Another fucking layout change Skip? You must be joking.
No I'm not. Apparently I wiped out the ability for my faithful readers to leave me comments when I converted over to the former design and since I'm HTML retarded, all I could do is pick another, simpler layout that allowed me to restore commenting. So my logo is unfortunately a thing of the past. Not many folks knew it was a picture of me as a kid anyway. And it had a creepy kiddie porn vibe to it I think. So bye-bye logo.
Ok. So now that I gave the people back their voice, I'll be expecting you to contribute.
Monday, October 31, 2005
Sunday, October 30, 2005
Breathe
A furious 48 hour visit from the gang has done exactly what I expected it to do. I'm achey, hungover-ish, happy and sad all at once. We didn't do much besides drink, but I can't recall any other time where we did anything but just that.
Friday: Walk down Broad Street, a trek that takes all of 10 minutes, and then we hit up some lunch and bought supplies in the grocery store. And by supplies I mean beer. Drink, drink, drink...wine soaked Razor phone, Brother Dan kills 2 bottles of wine and requires lengthy nap, join forces with Syd, Tena and Liz for an ill fated Haunted House visit, Philly crew adorns Poison Scooter shirts to become Poison Scooter Army, minimal dancing at Soul Bar until I lose my cool yet again, press on to Firehouse and show the kids how the other half live. Met up with Eric who invites us to his house on Saturday for BBQ.
Saturday: Amass around 1 PM at my abode, meet up with Joolie, hit up Fresh Market for BBQ ingredients, roll to Eric's house and proceed to cook food for 20 on the world's smallest and slowest cooking grill, drink, drink, drink, freeze a little as the onset of night approaches, come back into town for naps, drink, drink, drink, see Tena and Syd in costumes when the stop by to treat me, roll to 1102 for a spell, then close down Pizza Joint with slices at 2 AM.
It's was brief, but much needed. I spent a lot of time with my sister Malia who stayed at my place and got to experience the woman that she has become. Brother Dan and his lady Rose was also nice to see, I'm happy that he is in love and he seems more than happy about being in love. And of course, Kevin and Noele are like the brother and sister I want to sleep with most. Kevin was coerced into becoming a Poison Scooter model because he's a fucking stud. And Noele, well Noele is just perfect, always smiling and being the sweetest chick I know. It's only been a few hours, but I miss these fuckers big time already.
Visitors
BBQ
Costume Craziness
Friday: Walk down Broad Street, a trek that takes all of 10 minutes, and then we hit up some lunch and bought supplies in the grocery store. And by supplies I mean beer. Drink, drink, drink...wine soaked Razor phone, Brother Dan kills 2 bottles of wine and requires lengthy nap, join forces with Syd, Tena and Liz for an ill fated Haunted House visit, Philly crew adorns Poison Scooter shirts to become Poison Scooter Army, minimal dancing at Soul Bar until I lose my cool yet again, press on to Firehouse and show the kids how the other half live. Met up with Eric who invites us to his house on Saturday for BBQ.
Saturday: Amass around 1 PM at my abode, meet up with Joolie, hit up Fresh Market for BBQ ingredients, roll to Eric's house and proceed to cook food for 20 on the world's smallest and slowest cooking grill, drink, drink, drink, freeze a little as the onset of night approaches, come back into town for naps, drink, drink, drink, see Tena and Syd in costumes when the stop by to treat me, roll to 1102 for a spell, then close down Pizza Joint with slices at 2 AM.
It's was brief, but much needed. I spent a lot of time with my sister Malia who stayed at my place and got to experience the woman that she has become. Brother Dan and his lady Rose was also nice to see, I'm happy that he is in love and he seems more than happy about being in love. And of course, Kevin and Noele are like the brother and sister I want to sleep with most. Kevin was coerced into becoming a Poison Scooter model because he's a fucking stud. And Noele, well Noele is just perfect, always smiling and being the sweetest chick I know. It's only been a few hours, but I miss these fuckers big time already.
Visitors
BBQ
Costume Craziness
Thursday, October 27, 2005
False Start
I had high hopes today of putting together some stellar Halloween costume, but no dice. I lost my inspiration as soon as I hit the costume store. I was thinking Leatherface this year, but my fucking glasses always get in the way. I took the easy way out and bought some freaky teeth at Target.
In anticipation of visitors I had to go out and get some odds and ends like wine glasses today hence the Target visit. I was also considering replacing my Sony Cybershot camera that busted a few months ago, but ultimately said "fuck it" on that issue as well. I guess I'm just not in the mood to spend money. I did manage to get the necessary supplies for this weekend however.
1. Halloween candy and stupid Pumpkin plastic candy container.
2. Toilet paper.
3. Bottled water.
Considering I had procured the boat load of wine a few days ago and that my legions are bringing with them I'm sure some sort of alcohol, the above pretty much completes the puzzle. I'm very ready for a "LOST WEEKEND" and hope that my old body doesn't quit on me somewhere in the middle.
The plan is starting to take shape, spend Friday night doing the rounds at the local watering holes. Saturday afternoon could be spent at a BBQ at Joolie's boo's house, and then we have the Haunted House on Reynolds Street. Ah, who cares? We'll figure it out I'm sure.
In anticipation of visitors I had to go out and get some odds and ends like wine glasses today hence the Target visit. I was also considering replacing my Sony Cybershot camera that busted a few months ago, but ultimately said "fuck it" on that issue as well. I guess I'm just not in the mood to spend money. I did manage to get the necessary supplies for this weekend however.
1. Halloween candy and stupid Pumpkin plastic candy container.
2. Toilet paper.
3. Bottled water.
Considering I had procured the boat load of wine a few days ago and that my legions are bringing with them I'm sure some sort of alcohol, the above pretty much completes the puzzle. I'm very ready for a "LOST WEEKEND" and hope that my old body doesn't quit on me somewhere in the middle.
