After work today I stopped by the world's smallest YMCA to join up. It's mega cool that it's on the way home from work, but man is it small. 3 treadmills, 2 stair climber jawns and a bunch of universal weight equipment....that's it. However, I got myself a membership that allows me to use all the Y's in the area and there is a giant one about 10 minutes from my house that I can hit up on the weekends. As an added bonus, the smooth talker that I am I managed to open a family membership with Sydney as my "wife" which saves me $50 upfront and $20 a month. Syd is gonna be my personal trainer and motivator a couple days a week since we carpool and she has had a desire to run recently. (Apparently she was a track star or something.)
I also called about a cheaper apartment today and it looks like it should be no problem getting a 1 bedroom about 7 blocks away for $400 a month, or a $300 savings per month in rent. I am shooting for a mid-April move out to give me 2 weeks to move stuff slowly between places and deal with all the utility nonsense. The hope is to be up and running before the "getaway weekend" over in Tybee Island.
Speaking of which, I got my confirmation email today that the place I reserved for the weekend in Tybee is mine. This is the place and I'm quite happy with it. Time to mark the calendar and count down the days. But first, we watch American Idol and pack for my jaunt home to Philly which is quick approaching. I'll be home in 48 hours and I can't wait.
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Monday, February 27, 2006
TV Tidbits
I'm really tired tonight, getting up at 6 AM does that to a man, so I'm just going to briefly mention the following regarding my television viewing today.
1. Deal or No Deal is perhaps the most inane waste of time I've ever spent. And Donnie Trump shilling Apprentice 5 on there was unnecessary to say the least. The insane build up, the commercial breaks, the hot chicks and brief cases....ugh.
2. Bruce Jenner on ice skates is an hilarious sight.
1. Deal or No Deal is perhaps the most inane waste of time I've ever spent. And Donnie Trump shilling Apprentice 5 on there was unnecessary to say the least. The insane build up, the commercial breaks, the hot chicks and brief cases....ugh.
2. Bruce Jenner on ice skates is an hilarious sight.
Sunday, February 26, 2006
The List
One my many quirks, as a film buff, is that I look forward to the issue of Premeire magazine where they publish a comprehensive list of the 100 best reviewed movies of the last year. Usually this list is used to identify movies that were on my radar and fell off my radar before I put them in my Netflix queue. Everything is Illuminated and Kiss Kiss Bang Bang fall into this category. While I'm checking out the list, I get kind of surprised where movies that I enjoyed fall, how about 40 Year Old Virgin coming in at #39, yet I can't think of a funnier movie from last year. And although I do think Wedding Crashers was also very funny, it coming in ahead of 40 Year Old at #35 doesn't make sense to me. I think most shocking of all on this list would be that you would probably not be able to guess the #1 reviewed movie of the year. I'll give you a hint, it's not nominated in any major category for the Oscars. And Brokeback Mountain, Capote, Good Night, Good Luck and Munich comprise the remaining Top 5. Now if you are thinking a cartoon, you would be wrong...as Wallace and Gromit came in at #8. Give up? How about Grizzly Man being the best reviewed film of 2005. Very strange.
In any case, a by-product of this list is the bottom 10. Now here's where the real fun comes in. I always cringe when I realize I saw one of the bottom ten. The level of severity depends on whether or not I saw it in the theater or just on HBO. And what really hurts is when I not only saw one of the bottom 10, but that I liked one of them. Let's take a look and see...
100. The Pacifier
99. Stealth
98. Domino
97. Monster-In-Law
96. Be Cool
95. Bewtiched
94. The Longest Yard
93. The Dukes of Hazzard
92. Diary of a Mad Black Woman
91. Fantastic Four
Whew. I only saw the Longest Yard remake On Demand and that was out of sheer boredom. Yeah it sucked, but it wasn't #100. Lucky for me Constantine came in at #90, and it was a movie that I really liked. I doubt anything on this bottom dweller list shocks anyone, but it's kind of funny to think of the box office money these gems brought in. Without looking up actual figures, I would have to guess both Dukes and Longest Yard hit 100 million, Diary of a Mad Black Woman cleaned up in the African American community and cost barely anything to make, equating to huge success for the director/star. Fantastic Four was a weak superhero movie, but brought in some bank. I think even The Pacifier was a hit with 8 year olds. Oh well, America has rarely ever gotten it right. I'm certain that more people saw Stealth then will ever see Grizzly Man despite the fact that the Discovery Channel seems to be showing it nightly.
In any case, a by-product of this list is the bottom 10. Now here's where the real fun comes in. I always cringe when I realize I saw one of the bottom ten. The level of severity depends on whether or not I saw it in the theater or just on HBO. And what really hurts is when I not only saw one of the bottom 10, but that I liked one of them. Let's take a look and see...
100. The Pacifier
99. Stealth
98. Domino
97. Monster-In-Law
96. Be Cool
95. Bewtiched
94. The Longest Yard
93. The Dukes of Hazzard
92. Diary of a Mad Black Woman
91. Fantastic Four
Whew. I only saw the Longest Yard remake On Demand and that was out of sheer boredom. Yeah it sucked, but it wasn't #100. Lucky for me Constantine came in at #90, and it was a movie that I really liked. I doubt anything on this bottom dweller list shocks anyone, but it's kind of funny to think of the box office money these gems brought in. Without looking up actual figures, I would have to guess both Dukes and Longest Yard hit 100 million, Diary of a Mad Black Woman cleaned up in the African American community and cost barely anything to make, equating to huge success for the director/star. Fantastic Four was a weak superhero movie, but brought in some bank. I think even The Pacifier was a hit with 8 year olds. Oh well, America has rarely ever gotten it right. I'm certain that more people saw Stealth then will ever see Grizzly Man despite the fact that the Discovery Channel seems to be showing it nightly.
