Golden Globes

The Golden Globes nominations came out this past week and I took the liberty of telling you who will win and a whole lot of other pointless shit about the films and television shows nominated. Mind you I haven't even seen most of these films, but I have a lot to say about a lot, so why should this be any different?

Noms for Best Picture, Drama: "The Aviator," "Closer," "Finding Neverland," "Hotel Rwanda," "Kinsey," "Million Dollar Baby."
Will Win: Finding Neverland

Actress, Drama: Scarlett Johansson, "A Love Song for Bobby Long"; Nicole Kidman, "Birth," Imelda Staunton, "Vera Drake"; Hilary Swank, "Million Dollar Baby"; Uma Thurman, "Kill Bill: Vol. 2."
Will Win: Imelda Staunton. Why? Mike Liegh's films are always wonderfully acted and the foriegn press picks the winner. Imelda is foriegn you know.

Actor, Drama: Javier Bardem, "The Sea Inside"; Don Cheadle, "Hotel Rwanda"; Johnny Depp, "Finding Neverland"; Leonardo DiCaprio, "The Aviator"; Liam Neeson, "Kinsey."
Tough call on this one. Johnny Depp was robbed of an Oscar last year for Pirates, but is his performance stronger than Javier's quadrapalegic? Maybe. I'll take Mr. Depp by a nose.

Picture, Musical or Comedy: "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind," "The Incredibles," "Andrew Lloyd Webber's The Phantom of the Opera," "Ray," "Sideways."
Another very tough call. Sideways was such a good movie, but I am in love with Eternal Sunshine. Considering that this category has the fucking Pixar junk in it, I'll go with The Incredibles as a winner. Fucking sad.

Actress, Musical or Comedy: Annette Bening, "Being Julia"; Ashley Judd, "De-Lovely"; Emmy Rossum, "Andrew Lloyd Webber's The Phantom of the Opera," Kate Winslet, "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind," Renee Zellweger, "Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason."
What garbage. Winslet is amazing, but the Zellwegger can't lose. They love her. (Keep an eye on Bening...)

Actor, Musical or Comedy: Jim Carrey, "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind"; Jamie Foxx, "Ray"; Paul Giamatti, "Sideways"; Kevin Kline, "De-Lovely"; Kevin Spacey, "Beyond the Sea."
I would have said Jim Carrey hands down until Jamie Foxx showed up in that Ray trailer looking creepily like Mr. Charles and Paul G was given a great lead role finally. In a tight race, I'm going with the breakout performance of Jamie Foxx.

Foreign Language: "The Chorus," France; "House of Flying Daggers," China; "The Motorcycle Diaries," Brazil; "The Sea Inside," Spain; "A Very Long Engagement," France.
Flying Daggers. No doubt.

Supporting Actress: Cate Blanchett, "The Aviator"; Laura Linney, "Kinsey"; Virginia Madsen, "Sideways"; Natalie Portman, "Closer"; Meryl Streep, "The Manchurian Candidate."
Portman was a bright spot in Closer for me, but Madsen was resurrected in Sideways. Virginia all the way.

Supporting Actor: David Carradine, "Kill Bill: Vol. 2"; Thomas Haden Church, "Sideways"; Jamie Foxx, "Collateral"; Morgan Freeman, "Million Dollar Baby"; Clive Owen, "Closer."
Foxx has a better chance with Ray than this one. Clive Owen was another bright spot in Closer and was able to go from nice guy, to prick, to down and out flawlessly, but Thomas Haden Church was just too fucking funny not to win this one.

Director: Clint Eastwood, "Million Dollar Baby"; Marc Forster, "Finding Neverland"; Mike Nichols, "Closer"; Alexander Payne, "Sideways"; Martin Scorsese, "The Aviator."
Forster. I don't even know why.

Screenplay: Charlie Kaufman, "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind"; John Logan, "The Aviator"; David Magee, "Finding Neverland"; Patrick Marber, "Closer"; Alexander Payne and Jim Taylor, "Sideways."
For me, Sunshine and Sideways are a toss up. Kaufman has the edge.

TV

Drama Series: "24," Fox; "Deadwood," HBO; "Lost," ABC; "Nip/Tuck," FX; "The Sopranos," HBO.
Lost is hot right now. I don't watch any of the others, so fuck me.

Actress, Drama Series: Edie Falco, "The Sopranos"; Jennifer Garner, "Alias"; Mariska Hargitay, "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit"; Christine Lahti, "Jack & Bobby"; Joely Richardson, "Nip/Tuck."
Jennifer Garner is hot.

Actor, Drama Series: Michael Chiklis, "The Shield"; Denis Leary, "Rescue Me"; Julian McMahon, "Nip/Tuck"; Ian McShane, "Deadwood"; James Spader, "Boston Legal."
Spader is the man. But they love Chiklis and I'm assuming Leary falls into Chiklis status with a nomination from a show no one watches.

Series, Musical or Comedy: "Arrested Development," Fox; "Desperate Housewives," ABC; "Entourage, HBO; "Sex and the City," HBO; "Will & Grace," NBC.
I loved Entourage, but it's only like 10 episodes long. Arrested Development is the funniest show on TV right now. Fuck those Desperate Housewives. I'm already sick of the hype.

Actress, Musical or Comedy: Marcia Cross, "Desperate Housewives"; Teri Hatcher, "Desperate Housewives"; Felicity Huffman, "Desperate Housewives"; Debra Messing, "Will & Grace"; Sarah Jessica Parker, "Sex and the City."
Does it matter? SJP because Sex is over and all those Housewives cancel each other out.

Actor, Musical or Comedy: Jason Bateman, "Arrested Development"; Zach Braff, "Scrubs"; Larry David, "Curb Your Enthusiasm"; Matt LeBlanc, "Joey"; Tony Shalhoub, "Monk"; Charlie Sheen, "Two and a Half Men."
Incredibly hard choice between Larry David and Jason Bateman for me. I think I'll go with Bateman. But Shaloub seems to win like Chiklis for a show that NO ONE WATCHES!

Supporting Actress, Miniseries, Movie or Series: Drea de Matteo, "The Sopranos"; Anjelica Huston, "Iron Jawed Angels"; Nicollette Sheridan, "Desperate Housewives"; Charlize Theron, "The Life and Death of Peter Sellers"; Emily Watson, "The Life and Death of Peter Sellers."
Didn't de Matteo die on Sopranos. If so, she wins.

Supporting Actor, Miniseries, Movie or Series: Sean Hayes, "Will & Grace"; Michael Imperioli, "The Sopranos"; Jeremy Piven, "Entourage"; Oliver Platt, "Huff"; William Shatner, "Boston Legal."
Jeremy Piven and the Shat are both incredible. Make this one a tie. Pretty please.