The plan is starting to take shape, spend Friday night doing the rounds at the local watering holes. Saturday afternoon could be spent at a BBQ at Joolie's boo's house, and then we have the Haunted House on Reynolds Street. Ah, who cares? We'll figure it out I'm sure.
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Almost
I'm slowly recovering from my recent onset of Ebola virus or whatever the hell it is. God damn it can get cold here. It's in the 30s tonight. WTF? I thought Georgia was like 100 degrees all year long? I just have one more day to get through at work this week and then I'm home free for a nice 4 day weekend. And this weekend I have my first taste of visitors. I guess I better think of something for them to do while they visit?
Well, as expected my van full of people has dwindled considerably. I've been avoiding visiting people for many years now, so I'm not shocked in the least. I'm just happy that someone, anyone is still bothering to make the trek. I'll be happy with the group that is intact at this moment (assuming more people don't bail out by Thursday..) which consists of Brother Dan, his lady Rose, Kevin and Noele (aka the hottest couple in the world) and my sister Malia. In lieu of actually planning out anything for while they are here, I've just bought copious amounts of wine. I figured I can get them all drunk and they won't want to bother with seeing anything, or rather realizing that there is nothing to see here in Augusta.
To be fair there is quite a bit happening here this weekend. Friday night is the 10th anniversary party for the Soul Bar, my local dancing and swilling spot. And Saturday night is Disco Hell O Ween there as well. And of course, Bloodfest 12 is happening all day Saturday. Hmm, maybe Bloodfest isn't exactly the kind of event I should take people to? In any case, I don't think I care what we do since I just want to hang out and get drunk.
Well, as expected my van full of people has dwindled considerably. I've been avoiding visiting people for many years now, so I'm not shocked in the least. I'm just happy that someone, anyone is still bothering to make the trek. I'll be happy with the group that is intact at this moment (assuming more people don't bail out by Thursday..) which consists of Brother Dan, his lady Rose, Kevin and Noele (aka the hottest couple in the world) and my sister Malia. In lieu of actually planning out anything for while they are here, I've just bought copious amounts of wine. I figured I can get them all drunk and they won't want to bother with seeing anything, or rather realizing that there is nothing to see here in Augusta.
To be fair there is quite a bit happening here this weekend. Friday night is the 10th anniversary party for the Soul Bar, my local dancing and swilling spot. And Saturday night is Disco Hell O Ween there as well. And of course, Bloodfest 12 is happening all day Saturday. Hmm, maybe Bloodfest isn't exactly the kind of event I should take people to? In any case, I don't think I care what we do since I just want to hang out and get drunk.
Annie Duke
Hottest mother of 5 ever. Best woman poker player. Just found out she listens to the White Stripes in her headphones while playing in poker tournaments. Man, I want her. Now.
Monday, October 24, 2005
A change in the weather...
Fall is upon us here in Georgia finally. The days are still a sunny 75, but the nights have brought a chill on that has made me sick. I've been steadily rocking my ceiling fans all the while and realized today when I woke up to a scratchy, sore throat that the constant spinning may have made me get sick. So it's Tylenol Sore Throat and bad television for me today. Having worked all weekend, I feel extremely unguilty about calling out today.
The sick does give me some time to think about all the stuff that is going on with me right now. I'm digesting the concept of Joolie seriously dating someone, some would even argue that I'm accepting it rather well. I would love to find fault in the guy, but I just can't. Although I'm scared that this is the situation I've been dreading since I moved here, being slowly pushed out of Joolie's life for someone who is better for her than I am, part of me is willing to have this experience just to see if Joolie is the great friend that I portray her to be all the time. I'm caustioulsy optimistic that we have developed a pretty tight friendship that will survive many ups and downs. I have been down this road before in my life and managed to fuck it up royally on more than one ocassion. Relishing the opportunity to make this time different is something that I want to be strong enough to embrace.
In focusing on my own plight, I am forced to accept the fact that I'm crazy about someone myself. It's not as easy for me as it is for Joolie, but I am more confident in my actions. More so than I have been. I feel that at this time in my life, I am more equipped than ever to deal with any rejection that might head my way. But I'm extremely hopeful/cocky that I will not be rejected if I just continually prove myself. What I think separates me from most guys is that I think about the small things, I outwardly show concern and passion for those that I'm interested in. My only concern is that I'm wasting my time on someone who is too immature. It's funny how the heart works. You can't really control the feelings you possess. Am I setting myself up for the big hurt? Let's hope not. But here's the thing...
Usually I would overthink shit and sabotage something before it begins based on my lack of self esteem or confidence. I've done this over and over again the last few years. Not anymore. I have decided that I am in a sink or swim situation, especially if Joolie finds love and I'm left to my own devices. I'm not a kid anymore. I'm not looking to play games. I want to find happiness. And if that means I have to hit some speed bumps along the way, then I'll do it for the good of the fight. I just need to stay the course, keep chipping away and make her mine.
The sick does give me some time to think about all the stuff that is going on with me right now. I'm digesting the concept of Joolie seriously dating someone, some would even argue that I'm accepting it rather well. I would love to find fault in the guy, but I just can't. Although I'm scared that this is the situation I've been dreading since I moved here, being slowly pushed out of Joolie's life for someone who is better for her than I am, part of me is willing to have this experience just to see if Joolie is the great friend that I portray her to be all the time. I'm caustioulsy optimistic that we have developed a pretty tight friendship that will survive many ups and downs. I have been down this road before in my life and managed to fuck it up royally on more than one ocassion. Relishing the opportunity to make this time different is something that I want to be strong enough to embrace.