Upside of Small Town Life
As yesterday progressed, pouring rain and dark skies, and my mood kept turning sour I was convinced that the day was a wash out of sorts. There was talk of perhaps putting together a small bowling expedition, but that fell apart when a lot of folks headed to Atlanta to see Nashville Pussy play and Joolie and Eric were opting to see a show here in Augusta of a band called the Avett Brothers. So rather than stay in and wallow in misery, I coaxed Mike and Erika to join me over at the Mission to tag along with Eric and Joolie. I love the fact that pretty much everything I want to do is within walking distance from my house. Even if I have to get drenched getting there.
Anyway, the point of this post is that I stumbled upon one of the best live shows I have ever witnessed last night in the Avett Brothers. And if I wasn't here in bumblefuck, USA I would never have gone and seen these guys play. I highly encourage you all to check them out on ITunes and give them a listen. The set up of the band is very simple, two brothers (one on banjo and one on guitar) and a stand up bass player. No drums. They use stomping during their songs to give it that element of percussion. And let's call this music neo-country, bluegrass, folk or some such hodge-podge. Lush harmonies, love songs for the broken hearted and a great southern spirit. Last night was the last night of their tour and they admitted that they saw Augusta on the schedule and thought "oh well." Until they realized that there is nothing else for us Augustans to do and we packed the place and gave them 100% of our collective love which I think made them turn it up a notch. This kind of night would never have happened in the big, bad city up North.
As an added bonus, the opener was a local act with a horrible name The Shaun Piazza Band that I had been curious about for quite some time here. People have said nice things about them to me, but that band name really conjurs up cheese in my mind. In any case, they were on stage when I showed up and they were incredibly good. I was in shock. So I got a 2 for 1 special here in good old Augusta.
Anyway, the point of this post is that I stumbled upon one of the best live shows I have ever witnessed last night in the Avett Brothers. And if I wasn't here in bumblefuck, USA I would never have gone and seen these guys play. I highly encourage you all to check them out on ITunes and give them a listen. The set up of the band is very simple, two brothers (one on banjo and one on guitar) and a stand up bass player. No drums. They use stomping during their songs to give it that element of percussion. And let's call this music neo-country, bluegrass, folk or some such hodge-podge. Lush harmonies, love songs for the broken hearted and a great southern spirit. Last night was the last night of their tour and they admitted that they saw Augusta on the schedule and thought "oh well." Until they realized that there is nothing else for us Augustans to do and we packed the place and gave them 100% of our collective love which I think made them turn it up a notch. This kind of night would never have happened in the big, bad city up North.
As an added bonus, the opener was a local act with a horrible name The Shaun Piazza Band that I had been curious about for quite some time here. People have said nice things about them to me, but that band name really conjurs up cheese in my mind. In any case, they were on stage when I showed up and they were incredibly good. I was in shock. So I got a 2 for 1 special here in good old Augusta.
Saturday, February 25, 2006
Rain.
Today sucks.
It's raining like a motherfucker.
Last night I went out for a short time to hang with Callie and Cinthy, two girls from my work. I didn't really feel like drinking, and although their company was nice, I just was longing for something more. I have been looking at old photographs lately, and I see all the fun I used to have. I kind of wish I could recapture some of that feeling here.
Right now, I'm anxious to go home for a spell to see my friends and family up North. I love my girls to death here, but sometimes they just want to be girls and when they do, I get tossed to the side. I guess I need to step up my game and get busy with finding some sort single guys who like to sit around and drink beer and fart on the weekends. Otherwise, I may go mad just sitting alone in my apartment.
Ah, rain. Makes you feel wonderful doesn't it?
Fucking rain.
It's raining like a motherfucker.
Last night I went out for a short time to hang with Callie and Cinthy, two girls from my work. I didn't really feel like drinking, and although their company was nice, I just was longing for something more. I have been looking at old photographs lately, and I see all the fun I used to have. I kind of wish I could recapture some of that feeling here.
Right now, I'm anxious to go home for a spell to see my friends and family up North. I love my girls to death here, but sometimes they just want to be girls and when they do, I get tossed to the side. I guess I need to step up my game and get busy with finding some sort single guys who like to sit around and drink beer and fart on the weekends. Otherwise, I may go mad just sitting alone in my apartment.
Ah, rain. Makes you feel wonderful doesn't it?
Fucking rain.
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Evolution
Okay, for years and years I have turned my back on and my nose up to the idea of seafood. With the exception of a tuna fish sandwich, I can't say I have a desire to eat anything that comes from the ocean. A recent visit with the doctor, who like me is concerned with my weight, has lead me to give fish another try. The doctor says that I need to watch what I eat and that fish is really, really healthy for me. I guess I must be getting old because I actually listened to the man. I have even made an appointment for a nutritionist consult and I'm in the process of joining the Y to get my workout on. I'm getting off topic.
So tonight I made some fish for dinner. Talapia to be exact. The mildest of fish I'm told. Anyway, I am here to report that the shit wasn't half bad. I think I actually kind of liked it. Go figure. In any case, I think I will be mixing fish into my diet a couple times a week now since it was a) edible b) quick and easy to make and c) fucking good for me.
So tonight I made some fish for dinner. Talapia to be exact. The mildest of fish I'm told. Anyway, I am here to report that the shit wasn't half bad. I think I actually kind of liked it. Go figure. In any case, I think I will be mixing fish into my diet a couple times a week now since it was a) edible b) quick and easy to make and c) fucking good for me.
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
American Idol 5
Alright, well it's that time of year when the American Idol machine starts rolling and I become an absolute retard. The judges all went on record saying that they put through TV worthy folks this time instead of actual singers, but I'm wondering if they aren't having second thoughts after watching last night and tonight?
The girls trodded out last night and were pretty much a fucking disaster. Becky is hot, but not very talented. Brenna, Heather, Melissa are just okay, but not as forgettable as Kinnik or Stevie one of whom will probably be done this week. Little Paris did her thing and I was kind of digging that. I loved that last girl, the chubby one named Katherine. Oh, but I really, really heart the very sincere "my daddy is in jail" trailer girl Kellie Pickler. That little cutie will go far I'm sure. And for some reason I have the hots for the basketball giant?
