What's Worse?

Would you rather be a Columbian Drug Mule or an albino?

I watched Maria Full of Grace late last night and boy was it good. It had the feel of a documentary almost, it was inimate and involving. I particularly liked the realistic nature in which the writer/director explored the concept of a drug mule, especially the realism concerning how the drugs are smuggled. Very gritty shit. Made me think about how I'm happy I don't need to turn to something like being a mule to survive.

I also bought a Smoothie in town yesterday and was assisted by a man who was in his late 30's and albino. I thought about how his life must be so different than mine just because of how he looks. A kid I work with said he used to work at the smoothie place in question and knew the guy. Apparently he is a total Dungeons and Dragons guy, lives for managing the smoothie place and has zero "real" friends. This confirmed my suspicion that being an albino must suck.

Maybe I should eat dinner....

People really know how to spend money. It's odd working in a catalogue/website call center this time of year. Yesterday we took something like 6500 calls, probably 3500 were for orders placed over the phone. It's nuts.

I'm trying to remain positive and upbeat because there ain't no sense in being upset about work. It's going to be busy and ocassionally suck, but oh well. It's a living.

XAMS shopping is plugging along nicely. We picked our household pollyanna last night and I had some luck with brainstorming on what people I know would like. It's kind of fun buying things for people...spending money sucks, but the process of picking things out can be fun. It's time consuming though. I've been on every inch of Amazon the last couple days and I'm still struggling in the little kid department. How do I know what a 5 year old girl wants? I don't even know what a 21 year old girl wants. I know what a 21 year old doesn't want....an over 30, porky boss staring at their tits.

merry fucking xmas
Originally uploaded by skipscorpio.

Why I Hate Raccoons

1. This big fucker keeps getting into our trash besides the house like there's pussy in them thar cans. And this week I was responsible for taking the cans to the curb for trash removal tomorrow morning. So I just spent the last 20 minutes shoveling up wet trash from all over the place and getting all nice and pretty for the trash truck men. It was wet and nasty, like a crack whore's box and now I stink.

2. That long car ride back from Conneaut Lake, PA when I was 12 years old and my aunt Barb and uncle Sam decided they wanted to take a raccoon as a pet back to Philly without a cage. (After all Uncle Tom practically house broke 'em) I spent a grueling 9 hours wedged into the space between the back of the driver's seat and the bottom of the back seat covered by a blanket fending off a wild fucking racoon that would eventually have to be shot for "getting out of line" with a neighbor kid or some shit a few years later. Did I mention that the other factors that contributed to this ride being the most miserable of my life were my screaming 2 year old cousin Todd who was riddled with the flu and the fact that I was recently bitten by a bat and suffering from the effects of rabies. It's a long story...

Getting the XMAS show on the road...

December, as a month, really just seems like a build up to one day and then shortly after, we are in a new year. The undertaking of the holidays can be consuming at times, with so many things to worry about and the inevitable money issues that always seem to crop up around this time of year. I usually am pretty well planned out when it comes to attacking XMAS like the beast that it is.

Yesterday I contributed to the last XMAS at the Ridge by buying a tinsel tree from work. The 40% discount made the purchase of such an item easier to swallow. And I loathe real trees. I think it's kind of selfish to kill a tree just to hang decorations on it. So my tree looks kind of sad, but I love it. It's blue and shiney and slender. It will get the job done, despite looking a little out of place in our living/dining area which looks like the Grizwalds decorated this year.

Phase 2 of the holiday season kick off is sending out your XMAS cards which I laborously licked, stuffed, wrote, signed, stamped and sealed today. Going out in the mail Monday so that most of them get to the recipient in plenty of time to reciprocate the sentiment. (You reading this??? Yes, you!)