In focusing on my own plight, I am forced to accept the fact that I'm crazy about someone myself. It's not as easy for me as it is for Joolie, but I am more confident in my actions. More so than I have been. I feel that at this time in my life, I am more equipped than ever to deal with any rejection that might head my way. But I'm extremely hopeful/cocky that I will not be rejected if I just continually prove myself. What I think separates me from most guys is that I think about the small things, I outwardly show concern and passion for those that I'm interested in. My only concern is that I'm wasting my time on someone who is too immature. It's funny how the heart works. You can't really control the feelings you possess. Am I setting myself up for the big hurt? Let's hope not. But here's the thing...
Usually I would overthink shit and sabotage something before it begins based on my lack of self esteem or confidence. I've done this over and over again the last few years. Not anymore. I have decided that I am in a sink or swim situation, especially if Joolie finds love and I'm left to my own devices. I'm not a kid anymore. I'm not looking to play games. I want to find happiness. And if that means I have to hit some speed bumps along the way, then I'll do it for the good of the fight. I just need to stay the course, keep chipping away and make her mine.
Saturday, October 22, 2005
It starts innocently enough...
Dinner with Joolie's parents/grandparents was enjoyable. Fine food, wine and good conversation capped off by a little more conversation with the parents back at Joolie's crib. They are kind of what I expected, extremely nice Lancaster County people. Rick was very personable which I wasn't expecting and Adele was funny in a very non-intentional sort of way. Seeing Joolie be "mothered" was a delightful time and I'm very happy I was asked to join them for dinner.
After a few hours of conversation, Joolie was clawing the walls eager to go out and meet up with a fella. After a quick stop at my house for some more alcohol, we make our way to this local Punk Rock hangout called Sector 7G. Imagine if you will a place where everyone appears to be about 16 and me. Besides feeling incredibly old and out of place, I was not feeling exactly great from eating restaurant food. Fast forward to a few beers later and I kind of forgot about my stomach and enjoyed myself for a change. I was able to be around Joolie and her new man friend (a really nice guy actually) without getting all psycho-ish and protective. Maybe the fact that I was spending copious amounts of time with Punk Rock Junkie helped? Yep, the girl re-emerged and turned my night upside down as she is prone to do. It's pretty much an alcohol fueled blur, one that haunted my entire work day today. 4 hours sleep and a 9 hour day at the office has put me down tonight. It's 8:30 PM and I feel like I could sleep for a week.
After a few hours of conversation, Joolie was clawing the walls eager to go out and meet up with a fella. After a quick stop at my house for some more alcohol, we make our way to this local Punk Rock hangout called Sector 7G. Imagine if you will a place where everyone appears to be about 16 and me. Besides feeling incredibly old and out of place, I was not feeling exactly great from eating restaurant food. Fast forward to a few beers later and I kind of forgot about my stomach and enjoyed myself for a change. I was able to be around Joolie and her new man friend (a really nice guy actually) without getting all psycho-ish and protective. Maybe the fact that I was spending copious amounts of time with Punk Rock Junkie helped? Yep, the girl re-emerged and turned my night upside down as she is prone to do. It's pretty much an alcohol fueled blur, one that haunted my entire work day today. 4 hours sleep and a 9 hour day at the office has put me down tonight. It's 8:30 PM and I feel like I could sleep for a week.
Friday, October 21, 2005
Can't Sleep
It's kind of late, not that I have work tomorrow or anything, but I do have to go to work in the AM since I have a key in my pocket that is needed to unlock a very necessary cabinet. Today was pretty laid back and relaxing, minus the vacuuming at Joolie's apartment which I feared was going to cause me scoliosis. With Joolie's folks making their way to visit, her and I took a quick run to the local screen printer in the AM before they arrived. Our goal was to establish a much needed local relationship with a facility that can handle our Poison Scooter needs. I'm pleased to report that the visit to Kathie's T's was a success in that we got a decent quote and some very important questions answered. I'm looking to place a significant order on Monday barring any set backs for some very amazing shirts. The buzz around our Here Comes Trouble design is encouraging...
After our meeting with Mr. Kathie (who could be a pervy religious freak based on the conversation we had with him) we moseyed over to Big K to grab some cleaning supplies for Joolie's semi-annual back bathroom scrub down. I'm kind of thankful her parents are here, forcing her to clean that awful bathroom that her cat has turned into a giant litter box. The stank is intense in that joint and a good scrubbing seemed to have done the job. Since her folks called with an earlier than expected ETA on their arrival, I stepped it up and helped clean up her pad to give the impression that she is living the "clean" life I suppose. Which brings me to the amazingly short and broken handled vacuum that was fit for a hunchback. Mental note: Joolie needs a vacuum cleaner for her birthday. (just kidding)
I split the scene before the big arrival and spent the rest of the afternoon watching my "shows" on DVR. And fulfilling orders and folding shirts for PS. Looking back, I guess I didn't really accomplish anything of value today. And that may be why I'm so awake now....
Oh. I did buy a CD from ITunes. Does that count as doing something? This Bird Has Flown is the 40th Anniversary tribute album of the Beatles' Rubber Soul and it's quite good. There are a lot of artists on it that I enjoy, such as Sufjan Stevens, Ted Leo, Ben Lee, Mindy Smith, Low, The Donnas, Rhett Miller and Ben Kweller. And since it's the Beatles, I know I like the songs. Couldn't go wrong for $9.99.
Tomorrow I am considering seeing a movie which is something I haven't done in ages. Not sure what it'll be, I guess I'll surprise myself. And then I'm going to partake for a bit in the pumpkin carving ceremony that is apparently taking place in my foyer tomorrow evening. And then? Well, I'm not sure....but I'm going to do something dammit. And I'm sure you'll hear all about it.