The fellas were equally as lame tonight with the exception of maybe 4 guys who were solid. The problem was that no one was great and it makes the show seem a tad like it might have jumped the shark. Who the fuck is going to be an Idol out of this lot of guys? Ace is probably the best combination of hunk and skills, but otherwise you have some ugly looking dudes to choose from. Vocal skills aside, both Bucky and Elliott are in dire need of emergency denistry, Taylor looks 47, the younger dudes look mad young, like 12 and shit. And don't get me started on that kid who sang Barry Manilow. Fucking train wreck. And did anyone else notice the omission of black dudes this time around? All we have is the grinning kid Gideon who scares the hell out of me. When the night was done, Taylor had a lousy song choice, Chris did well with Wanted Dead or Alive, The Crooner kid was tolerable and Elliott/Ace both really came out strong and threw down the gauntlet.
Now since I am a betting man always, I think I'll give you my top 5 and let's see in a couple months just how close I come to being right.
1. Ace Young
2. Elliott Yamin
3. Katherine McPhee
4. Paris Bennett
5. Chris Daughtry
Of course, these selections mirror who I think America will predicably vote in to the final 5 and not indicative of who I think should be there. My top guy is Taylor Hicks and my top gal is Kellie Pickler, but neither will make it all the way.
The girls trodded out last night and were pretty much a fucking disaster. Becky is hot, but not very talented. Brenna, Heather, Melissa are just okay, but not as forgettable as Kinnik or Stevie one of whom will probably be done this week. Little Paris did her thing and I was kind of digging that. I loved that last girl, the chubby one named Katherine. Oh, but I really, really heart the very sincere "my daddy is in jail" trailer girl Kellie Pickler. That little cutie will go far I'm sure. And for some reason I have the hots for the basketball giant?
The fellas were equally as lame tonight with the exception of maybe 4 guys who were solid. The problem was that no one was great and it makes the show seem a tad like it might have jumped the shark. Who the fuck is going to be an Idol out of this lot of guys? Ace is probably the best combination of hunk and skills, but otherwise you have some ugly looking dudes to choose from. Vocal skills aside, both Bucky and Elliott are in dire need of emergency denistry, Taylor looks 47, the younger dudes look mad young, like 12 and shit. And don't get me started on that kid who sang Barry Manilow. Fucking train wreck. And did anyone else notice the omission of black dudes this time around? All we have is the grinning kid Gideon who scares the hell out of me. When the night was done, Taylor had a lousy song choice, Chris did well with Wanted Dead or Alive, The Crooner kid was tolerable and Elliott/Ace both really came out strong and threw down the gauntlet.
Now since I am a betting man always, I think I'll give you my top 5 and let's see in a couple months just how close I come to being right.
1. Ace Young
2. Elliott Yamin
3. Katherine McPhee
4. Paris Bennett
5. Chris Daughtry
Of course, these selections mirror who I think America will predicably vote in to the final 5 and not indicative of who I think should be there. My top guy is Taylor Hicks and my top gal is Kellie Pickler, but neither will make it all the way.
Monday, February 20, 2006
In Development
So I've got a couple balls in the air right now with trips and visits. I'm on my way up to Philly the first weekend of March for a much needed visit with my friends and family back home. I originally planned the trip around Spring Break for Temple University to coincide with some coed frolicking, but since that shit has fallen apart I'm actually happy to see that my weekend converges with many non-pussy related activities of note. First of all, I'm rallying who I can for a poker night something I dearly miss down here in Georgia. Since I hang out with girls mostly, poker is not an option. And recently Eric, Joolie's boy, confided in me that he doesn't know what beats what in poker, so the future of starting up a poker night here seems unlikely. The Saturday I'm up in Philly is my buddy JV's birthday, so that's cool as well. Sunday will be a family get together for my siblings that will be a celebration of my Mother's death anniversary, which will be more uplifting than that sounds, followed by an Oscar party (I hope) with Brother Dan, Rose, Mr. and Mrs. Kevin and perhaps Audrey. This trip is going to be all about seeing my people...
The weekend of St. Patty's Day I will have the Weasel stopping by on his way to Clearwater to watch the Phillies in Spring Training. The timing of his trip is apropos considering he loves to get filthy drunk and it is St. Pat's day. I'm anxious to see what his take on the Firehouse (my watering hole of choice) is and if he manages to appreciate any of the people I am known to cavort with from time to time. I am hopeful that he will fit right in and enjoy himself.
And just mere minutes ago I sent off an email expressing interest in a beach property for rental in late April on the Coast of GA. For some unknown reason I have had the urge to go to the beach? My only preference was that the place I rent have a hot tub, otherwise I wasn't too picky. The plan is to take along the home girls and make it a getaway weekend for all of us on my dime. I know I will enjoy getting wasted and planting my ass in a hot tub at 3 AM. I only hope that Sydney, Tena and Joolie feel the same way. Okay, okay, I know all you perverts will think that this is my "sudden desire to go to the beach," a chance to hot tub with some lovely ladies, but you are wrong. These girls are flat out FUN and I know if I go with them, I'll be forced to do shit that I usually wouldn't do and that I need to. It's time I broadened my horizons...and I know they all have their reasons for needing a getaway, so I'm happy to give them that outlet.
The weekend of St. Patty's Day I will have the Weasel stopping by on his way to Clearwater to watch the Phillies in Spring Training. The timing of his trip is apropos considering he loves to get filthy drunk and it is St. Pat's day. I'm anxious to see what his take on the Firehouse (my watering hole of choice) is and if he manages to appreciate any of the people I am known to cavort with from time to time. I am hopeful that he will fit right in and enjoy himself.
