The Catch Up

Guy #1: Ah man, last night was a tough one!
Guy #2: Another one of your famous drunken nights?
Guy #1: No. Another one of my not-so-famous sober nights.

Coinciding with an absolutely critical push at work to make holiday deadlines was a disaster of maximum proportions. Under my watch, I had an employee rob the company blind. Now I would argue that I'm not completely responsible for this event taking place, proper controls were not in place and people who steal are going to find a way, but since I was in charge I have this horrible, nagging feeling that I could do an amazing job the next 5 years and always be labeled as the guy who let this shit happen. To make matters worse, the employee in question was someone I considered an actual friend. It's like getting a nice, hard punch in the stomach. However, I have rebounded from this nightmare, appear to be making it through the holiday season without any further problems and I've assembled a crack team of people to run my gift card operation. Of course, last week and this week are the 2 weeks out of the year that I have to work 10-12 hours a day, so I'm really run down and looking forward to my jaunt home for the holidays. I was so exhausted from the week I just had that I took a nap last night from 9 PM to 10:30 PM, attempted to drink a beer or two and make the scene at some local bars, but I was just too out of it. I did swear off 80's night based on prior experiences, so I guess things have a way of working out.

The reality of my not having any fun last night is more or less tied to something else entirely than feeling exhausted. It seems as though I have made the push into working on a full fledge relationship with a young lady. And this lady friend of mine is out of town this weekend, leaving me lonely and longing. I'm certain I more or less went through the motions to take my mind off of not seeing her. I'm hooked. What can I say? Now I'm not sure that many will approve of my choice in this area of my life, considering what I've written about her in the past, but I'm tyring to make something happen with Punk Rock Baby. I've always wanted to be the type of person who looks past people's flaws and tries to give them the benefit of the doubt, and with Jamie I have the opportunity to do just that. I'm not at the point where I feel the need to explain away every nuance of what I'm feeling and shit, but I know that when I'm with her, when I talk to her, I feel love and it feels fucking good. So I'm going with it. Fuck the naysayers. I've spent so much time wasting away, hoping for something to happen that's not going to happen that it's refreshing to put effort into something that is give and take. I've begun to focus on her and let my desire towards other women fall to the wayside, which I'm sure is a clear indication that I'm falling for this chick.

Jack Johnson : It's always better when we're together.

Yeah, Jamie even has me becoming a fan of Jack Johnson which has caused Brother Dan to say that he was "lighting himself on fire" when I informed him of this very fact. It's been a long time since I felt this way. I love the idea of falling in love and being connected with another person. And although the skeptic in me is always waiting to be hurt, I've decided that I'm going to enjoy the fucking ride this time. If I crash and burn it won't be the first time, so I have coping skills. But what if it's not going to unravel? What if it works out? What if it's the greatest relationship of my life? Guess I'll find out.