After our meeting with Mr. Kathie (who could be a pervy religious freak based on the conversation we had with him) we moseyed over to Big K to grab some cleaning supplies for Joolie's semi-annual back bathroom scrub down. I'm kind of thankful her parents are here, forcing her to clean that awful bathroom that her cat has turned into a giant litter box. The stank is intense in that joint and a good scrubbing seemed to have done the job. Since her folks called with an earlier than expected ETA on their arrival, I stepped it up and helped clean up her pad to give the impression that she is living the "clean" life I suppose. Which brings me to the amazingly short and broken handled vacuum that was fit for a hunchback. Mental note: Joolie needs a vacuum cleaner for her birthday. (just kidding)
I split the scene before the big arrival and spent the rest of the afternoon watching my "shows" on DVR. And fulfilling orders and folding shirts for PS. Looking back, I guess I didn't really accomplish anything of value today. And that may be why I'm so awake now....
Oh. I did buy a CD from ITunes. Does that count as doing something? This Bird Has Flown is the 40th Anniversary tribute album of the Beatles' Rubber Soul and it's quite good. There are a lot of artists on it that I enjoy, such as Sufjan Stevens, Ted Leo, Ben Lee, Mindy Smith, Low, The Donnas, Rhett Miller and Ben Kweller. And since it's the Beatles, I know I like the songs. Couldn't go wrong for $9.99.
Tomorrow I am considering seeing a movie which is something I haven't done in ages. Not sure what it'll be, I guess I'll surprise myself. And then I'm going to partake for a bit in the pumpkin carving ceremony that is apparently taking place in my foyer tomorrow evening. And then? Well, I'm not sure....but I'm going to do something dammit. And I'm sure you'll hear all about it.
Thursday, October 20, 2005
The Beast from the Sea
I'm sorry, it's tough to take a Hurricane named Wilma seriously. I mean c'mon now.
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
Visitors
Not sure what it is about October, but it appears that everyone I know that relocated to Georgia is expecting a visit in the next week or so, including me. Yeah! Joolie's folks and grandparents are in town tomorrow for a long weekend. Having been a resident here for a couple months I have no idea what old folks are going to do here for that long. But having her folks come will make Joolie happy, even if she is mad that she is missing out on a show in Atlanta and spending time with her new man friend. I'm looking forward to meeting her parents, I am fascinated by "where" people come from. And I usually get along famously with my friend's parents. I'm like Skippy Handleman in that way.
Next up, Sydney's Mom aka the coolest witch I know is coming back to visit again on Monday. I'm really happy for Syd to have her Mom come because I know she needs to have her here for a little while just to tell her it's going to be alright. I try my best to convince her that she'll survive in Augusta, but we all need to hear it from family on occasion.
And then it's my turn. Next week I have Brother Dan and my sister Malia coming in with a bunch of other friends to bring this town to it's knees. My boy Kevin is leading the charge and is super excited to come down, so I'm really anxious to see familiar faces and forget about all the crap that I think about all the time. We will just drink and be merry for the weekend.
Next up, Sydney's Mom aka the coolest witch I know is coming back to visit again on Monday. I'm really happy for Syd to have her Mom come because I know she needs to have her here for a little while just to tell her it's going to be alright. I try my best to convince her that she'll survive in Augusta, but we all need to hear it from family on occasion.
And then it's my turn. Next week I have Brother Dan and my sister Malia coming in with a bunch of other friends to bring this town to it's knees. My boy Kevin is leading the charge and is super excited to come down, so I'm really anxious to see familiar faces and forget about all the crap that I think about all the time. We will just drink and be merry for the weekend.
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Her
I've made a decision that she will be mine.
I know what I have to offer her and I'm not going to relent until she realizes that I'm good enough to be with her. I've spent too much time sitting back and doing nothing. It's my turn to go all out. You have to go big or go home.
What's the worst that could happen?
Well, she could crush me and my hopes for starters. And then make it extremely difficult to get up in the morning and face another day. The reality is that I feel like that most of the time anyway, without her help.
I'm determined to play things differently this time around. No more being a pushover. No more dancing around the topic. I'm going to sweep her off her feet. Make her realize that there is nothing more in the world I want than to make her laugh, smile, feel safe.
If I fail, then at least I went out swinging. Right?
If this doesn't work out, I know I have Joolie to comfort me when I'm crushed.
I know what I have to offer her and I'm not going to relent until she realizes that I'm good enough to be with her. I've spent too much time sitting back and doing nothing. It's my turn to go all out. You have to go big or go home.
What's the worst that could happen?
Well, she could crush me and my hopes for starters. And then make it extremely difficult to get up in the morning and face another day. The reality is that I feel like that most of the time anyway, without her help.
I'm determined to play things differently this time around. No more being a pushover. No more dancing around the topic. I'm going to sweep her off her feet. Make her realize that there is nothing more in the world I want than to make her laugh, smile, feel safe.
If I fail, then at least I went out swinging. Right?
If this doesn't work out, I know I have Joolie to comfort me when I'm crushed.
Monday, October 17, 2005
Ch-Ch-Changes
New design for the blog. Obviously. I like it.
Lots of Poison Scooter work today. Stickers arrvived, so now we get to plaster the city of Augusta with them. Bunch of orders came in, mainly from friends and family, which is cool. Finalizing two new designs and getting them off to the printer this week.
I'm off this Thursday and Friday instead of Saturday and Sunday which will be odd. Guess I'll see what this town has to offer on a Thursday night for a change of pace.