And just mere minutes ago I sent off an email expressing interest in a beach property for rental in late April on the Coast of GA. For some unknown reason I have had the urge to go to the beach? My only preference was that the place I rent have a hot tub, otherwise I wasn't too picky. The plan is to take along the home girls and make it a getaway weekend for all of us on my dime. I know I will enjoy getting wasted and planting my ass in a hot tub at 3 AM. I only hope that Sydney, Tena and Joolie feel the same way. Okay, okay, I know all you perverts will think that this is my "sudden desire to go to the beach," a chance to hot tub with some lovely ladies, but you are wrong. These girls are flat out FUN and I know if I go with them, I'll be forced to do shit that I usually wouldn't do and that I need to. It's time I broadened my horizons...and I know they all have their reasons for needing a getaway, so I'm happy to give them that outlet.
Sunday, February 19, 2006
Messing Around
Lately I have been using my idle time for getting a slight handle on Photoshop. Since I've unearthed a passion for snapping pictures like a japanese tourist, I have gotten somewhat concerned with the look of some of my shots and have found Photoshop to be quite helpful in giving my shots a look I want. Everyone knows that Photoshop is great for putting your friend's heads on famous people or making wacky print ads out of something, but it is capable of so much more.
See?
See?
Saturday, February 18, 2006
Overdue?
It's been a while since I had a soul cleansing post, so since I'm kind of bored and predisposed working I guess I'll get all reflective about shit and whatnot. I may jump all over the map here, so bear with me. I'm tired, unfocused and I am a shade awkward when it comes to emoting about my issues or situation, so you have been warned.
Here's what I am learning about myself:
1. I don't really want to own a home.
I have been doing the research and looking for the perfect place to buy lately, but the fire has never really come up into my belly like I was hoping it would. I like it here for the most part, and the job is going well, but I don't see myself as a home owner. The responsibility, the financial aspect, it's all kind of overwhelming to me and honestly the only reason I'm considering it is to reduce my monthly rent payment somewhat. I've been clued into the fact that my rental company may have taken advantage of me upon moving here (shocker!) and I am paying an above market rent payment for a space that isn't that big. So, here's what I think I'm going to do in the short term. I'm going to find a new apartment for less and move before my lease is up. Joolie managed to break her lease with the same company with little hassle, so I know it can be done.
2. I really, really, really want to have a girlfriend.
Okay, let me explain this one by using this very clever analogy. I don't miss using crack because I've never used it. What I mean by this is very simple, I grew attached to the idea of having a girlfriend when I started to actually have some success with women. When I was just a lonely retard that couldn't get a girl to hook up with me more than once, I never thought about "being" with someone. I was more focused on getting a second date than planning out our lives together. Since moving here, I have managed to break free a little and I feel more confident which has equated to some modest success. This very limited exposure to connecting with a woman on different levels has made me want to take things further, makes me want to have a someone in my life for more than just a month, or two. Now I'm like a crackhead. So much so that I have started to think that giving up on something like I did without much of a fight was a dumb move. What I haven't quite decided on is do I feel this way because I think about this or do I think this way because this is how I feel about it? If that last sentence confuses you, imagine what it's like to be me? What I mean is that I don't want to work towards repairing a broken relationship if the only reason is for me to have a girlfriend. I want there to be other reasons, I want to sense that the relationship will have promise even if it may be a struggle.
3. Augusta, Georgia is drunk.
Although I've met some interesting people here in Augusta, and I think I'm actually at the point where I can say I have friends, for the most part I see a lot their lives being destroyed by alcohol. Let me provide some examples so that you can see what I mean. Punk Rock Baby is a drunk, something she is starting to realize and something I realized early on in dealing with her. Chris is a guy who was in the hospital a few weeks ago with pancreatis from binge drinking. Jason is going through a messy divorce and got drunk, attempted to beat up his wife's lover and instead got his good friend's ass kicked who was along for the ride. In just the last week a girl got her face smashed into a wall perhaps blinding her in one eye, this guy Chance got a DUI and I can't even imagine how many ugly people in this town fucked all the result of alcohol intake. Now I'm all for going out and having a good time, but this town doesn't know much about moderation. I guess living here your whole life may contribute some to bad habits, I've been bored more times in this town than not over the last 8 months, so maybe that's a contributing factor. All I'm saying is that I see a scary pattern developing and I'm happy that I don't have an addictive personality. Nor can I physically handle drinking more than once or twice a week at the most.
4. I am the gay friend who isn't gay.
I'm at the bar last night and in walks this guy who sort of resembles me, same body type, wearing glasses, same color tee shirt that I was wearing, and Joolie slips when instead of saying "Hey it's your doppelganger!" she says "Hey it's the male version of you!" Now I'm thrilled that Joolie and I have become Best Friends Forever, but I kind of wish she thought of me as a guy still. I'm not threatened by being labeled gay by anyone, God knows I don't give a fuck about sexual orientation. And Joolie knows I'm not gay, so I'm not implying that she was trying to out me at the bar in front of her boyfriend or anything. It's just that Joolie and I look at each other as best friends now and that role is typically held by someone of the same sex not the opposite sex. I'm just as guilty as she is by talking to her openly about porn, shitting, having sex; stuff usually reserved for conversations with my boys. And I'm not really concerned about this, as much as I think it's a funny story that explains a lot about me in a very quick way. As evidenced by my growing closeness to Sydney and Tena, I'm a pretty comfortable guy to be around. Okay, once you establish boundaries with me that is. There isn't a guy alive who is straight and has female friends that hasn't thought about them as either a girlfriend or a sex object, and I'm no different. The thing with me is that I get crushes on girls, fail to light a spark in them to find me interesting and decide that if I liked them enough to want to date them, then they must be pretty solid chicks. At that point I am able to just be a very supportive and considerate friend to them, even if I am a guy who used to want to fuck them. Most guys would probably find this to be torture and I'm not going to lie, it's not always easy to be viewed as a non-threat. However, the way each of these ladies contributes to my life is intregral to my survival right now. What kind of sucks a little is that other girls are usually quick to assume that I'm already with one of the girls I roll with or that I'm gay or they are threatened by the girls which is silly girl bullshit that I can't figure the hell out.