I have been working on my XMAS list for a few weeks and can already claim a couple of small shopping victories prior to December 1. The only piece of the puzzle missing at this point is the Ridge pollyanna which seems to have hit an impass. I'm looking to keep it in the family, since last year's included a couple guys who have all but become invisible to these parts. Since the 5 of us have been in the house a few times this week and we haven't picked yet, I'm kind of wondering if this think is even going to happen. Assuming it will shortly, I have narrowed my list this year down to a very managable 25 people including the homefront pollyanna. My siblings are still testing out this new fangled anti-Pollyanna thing that was put into effect last year which I'm not sure I actually like. I'm not sure anyone likes it, but we are hardly ever in the same room to pick names that we basically have no choice. So everyone buys a generic gift and we blindly pick one from the pile and enjoy. I may still be bitter from last year when I became the proud owner of a back massager that was exchanged for random purchases at Target before january 1. What's tragic in all of this is that between house mates and siblings, I have about 12-15 people that would appreciate an Urban Outfitters purchase, but I will only have 2 of these people to buy for and my discount becomes useless in the family one. And God knows I will have an impossible time finding something at UO for my Grandparents. "look grandpa, it's a belt buckle and a bottle opener! Sorry. I forgot you wore only elastic waisted pants these days."

In any case, I guess you could say that the holiday season does make me feel hopeful and happy. I love giving gifts to people. I love seeing people that I don't often see. I love the idea of drinking a beer on a cold winter evening with my dear friends. I even think I like seeing my family on XMAS. Maybe I'm having an allergic reaction to the envelope glue on my XMAS cards?

December Has Blown In

So today was my first day of parking at a new garage in town. I signed up to pay for a parking spot monthly since I refuse to take the fucking bus anymore. SEPTA wants to raise fares, cut off weekend service, etc. and they can blow me before I'll give them another dime. Plus I do pay quite a bit monthly to drive my precious Echo, so I figured why the hell not?

Anyway, I squared away all the necessary shit with this woman at my company and when I pressed her for my first day protocol at the garage and she told me the following, "pull in and tell them you are a new monthly" and that was it, I kind of sensed I was in trouble.

Naturally I get there today and they have no clue who I am. The guy was cool and told me that I could park there, fill out some exception form and I should be cool. I was shocked that he was so chill about it. It wasn't until I picked my car up at 12:15 AM that I realized why he was so cool. He wasn't fucking there and didn't care. The dude working at night didn't have a fucking clue about anything. He almost didn't want to give me my fucking car. It's ridiculous, but would you expect any less at this point? Tomorrow is another day.

The good news from today is that I got a picture taken with Santa. My gal pal Joolie from work was gracious enough to come with me and we got matching pictures taken. They look rad. It's the kick off of employee appreciation at work and they had some dude dress up for a couple of hours for employees to get pics with the fat man in the red suit. Sadly though, I was bigger than the guy playing Santa. Thankfully I have no self esteem left to lose.

I have to get a crown fitting tomorrow morning, so I absolutely need to get up earlier than I am used to these days. It's a tooth thing, not a royalty thing. My schedule has me so out of wack anymore I can barely tell what day it is. On Tuesday, I was sound asleep at 11:50 AM and my boss called asking if I was coming to work since I was supposed to be there at 11 AM. I'm not sure if I'm coming or going anymore. Maybe it's old age? Maybe my night owl tendencies?

In other news, the whole lactose intolerant thing was a fallacy. I have been taking these stupid Diary Relief pills before I eat, but I'm still shitting like a cancer patient. I have to call my doctor tomorrow and make that physical appointment. Life was so much easier when you had a parent to do this shit for you. I think this is why people have kids....to make them do all the shit they don't want to do. "Get me a glass of water! and Paint the house!"

Clearly I'm rambling. And I'm tired. And my back hurts. And I need to get laid.

Female Trouble

John Walters is fucking nuts. I have seen some of his work over the years, Pink Flamingos, Hairspray, Pecker....but I never saw Female Trouble. That is until now. Tonight on IFC. Oh my God. What a nutty fucking movie.