Lots of Poison Scooter work today. Stickers arrvived, so now we get to plaster the city of Augusta with them. Bunch of orders came in, mainly from friends and family, which is cool. Finalizing two new designs and getting them off to the printer this week.
I'm off this Thursday and Friday instead of Saturday and Sunday which will be odd. Guess I'll see what this town has to offer on a Thursday night for a change of pace.
Saturday, October 15, 2005
Together Alone
Well, well, well...
80's night will probably become a phrase I use to describe evenings of intense emotions and situations from this point forward. I took last month's night off and went to Atlanta, so it's been 60 days since my last experience and I had forgotten what this event does to me. It's like a werewolf and the full moon. I somehow always seem to go crazy on this one particular night. The rest of the month is as normal as can be.
In any case, I have come to the conclusion that by spending so much time with Joolie that we are both in dire need of getting laid. Let me clarify before you all start reading into this comment. My connection to Joolie is unlike any relationship I've had with a female; and I try extremely hard all the time not to fuck it up. The way I'm molded, I have serious issues with jealousy and self esteem...and to suppress them takes a huge amount of effort on my part. We get along, at least on the surface we do. Underneath it all I sometimes think that she feels a little smothered by me, and rightly so. I fail to make friends and therefore I rely heavily on her for my social outlets here in Augusta. Last night I was slighted by her and reacted like a fucking 2 year old when I showed up at her house a bit tipsy. The rest of the evening we spent drinking and cavorting like two peas in a pod, but I think it is becoming quite clear that neither of us is very happy here even when we are doing fun things together. This is my opinion mind you, and I've been known to be quite wrong on many, many things. I recall at some point, while blindingly drunk, deciding to have some type of heart to heart with her about who know's what and this is usually where I fuck up most of my relationships with people. Alcohol impairs judgment. It's on the label for fuck's sake.
The way I see it, the more time I spend with her and the more I tune out the rest of the world, the more I will intensify my feelings for her, zone in on making her my #1 priority and most likely scare her to the point that she will have to quit her job or frantically move back to PA. Now this would suck royally because I can't imagine my life right now without her in it. Maybe this is the gist of what we discussed last night? Although it may have come out differently from my slurring mouth. Essentially I need to find someone to formulate a relationship with, or fuck if you will, to reduce the pressure I feel like I am putting on Joolie. Or she needs to find some guy to make her happy here, and slowly push me off to the side and help me accept my role in her life as "really great friend." The way things are now, we both seem to be what I call Together Alone a lot. We spend lots of time in our own heads, thinking and worrying about so many aspects of our life and the uncertainty and unpredictability of what lies ahead. It's great that we can rely on each other when we need a lift...again, I'm making assumptions here that Joolie feels the same way in that she appreciates that I care for her. But at the same time we never seem to just both be enjoying ourselves at the same time for very long. I went through some severe funk, as you may recall, and Joolie helped me through it all in her very unique, non-judgmental and reserved way. Now that she is funking out a bit, I feel obliged to return the favor and be a cheerleader, which I'm not certain is working. All I want is for her to be happy here, and for us to be the best friends we can be. Not fucking that up is going to be a real challenge for me, but I just hope she can overlook my oaflike behavior and see that everything I do and say comes from a good place.
Adding to an already odd evening, a girl that I basically cut out of my life a few weeks back charmed me into overlooking her faults and we appear to be working on being friends again. The same reasons I decided to eliminate her from my world are still there (the worthless boyfriend, the shallow relationships with men who view her only as a sex object and the puppy dog face that she uses to get people to give in to her) but since I'm trying to make things work here, I'm not going to focus so much on how fucked up I think she is and just keep up my guard a little.
I have thought long and hard about what went wrong between us and how we arrived at a place where I decided it was necessary to stop speaking to each other. What I came up with is that leaving behind a boyfriend in Philadelphia puts her in a bad place from time to time. I think this chick is basically missing the physical part of her relationship and attempts to gain some of the illusion of it by being touchy feely with me and perhaps I mistake that for a connection that is deeper than it is. I came to the conclusion that in her defense, I cannot imagine what it would be like to make this type of move in my life and have someone that I love be back in my old town and not here with me. We started the evening not having said more than 10 words to each other in weeks and ended it lying in bed discussing all the things that we have been through in the past couple of weeks we weren't speaking. Time heals all wounds I suppose. It's incredibly comforting to have someone just lay there in the dark and talk to me. Even if we are both just filling a void.
The bottom line I suppose it that I prefer Together Alone to plain old fucking useless Alone. I'm back to being grateful that I have some people in my life here that I think are amazing. The women I find myself constantly dancing, drinking, laughing, playing and working with are very special people and I need to remember that instead of always looking for a reason to be a sour puss or the wounded emo bitch. Things could be a lot worse, I could be a hermit with zero friends or blind or unfunny.
80's night will probably become a phrase I use to describe evenings of intense emotions and situations from this point forward. I took last month's night off and went to Atlanta, so it's been 60 days since my last experience and I had forgotten what this event does to me. It's like a werewolf and the full moon. I somehow always seem to go crazy on this one particular night. The rest of the month is as normal as can be.
In any case, I have come to the conclusion that by spending so much time with Joolie that we are both in dire need of getting laid. Let me clarify before you all start reading into this comment. My connection to Joolie is unlike any relationship I've had with a female; and I try extremely hard all the time not to fuck it up. The way I'm molded, I have serious issues with jealousy and self esteem...and to suppress them takes a huge amount of effort on my part. We get along, at least on the surface we do. Underneath it all I sometimes think that she feels a little smothered by me, and rightly so. I fail to make friends and therefore I rely heavily on her for my social outlets here in Augusta. Last night I was slighted by her and reacted like a fucking 2 year old when I showed up at her house a bit tipsy. The rest of the evening we spent drinking and cavorting like two peas in a pod, but I think it is becoming quite clear that neither of us is very happy here even when we are doing fun things together. This is my opinion mind you, and I've been known to be quite wrong on many, many things. I recall at some point, while blindingly drunk, deciding to have some type of heart to heart with her about who know's what and this is usually where I fuck up most of my relationships with people. Alcohol impairs judgment. It's on the label for fuck's sake.