5. Johari Window
As my friend Jared pointed out in a comment on here, I need more introspection like a bullet to the head, but I can tell you that the word on the Johari window is that I found it incredibly insightful. Only about 10 folks took part in the experiment, but the cross section of people who did was pretty good and therefore I think the results will continue to fall into a pattern that has already emerged. The participants included family members, old friends, new friends, best friends, work associates and each sub group has similiar assessments of my quality of being. Realizing that the way I carry myself around a particular group of people determines for them who I am, was reason enough to justify doing this silly thing. Some things were no surprise to me, lots of people think I'm witty and complex, and I couldn't agree more. I was shocked a little to see that no one said I was kind, a quality I picked for myself. However, people did use words like helpful, caring, trustworthy and dependable which I think are similiar in concept to being kind. Another fun tidbit that came out of this was that people think I'm smart...10 of 11 people either chose intelligent or knowledgable to describe me. I do think I'm smart, I just shyed away from picking that because I didn't want to seem like a cocky fuck. I think it's funny that only two people agreed with my selection of self-concious, one being Joolie and the other my cousin Todd. But not as funny as only having two people confirm that I'm loving, one of which was my brother. Don't you people read this fucking blog???!!!?!?! Let's finish this off with a scary revelation, one that I found shocking about the Johari Window experiment. The person who pegged the most right was Punk Rock Baby and that's just all kinds of scary. Not because of who she is or what she's done, but because it only proves that I showed her who I really was and she figured me out. And her getting so many right made me think that putting yourself out there for people isn't such a bad thing even if things don't always work out the way you would have hoped they would.
Here's what I am learning about myself:
1. I don't really want to own a home.
I have been doing the research and looking for the perfect place to buy lately, but the fire has never really come up into my belly like I was hoping it would. I like it here for the most part, and the job is going well, but I don't see myself as a home owner. The responsibility, the financial aspect, it's all kind of overwhelming to me and honestly the only reason I'm considering it is to reduce my monthly rent payment somewhat. I've been clued into the fact that my rental company may have taken advantage of me upon moving here (shocker!) and I am paying an above market rent payment for a space that isn't that big. So, here's what I think I'm going to do in the short term. I'm going to find a new apartment for less and move before my lease is up. Joolie managed to break her lease with the same company with little hassle, so I know it can be done.
2. I really, really, really want to have a girlfriend.
Okay, let me explain this one by using this very clever analogy. I don't miss using crack because I've never used it. What I mean by this is very simple, I grew attached to the idea of having a girlfriend when I started to actually have some success with women. When I was just a lonely retard that couldn't get a girl to hook up with me more than once, I never thought about "being" with someone. I was more focused on getting a second date than planning out our lives together. Since moving here, I have managed to break free a little and I feel more confident which has equated to some modest success. This very limited exposure to connecting with a woman on different levels has made me want to take things further, makes me want to have a someone in my life for more than just a month, or two. Now I'm like a crackhead. So much so that I have started to think that giving up on something like I did without much of a fight was a dumb move. What I haven't quite decided on is do I feel this way because I think about this or do I think this way because this is how I feel about it? If that last sentence confuses you, imagine what it's like to be me? What I mean is that I don't want to work towards repairing a broken relationship if the only reason is for me to have a girlfriend. I want there to be other reasons, I want to sense that the relationship will have promise even if it may be a struggle.
3. Augusta, Georgia is drunk.
Although I've met some interesting people here in Augusta, and I think I'm actually at the point where I can say I have friends, for the most part I see a lot their lives being destroyed by alcohol. Let me provide some examples so that you can see what I mean. Punk Rock Baby is a drunk, something she is starting to realize and something I realized early on in dealing with her. Chris is a guy who was in the hospital a few weeks ago with pancreatis from binge drinking. Jason is going through a messy divorce and got drunk, attempted to beat up his wife's lover and instead got his good friend's ass kicked who was along for the ride. In just the last week a girl got her face smashed into a wall perhaps blinding her in one eye, this guy Chance got a DUI and I can't even imagine how many ugly people in this town fucked all the result of alcohol intake. Now I'm all for going out and having a good time, but this town doesn't know much about moderation. I guess living here your whole life may contribute some to bad habits, I've been bored more times in this town than not over the last 8 months, so maybe that's a contributing factor. All I'm saying is that I see a scary pattern developing and I'm happy that I don't have an addictive personality. Nor can I physically handle drinking more than once or twice a week at the most.
4. I am the gay friend who isn't gay.
I'm at the bar last night and in walks this guy who sort of resembles me, same body type, wearing glasses, same color tee shirt that I was wearing, and Joolie slips when instead of saying "Hey it's your doppelganger!" she says "Hey it's the male version of you!" Now I'm thrilled that Joolie and I have become Best Friends Forever, but I kind of wish she thought of me as a guy still. I'm not threatened by being labeled gay by anyone, God knows I don't give a fuck about sexual orientation. And Joolie knows I'm not gay, so I'm not implying that she was trying to out me at the bar in front of her boyfriend or anything. It's just that Joolie and I look at each other as best friends now and that role is typically held by someone of the same sex not the opposite sex. I'm just as guilty as she is by talking to her openly about porn, shitting, having sex; stuff usually reserved for conversations with my boys. And I'm not really concerned about this, as much as I think it's a funny story that explains a lot about me in a very quick way. As evidenced by my growing closeness to Sydney and Tena, I'm a pretty comfortable guy to be around. Okay, once you establish boundaries with me that is. There isn't a guy alive who is straight and has female friends that hasn't thought about them as either a girlfriend or a sex object, and I'm no different. The thing with me is that I get crushes on girls, fail to light a spark in them to find me interesting and decide that if I liked them enough to want to date them, then they must be pretty solid chicks. At that point I am able to just be a very supportive and considerate friend to them, even if I am a guy who used to want to fuck them. Most guys would probably find this to be torture and I'm not going to lie, it's not always easy to be viewed as a non-threat. However, the way each of these ladies contributes to my life is intregral to my survival right now. What kind of sucks a little is that other girls are usually quick to assume that I'm already with one of the girls I roll with or that I'm gay or they are threatened by the girls which is silly girl bullshit that I can't figure the hell out.
