is MIA thus far, probably home for the summer since she is in college. The guy upstairs is older and moved in a couple days after me, goes by the name Matt and has Florida plates...not real sure about his deal. John went to Temple Bucks and lived in PenDel, so we clicked right away. In fact my very first night I was on the roof of the building next door drinking beers and lighting fireworks with both John and Andrew. Our schedules don't line up very often, but when we are here in the house/apartment building everyone is kind of social.
I've spent a lot of time here shopping for shit. Target and Walmart are like my only friends. And oh, the movie theater has seen some of me lately as well. (War of the Worlds was good, Mr. and Mrs. Smith was too long) But getting back to shopping, I'm realizing that I should have probably just rented a Uhaul and drove my shit here since my movers seem in no rush to actually deliver my possessions to me. Last check I received a very luke warm "possibly Wednesday" from the guy in charge. I've been purchasing little things here and there to get me by...and the amount of little shit that you realize you need really can add up. I also went a tad crazy at Best Buy on Sunday last and grabbed a flat screen HDTV for a grand. I'm considering it a moving away present to myself. I'm propping it up on a cardboard box at the moment, so it doesn't seem all that flashy...but just wait until I get this place up to snuff....PIMPING is gonna be the word du jour my friends. To make it without cable I've been plowing through Season One of Scrubs, a show I never watched once and apparently really like a lot. And I also bought Monty Python and the Holy Grail to occupy my free time.
Which brings me to my next point...this week sucked. Flipping the switch on Tuesday to an entirely green staff was a big mistake for my company. I've been working crazy hours, no lunches and I'm on my feet all fucking day long answering the same questions over and over again. The staff are slightly less educated and it is completely apparent to our customers. Instead of the usual escalated calls from customers to complain about not getting their order in a timely fashion, I'm now having to listen to women tell me that they think they just spoke with a retarded person. The sad reality is that I'm not sure that she didn't just speak to a retarded person. Everyone is either lazy or obnoxious or chock full of drama that it's pissing me off. In fact the few people that I would consider smart or kind of cool have already walked off the job this week. I'm basically running around all day that I haven't really had a chance to reflect on the whole mess, but I can say this...I'm not going to be friends with my staff like I was in Philly. I will basically be a teacher, grading and taking roll each day and failing the dummies. I was hoping to maybe find a couple folks to befriend at work, but that is looking slim...and without friends here, I'm not sure what I'm going to do.
I'm about to have a 3 day weekend, one that thankfully contains cable and internet, a bed, blinds and a sofa that needs to be constructed in the morning. I have a shitload of wash to do and need to locate a laundry mat which should keep me busy. I'm also planning on seeing Land of the Dead with Joolie on Sunday. Joolie appears to be making the best of the move and has met some people that she is hanging out with pretty much every night. Sometimes I wish I was more trusting of people I don't know or more outgoing like she is. I don't want to wind up always tagging along with her to shit like her mongoloid brother or something. The one person I did meet at work that I planned to hang with quit today before I even got in. Although she rolled, she has my cell number and says she is gonna call me to hang out this weekend...but I'm not banking on it. If she does call, I'm sure you will hear all about it.
My apartment is very spacious and I like that. I live in a big old mansion that has been converted into a bunch of apartments. I've met most of the residents and for the most part I'm surrounded by military guys. John is the gay Navy Arabic translator who works nights, Andrew is the 21 year old drunk in the Navy, then there is mystery Navy guy who splits town on the weekends to visit his family somewhere not in Georgia. The chick next door is MIA thus far, probably home for the summer since she is in college. The guy upstairs is older and moved in a couple days after me, goes by the name Matt and has Florida plates...not real sure about his deal. John went to Temple Bucks and lived in PenDel, so we clicked right away. In fact my very first night I was on the roof of the building next door drinking beers and lighting fireworks with both John and Andrew. Our schedules don't line up very often, but when we are here in the house/apartment building everyone is kind of social.
I've spent a lot of time here shopping for shit. Target and Walmart are like my only friends. And oh, the movie theater has seen some of me lately as well. (War of the Worlds was good, Mr. and Mrs. Smith was too long) But getting back to shopping, I'm realizing that I should have probably just rented a Uhaul and drove my shit here since my movers seem in no rush to actually deliver my possessions to me. Last check I received a very luke warm "possibly Wednesday" from the guy in charge. I've been purchasing little things here and there to get me by...and the amount of little shit that you realize you need really can add up. I also went a tad crazy at Best Buy on Sunday last and grabbed a flat screen HDTV for a grand. I'm considering it a moving away present to myself. I'm propping it up on a cardboard box at the moment, so it doesn't seem all that flashy...but just wait until I get this place up to snuff....PIMPING is gonna be the word du jour my friends. To make it without cable I've been plowing through Season One of Scrubs, a show I never watched once and apparently really like a lot. And I also bought Monty Python and the Holy Grail to occupy my free time.
Which brings me to my next point...this week sucked. Flipping the switch on Tuesday to an entirely green staff was a big mistake for my company. I've been working crazy hours, no lunches and I'm on my feet all fucking day long answering the same questions over and over again. The staff are slightly less educated and it is completely apparent to our customers. Instead of the usual escalated calls from customers to complain about not getting their order in a timely fashion, I'm now having to listen to women tell me that they think they just spoke with a retarded person. The sad reality is that I'm not sure that she didn't just speak to a retarded person. Everyone is either lazy or obnoxious or chock full of drama that it's pissing me off. In fact the few people that I would consider smart or kind of cool have already walked off the job this week. I'm basically running around all day that I haven't really had a chance to reflect on the whole mess, but I can say this...I'm not going to be friends with my staff like I was in Philly. I will basically be a teacher, grading and taking roll each day and failing the dummies. I was hoping to maybe find a couple folks to befriend at work, but that is looking slim...and without friends here, I'm not sure what I'm going to do.
I'm about to have a 3 day weekend, one that thankfully contains cable and internet, a bed, blinds and a sofa that needs to be constructed in the morning. I have a shitload of wash to do and need to locate a laundry mat which should keep me busy. I'm also planning on seeing Land of the Dead with Joolie on Sunday. Joolie appears to be making the best of the move and has met some people that she is hanging out with pretty much every night. Sometimes I wish I was more trusting of people I don't know or more outgoing like she is. I don't want to wind up always tagging along with her to shit like her mongoloid brother or something. The one person I did meet at work that I planned to hang with quit today before I even got in. Although she rolled, she has my cell number and says she is gonna call me to hang out this weekend...but I'm not banking on it. If she does call, I'm sure you will hear all about it.
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
Deep, Dark South
I'm not going to lie, it's been rough. I'm lonely, very tired and hot all the time and I don't have a bed to sleep in, blinds on my windows or any of the comforts of home like internet, cable TV or food in the fridge. But I'm surviving...
I'm almost able to get around the area without getting horribly lost. And I should have cable installed Friday morning. I'm hoping I have blinds in the windows tonight when I get home from work. And maybe, just maybe my movers will call me tomorrow and tell me that my entire life will arrive before Monday of next week. I'm dying to get organized since I suffer from OCD and until I do I'll be unsettled.
I hope to be able to blab all about the crazy south this weekend...stay tuned.
I'm almost able to get around the area without getting horribly lost. And I should have cable installed Friday morning. I'm hoping I have blinds in the windows tonight when I get home from work. And maybe, just maybe my movers will call me tomorrow and tell me that my entire life will arrive before Monday of next week. I'm dying to get organized since I suffer from OCD and until I do I'll be unsettled.
I hope to be able to blab all about the crazy south this weekend...stay tuned.
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