The way I see it, the more time I spend with her and the more I tune out the rest of the world, the more I will intensify my feelings for her, zone in on making her my #1 priority and most likely scare her to the point that she will have to quit her job or frantically move back to PA. Now this would suck royally because I can't imagine my life right now without her in it. Maybe this is the gist of what we discussed last night? Although it may have come out differently from my slurring mouth. Essentially I need to find someone to formulate a relationship with, or fuck if you will, to reduce the pressure I feel like I am putting on Joolie. Or she needs to find some guy to make her happy here, and slowly push me off to the side and help me accept my role in her life as "really great friend." The way things are now, we both seem to be what I call Together Alone a lot. We spend lots of time in our own heads, thinking and worrying about so many aspects of our life and the uncertainty and unpredictability of what lies ahead. It's great that we can rely on each other when we need a lift...again, I'm making assumptions here that Joolie feels the same way in that she appreciates that I care for her. But at the same time we never seem to just both be enjoying ourselves at the same time for very long. I went through some severe funk, as you may recall, and Joolie helped me through it all in her very unique, non-judgmental and reserved way. Now that she is funking out a bit, I feel obliged to return the favor and be a cheerleader, which I'm not certain is working. All I want is for her to be happy here, and for us to be the best friends we can be. Not fucking that up is going to be a real challenge for me, but I just hope she can overlook my oaflike behavior and see that everything I do and say comes from a good place.
Adding to an already odd evening, a girl that I basically cut out of my life a few weeks back charmed me into overlooking her faults and we appear to be working on being friends again. The same reasons I decided to eliminate her from my world are still there (the worthless boyfriend, the shallow relationships with men who view her only as a sex object and the puppy dog face that she uses to get people to give in to her) but since I'm trying to make things work here, I'm not going to focus so much on how fucked up I think she is and just keep up my guard a little.
I have thought long and hard about what went wrong between us and how we arrived at a place where I decided it was necessary to stop speaking to each other. What I came up with is that leaving behind a boyfriend in Philadelphia puts her in a bad place from time to time. I think this chick is basically missing the physical part of her relationship and attempts to gain some of the illusion of it by being touchy feely with me and perhaps I mistake that for a connection that is deeper than it is. I came to the conclusion that in her defense, I cannot imagine what it would be like to make this type of move in my life and have someone that I love be back in my old town and not here with me. We started the evening not having said more than 10 words to each other in weeks and ended it lying in bed discussing all the things that we have been through in the past couple of weeks we weren't speaking. Time heals all wounds I suppose. It's incredibly comforting to have someone just lay there in the dark and talk to me. Even if we are both just filling a void.
The bottom line I suppose it that I prefer Together Alone to plain old fucking useless Alone. I'm back to being grateful that I have some people in my life here that I think are amazing. The women I find myself constantly dancing, drinking, laughing, playing and working with are very special people and I need to remember that instead of always looking for a reason to be a sour puss or the wounded emo bitch. Things could be a lot worse, I could be a hermit with zero friends or blind or unfunny.
Friday, October 14, 2005
New and Improved Skip Still Thriving
Well I'm sure some of you miss the wine and cheese that you grown accustomed to from me, but this new attitude thing is sticking. I'm preoccupied a lot of the time with work demands and then focusing my energies on the tee shirt thing, so that doesn't leave me much time for bitching and moaning. I would like to comment on a few interesting factoids just for kicks this evening.
1. Did you know that you don't have to get your car inspected in Georgia?
Amazing. I went to go change over my registration to GA and $38 later I walked out with a license plate and a registration document. I don't have to pay nothing until my birthday in 2006. Huh? There has to be a catch I'm overlooking? $20 for a license and $38 for a plate....and that's it? Word.
2. Nothing is open on the Lord's day here.
Sundays are so fucking pathetic in this part of the country that I'm surprised the suicide rate isn't higher. I guess the folks here just procreate on that day instead.
3. Miller High Life is the champagne of beers.
Seriously.
4. I'm mega concerned about Elizabethtown sucking royal ass.
The reviews are all over the place on Cameron Crowe's latest flick. I'm sure the soundtrack is boss, but I'm worried.
5. My hair is getting long.
I've been really gun shy about walking into the local hair butchery and taking my chances down here, so I've forgone actually worrying about the mop. Now I'm starting to look like Prefontaine and shit. Only bigger. While interviewing a lady today at work she mentioned that she used to sell hair products in this area for a living and I asked her opinion on where to go to get a trusting cut. To be continued.
6. The work schedule thing is no better than what it was in Philly.
Smoke and mirrors. All the promises of normalcy when I moved are out the window. We are down two Supervisors and haven't hired anyone in 3 months to replace the first guy who split. I'm officially back to working random shifts and days (including weekends) and hating every minute of it. It's like a big see saw as well. I had to get some accommodation on some days I need of later this month for a visit from my peeps and in the process fucked up Joolie's days off since we essentially at 2 members of a 5 person team. Something has got to give.
7. Response to Poison Scooter is tepid at best.
I was counting on my friends, family and loyal readership to come through and buck up when the shirt thing launched and I've been underwhelmed at the response. C'est le vie I suppose. I'm going to press on regardless of the support I am receiving because it's fun, Joolie is an amazing talent and I'm certain we can make something of this on a larger scale. George Michael says "You Gotta Have Faith" and I'm thinking he's right.