5. Johari Window
As my friend Jared pointed out in a comment on here, I need more introspection like a bullet to the head, but I can tell you that the word on the Johari window is that I found it incredibly insightful. Only about 10 folks took part in the experiment, but the cross section of people who did was pretty good and therefore I think the results will continue to fall into a pattern that has already emerged. The participants included family members, old friends, new friends, best friends, work associates and each sub group has similiar assessments of my quality of being. Realizing that the way I carry myself around a particular group of people determines for them who I am, was reason enough to justify doing this silly thing. Some things were no surprise to me, lots of people think I'm witty and complex, and I couldn't agree more. I was shocked a little to see that no one said I was kind, a quality I picked for myself. However, people did use words like helpful, caring, trustworthy and dependable which I think are similiar in concept to being kind. Another fun tidbit that came out of this was that people think I'm smart...10 of 11 people either chose intelligent or knowledgable to describe me. I do think I'm smart, I just shyed away from picking that because I didn't want to seem like a cocky fuck. I think it's funny that only two people agreed with my selection of self-concious, one being Joolie and the other my cousin Todd. But not as funny as only having two people confirm that I'm loving, one of which was my brother. Don't you people read this fucking blog???!!!?!?! Let's finish this off with a scary revelation, one that I found shocking about the Johari Window experiment. The person who pegged the most right was Punk Rock Baby and that's just all kinds of scary. Not because of who she is or what she's done, but because it only proves that I showed her who I really was and she figured me out. And her getting so many right made me think that putting yourself out there for people isn't such a bad thing even if things don't always work out the way you would have hoped they would.
Friday, February 17, 2006
Celebrity Sex Tape
Am I the only one who was hoping that the Scott Stapp/Kid Rock sex video featured them blowing each other?
Thursday, February 16, 2006
Mid-Week Fun
These pictures were taken last night at the karoake bar across the street from my house. A couple of the guys I roll with down here had birthdays yesterday and we tore it up weekend style on hump day. I said I would only stay out until midnight, but once the Bud Light gets flowing and the songs get requested...
I managed to survive a day at work on 3 hours sleep and with an incredible hangover, so it was worth it.
Last night was one of the best times I had since moving here, and I managed to do it all by myself. No Joolie, No Sydney, No Tena. Just me, the Augusta Fallout Crew (the guys/gals I associate with go by this moniker) and a whole lot of bad singing. I'm fucking out of it, so I think it's time for bed.
I managed to survive a day at work on 3 hours sleep and with an incredible hangover, so it was worth it.
Last night was one of the best times I had since moving here, and I managed to do it all by myself. No Joolie, No Sydney, No Tena. Just me, the Augusta Fallout Crew (the guys/gals I associate with go by this moniker) and a whole lot of bad singing. I'm fucking out of it, so I think it's time for bed.
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
Rest In Peace
It's with great sadness that I report that Quatro, Joolie's recently purchased toy chihuahua died. Although I never had the chance to meet him, I feel the impact he had when I look into Joolie's eyes. You will be missed little buddy.
You will be missed.
Valentine's Day
I'd say "who gives a shit?" about Valentine's Day, but I would be lying. I do give a shit about it. As per usual, I'm spending it alone and trying not to put too much emphasis on that very fact. As a guy who likes to spoil women, it feels odd not to have anyone to buy something for today. Of course I gave out some cards to the women I'm friends with, but it's not the same. Just like a text message from Tena saying Happy Hearts Day or a paper heart made by Sydney means a lot to me, it's not what I wish I had.
Loving someone makes me feel great. But feeling like someone loves me feels a million times better. As much as I like to think I'm over her, sometimes I feel like I'm not. Days like this, when I walk into work and it looks like Cupid threw up on the place and you see delivery after delivery of roses, teddy bears and balloons, you can't help but feel desperate, lonely, jaded, disappointed or just detached from those around you who are basking in the afterglow of love.
I sound like a chick. God. What a loser...
All I'm saying is that it sucks being alone on V-Day. Everyone knows that, male or female, but some people just hide it better than others.
Loving someone makes me feel great. But feeling like someone loves me feels a million times better. As much as I like to think I'm over her, sometimes I feel like I'm not. Days like this, when I walk into work and it looks like Cupid threw up on the place and you see delivery after delivery of roses, teddy bears and balloons, you can't help but feel desperate, lonely, jaded, disappointed or just detached from those around you who are basking in the afterglow of love.
I sound like a chick. God. What a loser...
All I'm saying is that it sucks being alone on V-Day. Everyone knows that, male or female, but some people just hide it better than others.
Day 4
Thank goodness it's over. I can return to the confines of work and forget this horrible excuse for a long weekend.
My final day off saw me accomplish getting an oil change for my car. Oh, and new wipers. Wow. How do I do it all? I also went to this really creepy place that I would like to forget and more importantly not speak of. And I went to Joolie's to give her a hug. Joolie bought a toy chihuahua last week and it died yesterday morning. So she was very upset understandably.
I now return you to our regularly scheduled banter about pop culture and self loathing...
My final day off saw me accomplish getting an oil change for my car. Oh, and new wipers. Wow. How do I do it all? I also went to this really creepy place that I would like to forget and more importantly not speak of. And I went to Joolie's to give her a hug. Joolie bought a toy chihuahua last week and it died yesterday morning. So she was very upset understandably.
I now return you to our regularly scheduled banter about pop culture and self loathing...
Sunday, February 12, 2006
Day 3
I went to have coffee for 4 hours with Sydney. Over where Tena works. Read the paper. God damn this long weekend is boring. I cleaned my room and repositioned some furniture. Went food shopping. Ugh. Kill me.
Moving on...
