So I'm officially 33 now and it's remarkable to me how I don't feel any different than I did the day before I turned 33. Of course what I mean by that is that I felt like shit before and after this historic event. My peeps at work really came through yesterday and gave me presents, cards, desk decorations...it was all so festive and it took my mind off the fact that I was at work on my birthday. I got off at Midnight and plowed through the family calls with their salutations and best wishes, came home and did what I normally do after work. Eat some dinner at 1 AM and watch television until 4 in the morning. Today I took an extra long while to get a move on, not because I'm old, just because I was robbed of sleep the night before by some loud mouth whores who were in my house for some unknown reason and because it's shitty out. What's the rush? I'm not going to do anything, so why get out of bed at all. I'm so sick of the same old shit. I'm not even interested in going to see a movie and I love going to the movies.
My live in brother thinks I'm depressed, but in reality I'm just bored with my life, my friends, my alternatives. I don't see the value in "celebrating" another year on the calendar by getting drunk. People are astounded by this kind of behavior, as if that is what you MUST do to prove to the world you have survived another year. "Slug down 33 shots and you'll feel better about getting old, old man!" Not for me. I'm sick of bars, hangovers, drunk fights with people. It's as if people are incapable of doing anything of merit without it involving alcohol anymore. Don't get me wrong, I'm not anti-booze or straightedge or anything, I'm just trying to remember the last time anyone in my life suggested doing anything that didn't involve drinking.
I'm content not doing anything for my birthday this year. I even sucessfully called off the parental dogs with their usual birthday dinner and cake extravaganza this year. The turnout to family birthday parties of those over 31 are pathetic anyway. Last year I think 4 people showed up, why beat a dead horse? My 30th was off the chains, but since then, it's really just been a going through the motions sort of event. All my sisters are at the age where they tell you they want to spend time with you, but they really don't. They are teenagers. It makes them feel good to extend the courtesy of "next week we should hang out" knowing that they would rather be in church than spend time with their 33 year old brother. It's a dance of sorts. I don't blame them for this type of behavior, I know it's because they are young and that they no longer need me to procure alcohol for them. I still love them.
I'm a little old for birthday parties, I guess that's the bottom line. But by not having a party, people think you must be trying to avoid the inevitable, that you are getting old. I'm okay with getting old. I made it a good long time before I ever "grew up." Some would say that I'm still not fully grown.
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it's your live in brother....Danny K....I will help you remeber the last time someone did something with you that didn't involved alcohol....October 26 , 2004 David Sedaris at Kimmel my birthday gift to you.....I had fun, I hope you did too...maybe you have finally grown up....after all these years no more parties, no more hangovers, no more captain morgan table throwing contests, or drunk dialing, my fortay, no more dancing to Black eyed peas in our living room....I know that social drinking is trivial....but that is how people create memories, good and bad.....it can be organically fun sometimes....maybe you have outgrown us all....but just remember people care and make the effort..atleast that is important...you have grown into a different person, and that is ok.....whatever makes you happy....it just sucks sometimes bc you used to be so much fun to hangout with.....it seems now to be so forced and that your so disinterested that people feel like there wasting your time to even extend an invite.....you, in all your, wiseness , told me when i was younger "life is what you make of it.".....so yeah going to some shit bar may not be the coolest thing but your friends are there, people that care about you, and you make the best of it...you make your own fun. ....that is one of the best lessons I ever learned from you.....I am not trying to changr your mind...I just try to understand and be there for you...even if I don't help matters and call you depressed....I just want you to have fun wheter that be a movie, midget porn on the internet, myspace.com, afternoon naps with Jameson or making fun of me for being incredibly good looking.....and I'll end with this...I know your time here hasn't been the greatest....But I am going to miss living with you....
I recall being asked to go to Bob and Barbara's Drag Queen central to meet up with your bandmates for beers on 10/26/04...but maybe my memory is going with my old age?
Every book must end.
Happy Birthday!!!
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