8. Am I really on the verge of turning 34?
I have conversations at work all the time about husbands, wives, kids, pregnancy, home ownership, etc. and they continue to sound like concepts I'll never grasp. I'm such a fucking kid. I swear. I dress like a 16 year old and act like 20 year old. When am I going to grow up?
9. 80's night is tonight.
I always look forward to 80's night for the nostalgia aspect. The music comforts me. The dancing makes me forget about everything that is wrong with me or my life. I get in the zone and just forget about all the bullshit. God Bless 80's Night.
10. My cooking skills have deteriorated since I've moved.
I had the chance to make dinner for Joolie for the first time to celebrate our shirts arriving and I stumbled. I over cooked the mash 'taters and the corn on the cob like a fucking rookie. I was beginning to think that Joolie thought I lied about being able bodied in the kitchen. She ate it up like a good soldier, but I'm sure she was thinking "this ain't no Mickey D's."
1. Did you know that you don't have to get your car inspected in Georgia?
Amazing. I went to go change over my registration to GA and $38 later I walked out with a license plate and a registration document. I don't have to pay nothing until my birthday in 2006. Huh? There has to be a catch I'm overlooking? $20 for a license and $38 for a plate....and that's it? Word.
2. Nothing is open on the Lord's day here.
Sundays are so fucking pathetic in this part of the country that I'm surprised the suicide rate isn't higher. I guess the folks here just procreate on that day instead.
3. Miller High Life is the champagne of beers.
Seriously.
4. I'm mega concerned about Elizabethtown sucking royal ass.
The reviews are all over the place on Cameron Crowe's latest flick. I'm sure the soundtrack is boss, but I'm worried.
5. My hair is getting long.
I've been really gun shy about walking into the local hair butchery and taking my chances down here, so I've forgone actually worrying about the mop. Now I'm starting to look like Prefontaine and shit. Only bigger. While interviewing a lady today at work she mentioned that she used to sell hair products in this area for a living and I asked her opinion on where to go to get a trusting cut. To be continued.
6. The work schedule thing is no better than what it was in Philly.
Smoke and mirrors. All the promises of normalcy when I moved are out the window. We are down two Supervisors and haven't hired anyone in 3 months to replace the first guy who split. I'm officially back to working random shifts and days (including weekends) and hating every minute of it. It's like a big see saw as well. I had to get some accommodation on some days I need of later this month for a visit from my peeps and in the process fucked up Joolie's days off since we essentially at 2 members of a 5 person team. Something has got to give.
7. Response to Poison Scooter is tepid at best.
I was counting on my friends, family and loyal readership to come through and buck up when the shirt thing launched and I've been underwhelmed at the response. C'est le vie I suppose. I'm going to press on regardless of the support I am receiving because it's fun, Joolie is an amazing talent and I'm certain we can make something of this on a larger scale. George Michael says "You Gotta Have Faith" and I'm thinking he's right.
8. Am I really on the verge of turning 34?
I have conversations at work all the time about husbands, wives, kids, pregnancy, home ownership, etc. and they continue to sound like concepts I'll never grasp. I'm such a fucking kid. I swear. I dress like a 16 year old and act like 20 year old. When am I going to grow up?
9. 80's night is tonight.
I always look forward to 80's night for the nostalgia aspect. The music comforts me. The dancing makes me forget about everything that is wrong with me or my life. I get in the zone and just forget about all the bullshit. God Bless 80's Night.
10. My cooking skills have deteriorated since I've moved.
I had the chance to make dinner for Joolie for the first time to celebrate our shirts arriving and I stumbled. I over cooked the mash 'taters and the corn on the cob like a fucking rookie. I was beginning to think that Joolie thought I lied about being able bodied in the kitchen. She ate it up like a good soldier, but I'm sure she was thinking "this ain't no Mickey D's."
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
Put Up or Shut Up
The time has come. The shirts are in. If you want one, email me @ poisonscooter@gmail with your size and I'll invoice you. $15 gets you the shirt below on your doorstep in under a week. Paypal does the work.
Yum.
The lovely Joolie Poison modeling the freshest gear from Poison Scooter.
Yum.
The lovely Joolie Poison modeling the freshest gear from Poison Scooter.
Insane or Smart?
Who remembers Harvey Danger? I suppose they would be considered a one hit wonder of sorts from the mid-90's.
Paranoia, paranoia, they're coming to get me...
Anyway, apparently they are still around and making what appears to be decent music. I actually liked there stuff back in the day, so it was easy for me to give the new stuff have a chance. What's interesting about them is that they are self releasing their new album right to the internet for free. Huh? Sure, they are putting out in stores for sale and all, but you can go here and get it via direct download or bit torrent right now if you want. For nothing.
Why you ask? Well, they go into detail here about their reasoning, some of which I completely agree with. Having been on a major record label in the music industry in my past I can tell you first hand that the artist sees little money from record sales anyway, so I say go for it. The way bands make money is shows, through ticket sales and merchandise. How do you get people to your show? Get them to hear your shit and like it enough to come. Simple.
Paranoia, paranoia, they're coming to get me...
Anyway, apparently they are still around and making what appears to be decent music. I actually liked there stuff back in the day, so it was easy for me to give the new stuff have a chance. What's interesting about them is that they are self releasing their new album right to the internet for free. Huh? Sure, they are putting out in stores for sale and all, but you can go here and get it via direct download or bit torrent right now if you want. For nothing.