The Johari Window was invented by Joseph Luft and Harrington Ingram in the 1950s as a model for mapping personality awareness. By describing yourself from a fixed list of adjectives, then asking your friends and colleagues to describe you from the same list, a grid of overlap and difference can be built up.
I want to know how you'd describe me - pick the five or six words from the list that you think describe me the best.
(You can set up your own Johari Window afterwards, if you like.)
Do it!
Moving on...
The Johari Window was invented by Joseph Luft and Harrington Ingram in the 1950s as a model for mapping personality awareness. By describing yourself from a fixed list of adjectives, then asking your friends and colleagues to describe you from the same list, a grid of overlap and difference can be built up.
I want to know how you'd describe me - pick the five or six words from the list that you think describe me the best.
(You can set up your own Johari Window afterwards, if you like.)
Do it!
Day 2
I'm not gonna lie, the highlights from Day 2 are weak at best. My hangover from drinking to excess Friday night played a great part in keeping me homebound the entire day. Not too mention that I didn't go to bed until 7 AM Saturday morning, putting my wake up time somewhere near 2 PM to begin with.
I made some food when I was able to eat. I watched some films on the tube. Oh, Junebug was interesting. Very slow moving character study about a family in North Carolina who are meeting their newest addition, the eldest son's Chicago based art gallery owner wife. Amy Adams was delightful as they say as the precocious, pregnant girlfriend of the younger son played moodily by that OC kid. I liked it.
After some movie watching, I sat online talking to Philly folks who all appeared to be home bound due to the arrival of a snow storm of epic proportions. It's odd to not see snow when I've dealt with it for so many years. All my chatting ultimately lead me to decide to read and fall asleep before 2 AM. Trying to get my schedule back, waking up a decent hour and all. Day 3 holds more hope now that I'm up at 10 AM and cleaning already. I guess we'll find out.
I made some food when I was able to eat. I watched some films on the tube. Oh, Junebug was interesting. Very slow moving character study about a family in North Carolina who are meeting their newest addition, the eldest son's Chicago based art gallery owner wife. Amy Adams was delightful as they say as the precocious, pregnant girlfriend of the younger son played moodily by that OC kid. I liked it.
After some movie watching, I sat online talking to Philly folks who all appeared to be home bound due to the arrival of a snow storm of epic proportions. It's odd to not see snow when I've dealt with it for so many years. All my chatting ultimately lead me to decide to read and fall asleep before 2 AM. Trying to get my schedule back, waking up a decent hour and all. Day 3 holds more hope now that I'm up at 10 AM and cleaning already. I guess we'll find out.
Saturday, February 11, 2006
Day 1
Okay, so I'm off from work for 4 days. Here's a rundown of how Day 1 went.
Went to Target and bought some crap.
Walked around town and snapped some shots of the local flavor.
Ran into Eric who was riding around in his Nova.
Grabbed some dinner at Bee's Knees. Yummy Falafel and Samosas.
Drank some Vodka tonics until 11 PM.
Went to 80's night for an hour to dance with Sydney and Tena.
Moved over to Firehouse to meet up with Eric and Joolie.
Got shit faced.
Came back to my apartment and was invaded by Sydney and Tena who danced, ate my food and then rolled out.
Drove to IHOP at 6 AM to eat breakfast.
Sleep.
The shots I took of Augusta were added to this set.
Late Night Antics are captured here.
Went to Target and bought some crap.
Walked around town and snapped some shots of the local flavor.
Ran into Eric who was riding around in his Nova.
Grabbed some dinner at Bee's Knees. Yummy Falafel and Samosas.
Drank some Vodka tonics until 11 PM.
Went to 80's night for an hour to dance with Sydney and Tena.
Moved over to Firehouse to meet up with Eric and Joolie.
Got shit faced.
Came back to my apartment and was invaded by Sydney and Tena who danced, ate my food and then rolled out.
Drove to IHOP at 6 AM to eat breakfast.
Sleep.
The shots I took of Augusta were added to this set.
Late Night Antics are captured here.
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
Yeah.
American Idol 5 has this little cowboy dude from Wyoming on and I'm completely enraptured by this kid. He's my American Idol already and it's only the audition process.
Beauty and the Geek 2 is a bust. Although tomorrow night the house hook up happens between Cher and the ringer known as Wes. I am not sure that all those guys are real geeks. Some of them seem kind of normalish.
Beth A is a team captain on the Gauntlet 2 and I am thrilled. If only Syrus pulled out a victory against that annoying prick Derek this week. Later Sy, you will be missed. Can you tell I'm an old school guy or what? Go Timmy!!!
TV is becoming a substitute for human contact for me and I'm not so upset with that prospect. TV can't break my heart, unless my TIVO decides not to tape something I know I fucking scheduled.
TV is safe.
Beauty and the Geek 2 is a bust. Although tomorrow night the house hook up happens between Cher and the ringer known as Wes. I am not sure that all those guys are real geeks. Some of them seem kind of normalish.
Beth A is a team captain on the Gauntlet 2 and I am thrilled. If only Syrus pulled out a victory against that annoying prick Derek this week. Later Sy, you will be missed. Can you tell I'm an old school guy or what? Go Timmy!!!
TV is becoming a substitute for human contact for me and I'm not so upset with that prospect. TV can't break my heart, unless my TIVO decides not to tape something I know I fucking scheduled.
TV is safe.
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Foolish
Of late, I have steered this blog in the direction of pop culture musings and the daily mundane life that I lead and purposely away from heartfelt reflections on my personal life. This decision was pre-meditated and calculated on my part, not because ocassionally I suffer the embarassment of building up a relationship and then allow you to share in it's ultimate death. No, I did not get into detial this time around because I felt that you were tired of my banal and depressing banter and would appreciate a funny SNL clip instead. And, I guess I always knew that whatever was brewing in the personal life would be fleeting and ulimately would end up horrbily.
So, I'll spare myself the ebarassment a little since I didn't rave on here a couple hundred times about how in love I was, but the end result is still the same. I can't seem to figure out how to keep a good woman down I suppose. Not sure on that phrasing, but you get the point I hope.
