1. This big fucker keeps getting into our trash besides the house like there's pussy in them thar cans. And this week I was responsible for taking the cans to the curb for trash removal tomorrow morning. So I just spent the last 20 minutes shoveling up wet trash from all over the place and getting all nice and pretty for the trash truck men. It was wet and nasty, like a crack whore's box and now I stink.
2. That long car ride back from Conneaut Lake, PA when I was 12 years old and my aunt Barb and uncle Sam decided they wanted to take a raccoon as a pet back to Philly without a cage. (After all Uncle Tom practically house broke 'em) I spent a grueling 9 hours wedged into the space between the back of the driver's seat and the bottom of the back seat covered by a blanket fending off a wild fucking racoon that would eventually have to be shot for "getting out of line" with a neighbor kid or some shit a few years later. Did I mention that the other factors that contributed to this ride being the most miserable of my life were my screaming 2 year old cousin Todd who was riddled with the flu and the fact that I was recently bitten by a bat and suffering from the effects of rabies. It's a long story...
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1 comment:
As the smartest person in the car, maybe you should've been driving! Even with rabies...
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