Why you ask? Well, they go into detail here about their reasoning, some of which I completely agree with. Having been on a major record label in the music industry in my past I can tell you first hand that the artist sees little money from record sales anyway, so I say go for it. The way bands make money is shows, through ticket sales and merchandise. How do you get people to your show? Get them to hear your shit and like it enough to come. Simple.
FedEx Rocks?
Our first batch of tee shirts have arrived for Poison Scooter and I'm ready to start getting the word out there. Getting them was a slight ordeal, but I'm shocked to say that I was overwhelmed by the customer service of FedEx. First of all, the company that made our shirts left a vital digit off my mailing address, so the driver who orignally had the package called me on his cell phone and gave me a head's up that he couldn't figure out my address. Furthermore, he provided me with his cell phone number to call him back when I got the message. Rather than disturb this guy, I called FedEx customer service without a tracking number and they were able to locate the package in question based on me answering a couple of easy questions. They then told me that would re-route the package to the correct address. Easy enough. Well, the new delivery date conflicted with work, so the new driver again called me and provided his cell phone number for me to call him back when I got the message. Again, rather than bother the driver I called customer service and again they located my package with no tracking number as easy as pie. I asked to pick up the box today at the terminal rather than wait around for a driver and they said that was fine and provided me the location of the facility holding my package. This morning the terminal holding the package called me to confirm that I was coming by to grab the box and I indicated I was planning on it. I was completely shocked that I was at a shipping and recieving facility not a pick up location for customers and the people there helped me locate my package which was neatly tucked off to the side for me to come get it. At this point I'm thinking, man FedEx is going out of it's way to help me....that's cool as hell. Then I get home and check my voicemail and it's a guy apologizing for "FedEx's mistake" in not being able to deliver the package, a courtesy call to make sure I got the package at the facility. Huh? What company does this? Proactively calling customers and taking responsibility for mistakes that they didn't even make. Unheard of. The bottom line is that FedEx totally rocks.
Tuesday Night Drunk
Nothing like getting tipsy on a Tuesday night. I decided that I wasn't going to waste a day off from work by sitting in and doing nothing, so I ventured out alone tonight. Spent a couple hours being creepy guy at the bar until I got Joolie to come by after work and join me for a beer. Drank a little more than I bargained for, but managed to meet a couple decent guys that Joolie has befriended here. I told myself I was going to be less judgmental of people in an effort to make friends, and I think I did that tonight.
I am slightly concerned about how many "dudes" Joolie knows in this town already, but deep down I don't care. There is just something about her that makes me love her unconditionally. It's not like she's my girlfriend and I'm constantly meeting guys she has hooked up with. However, since I do think she is amazing and possibly the most incredible person I have ever met, I can't help but wish that there were less instances of her being in a bar where there are 10 patrons and she has kissed half of them.
I'm probably out of line even talking about this tonight because I'm drunk and that is the worst time to start writing shit down. I am trying really hard to be someone who cares, but doesn't care too much. You know? Even mentioning this shit tonight makes me seem like I care too much. And that's scary. And I'll most likely have to explain it down the line...
I am slightly concerned about how many "dudes" Joolie knows in this town already, but deep down I don't care. There is just something about her that makes me love her unconditionally. It's not like she's my girlfriend and I'm constantly meeting guys she has hooked up with. However, since I do think she is amazing and possibly the most incredible person I have ever met, I can't help but wish that there were less instances of her being in a bar where there are 10 patrons and she has kissed half of them.
I'm probably out of line even talking about this tonight because I'm drunk and that is the worst time to start writing shit down. I am trying really hard to be someone who cares, but doesn't care too much. You know? Even mentioning this shit tonight makes me seem like I care too much. And that's scary. And I'll most likely have to explain it down the line...
Monday, October 10, 2005
Piss Off
So I bought this doormat from work that says Piss Off for like 7 bucks. I like it, although it comes off as slightly unfriendly I suspect to my neighbors. Oh well. And for some reason I thought I needed a floating shelf for my living room. That was until I realized that I have no studs in any of the walls on which to mount this shit. Plaster city I guess. But the piece de resistance is my pickup truck wall art that is over my toilet adorning the master bathroom. White trash. Spending money makes me feel good. I have no idea why.
I went to Target yesterday before watching the Eagles get destroyed. Before I knew it I spent 80 bucks in like 20 minutes. I bought silly Halloween shit, a frame for this piece of art I purchased, a dust buster, bottled water, and on, and on, and on. I'm a spending machine. So much for saving money when I move to Georgia. Thank goodness when I take money out of an ATM I usually last about 2 weeks on that one withdrawal.
I went to Target yesterday before watching the Eagles get destroyed. Before I knew it I spent 80 bucks in like 20 minutes. I bought silly Halloween shit, a frame for this piece of art I purchased, a dust buster, bottled water, and on, and on, and on. I'm a spending machine. So much for saving money when I move to Georgia. Thank goodness when I take money out of an ATM I usually last about 2 weeks on that one withdrawal.
Saturday, October 08, 2005
I'm Old
When I drink these days, I need like a week to recover. I swear. Last night I had a bunch of Jack and Coke after I finished my Rockstar and Vodka and then put down a vodka/tonic at Bees Knees. Met up with Joolie and the rest of the crew there before heading to a packed and sweaty Soul Bar for dancing. There I had some Stellas and then Joolie and I rolled to Firehouse where I put back a few Pasbts. This concoction completely fucked up my gullet. I'm convinced that I'm allergic to PBR. I crashed last night at 3 AM, got up at 11 and had breakfast with Joolie as we watched Breaking Bonaduce and then I went back to sleep @ 3 PM and got back up at 7 PM still feeling like poo. There goes Saturday. Oh well, I'm going to watch Amityville Horror and pretend that my shits are solid. It's called denial.
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