Here's what I want, it's very plain and simple actually. I want to be worth it for someone. I want her to fight instead of giving up so easily. I want her to consider my emotions when she makes her decisions. For whatever reason, I don't get any of that. And it's unacceptable to me anymore. My one fault in a relationship appears to be that I am too intense with my emotions. Now silly me, if those emotions were rage or anger or violence, I could see the problem. But they aren't. They are true feelings, the kind that allow me to support, devote and care. The worst part about watching the house you are trying to build crumble to the ground, is that I feel like I'm always the only one who fucking cares.
This is not a cry for help or a mandate that I'm done with women. It's simply my one and only mention of the ill-fated, what could have been and never will be, end to all things Katie Pepin Beele. My disappointment in this fact cannot be measured. I'm haunted by many songs during my daily musings, but now all I hear is The Supremes Only Fools Fall In Love on repeat.
So, I'll spare myself the ebarassment a little since I didn't rave on here a couple hundred times about how in love I was, but the end result is still the same. I can't seem to figure out how to keep a good woman down I suppose. Not sure on that phrasing, but you get the point I hope.
Here's what I want, it's very plain and simple actually. I want to be worth it for someone. I want her to fight instead of giving up so easily. I want her to consider my emotions when she makes her decisions. For whatever reason, I don't get any of that. And it's unacceptable to me anymore. My one fault in a relationship appears to be that I am too intense with my emotions. Now silly me, if those emotions were rage or anger or violence, I could see the problem. But they aren't. They are true feelings, the kind that allow me to support, devote and care. The worst part about watching the house you are trying to build crumble to the ground, is that I feel like I'm always the only one who fucking cares.
This is not a cry for help or a mandate that I'm done with women. It's simply my one and only mention of the ill-fated, what could have been and never will be, end to all things Katie Pepin Beele. My disappointment in this fact cannot be measured. I'm haunted by many songs during my daily musings, but now all I hear is The Supremes Only Fools Fall In Love on repeat.
Sunday, February 05, 2006
Friday Night Pictures
Yeah, I ventured out on Friday night to the Firehouse. Saw some people, drank a little. Considering I worked on Saturday, I took it somewhat easy. My point is that I took the camera with me and captured some hijinx on film.
Friday, February 03, 2006
Two More Bits
Have you heard Dream Brother a tribute album to Jeff and Tim Buckley? It's pretty good. Go buy it.
And am I the only person the planet not aware that Zack Braff and Mandy Moore were even a couple? Apparently the recently got engaged to be married. Who knew? I don't mind either all that much, so I guess "congrats" is in order here. So, CONGRATS!
And am I the only person the planet not aware that Zack Braff and Mandy Moore were even a couple? Apparently the recently got engaged to be married. Who knew? I don't mind either all that much, so I guess "congrats" is in order here. So, CONGRATS!
Friday Boredom
Just got in from shopping today. Bought some stuff at Ross, some pillows at Penneys, ran some errands. Anyway, here's some crap I found on the net that I want to share with you all.
This is funny-ish in a very disrespectful towards Jesus way:
Chewy apparently also has a funny blog. (Yes, I'm comparing this blog to mine, a-hole.)
Summer came early here in Augusta, as it's 71 degrees today and I actually was in shorts and a tee. Nice. Who doesn't love Stereophonics, a classic tune and some boobs?
Love Shack? I drive past this house on the market and it's smaller than I thought, but I still think I might buy it. It's fine for my purposes, it's on a cul-de-sac and there is only one neighbor. Not much lawn to care for, a garage with drive way, couple rooms, new everything. Anyway...
This is funny-ish in a very disrespectful towards Jesus way:
Chewy apparently also has a funny blog. (Yes, I'm comparing this blog to mine, a-hole.)
Summer came early here in Augusta, as it's 71 degrees today and I actually was in shorts and a tee. Nice. Who doesn't love Stereophonics, a classic tune and some boobs?
Love Shack? I drive past this house on the market and it's smaller than I thought, but I still think I might buy it. It's fine for my purposes, it's on a cul-de-sac and there is only one neighbor. Not much lawn to care for, a garage with drive way, couple rooms, new everything. Anyway...
Broken Flowers
What is it about Jim Jarmush over the last 20 years that I just don't fucking get. I find his movies incredibly dull and slow, Broken Flowers is no exception. It's listed as a comedy, yet I didn't laugh once. Total waste of talent in the movie. Bill Murray is better than this material, and he's done Garfield's voice for christ's sake, and the rest of the cast is chock full of mature, solid actresses all just mumbling their way through trite dialogue. What really kills me is that Speilberg cranks out War of the Worlds and Munich in 2005 while Jarmush toils for 5 years betweeen snoozers like Dead Man and Ghost Dog The Way of the Samuri. Not all indie filmmakers are genuises, believe that!
One and only highlight for me was seeing full frontal from that little chick on Invasion. The one who looks kind of like Faruza Balk meets Fiona Apple. It's a shocking scene, and rather tittilating as well. But 14 seconds of a bush shot isn't worth 1 hour and 47 minutes of garbage. You've been warned.
One and only highlight for me was seeing full frontal from that little chick on Invasion. The one who looks kind of like Faruza Balk meets Fiona Apple. It's a shocking scene, and rather tittilating as well. But 14 seconds of a bush shot isn't worth 1 hour and 47 minutes of garbage. You've been warned.
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Trim-tastic!
Well, I've switched hairdressers from Joolie to now Sydney who came over tonight for calzone, American Idol and barbering. Syd was a bit tentative and I think the 'do suffers a bit from her lack of skill, but it was free and that's the key. I've got my faux hawk back in effect, so the world is a better place. Joolie I think did a better job in "fading" the sides, but Syd made the hawk part look decent.
Eh, who am I kidding? I don't give a fuck what my hair looks like. Never have.
Eh, who am I kidding? I don't give a fuck what my hair looks like. Never have.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)