Sideways

It's funny how I recently commented on this very blog about my love for talky movies when they speak to me in some capacity. Sideways was without a doubt a fine film, but the essence of the lead character Miles played by the phenominal Paul Giamatti struck a nerve with me. It was almost surreal to me to be watching a character to whom I relate entirely to. It's truly a borderline frightening experience. A man who is snobbish about wine (insert film or music), depressed, unlucky in love, surrounded by friends who make the things that are hardest seem easiest. I was awe struck by how incredibily real the characters were in this film. You will hear a ton about how great the performances are and how strong the movie is, but I can honestly say that for me it was a movie that will forever encapsulate my mood at this point in my life. It's defining for me. And I should also mention that there are at least 2 scenes that almost brought me to tears they were just that funny. Well worth the price of admission. Indeed.

Holiday Shopping Bonanza

Last night was single handedly the worst night in my career at UO. At one point we had 30 people waiting on hold to place orders with 1 of the 7 people I had working. Of these 30 folks, some were actually holding for up to 20 minutes. It was relentless. I have a feeling something big is happening under foot and it's making me edgy. Did we not plan correctly for the onslaught that is headed our way in December? Are we not managing the situation adequately as a group? I wound up having to call the director at home and he was livid about the situation. And I was the trigger man. Yuck. I'm glad I'm off today, that's all I can say.

What did you do tonight that was so much better?

Win A Date With Tad Hamilton. I watched this tonight on Cinemax. The whole thing. I came to the following conclusions:

1. Topher Grace is very much the Anthony Michael Hall of this generation.
2. Topher Grace might actually pull off a transition to becoming a real actor (unlike AMH who need about 15 years of downtime before he was able to reinvent himself.)
3. Kate Bosworth is really pretty.
4. Any idiot can write a movie script.
5. I'm a total loser.

So I'm now fascinated with Torrents. My friend Filipino Freddie P aka Poptart showed me the magic of Azureus and the power of torrents. I'm not sure what the hell it is, or exactly how it works, but I am downloading music like a mother fucker as a result of it. In the past day and a half I have download the entire catalogues of Death Cab for Cutie and Rilo Kiley, Velvet Revolver, Neutral Milk Hotel, David Cross, Chevelle's new jawn, absolutely tons of shit. I'm listening to the new Eliot Smith CD now that I downloaded while Tad Hamilton was on.

It's a shame about Mr. Smith. I really liked him. It's weird when someone you admire and revere dies and then you hear them sing. I remember when I first learned Jeff Buckley died and I listened to Grace in bed in the dark. I was hard not to think of him drowning and get sad. I think I might be having a moment like that now with this Eliot CD. Talented artist are few and far between and they always seem destined for the grave. It's like their talent weighs them down until they can't go on anymore.

Onto brighter topics, I think I may have discovered that I am lactose intolerant! I know that doesn't sound like good news, but at least I can treat it. I bought some over the counter dairy aid shit and so far it appears to work. I'm going to continue to monitor what my body does with/without the aid to see if I'm correct. This could be the answer to my prayers. (Fingers crossed.)

Ice Cube

Where is the fucking snow? Is it just me or did the temperature drop like 40 degrees in the past 12 hours? I'm literally frozen solid. My hands are frostbite as I try to type this post. Perhaps I should turn the heat on? Then again, I have work @ 3 PM so why bother.

Turkey

Thanksgiving is today. Yippie! I really don't think Thanksgiving is that good of a holiday. I do like eating, but otherwise it's quite lame. Terrible football games are always on because somehow the NFL thinks that Dallas and Detroit are one day going to be competetive. My Grandmother's house is a 3 bedroom row home and we try to squeeze in over 40 people at this point which is just ridiculous....basically the living room is taken over by the males and the kitchen/dining room is full of the women and the basement is all kids, up to and including my generation. Usually I come late, leave early and head to the cinema with my siblings which is our tradition on Turkey Day. And did I mention it's raining? My hope for next year is that I find me a nice girl that has a very close knit family about 4 hours from Philly and we have to go there for Thanksgiving. (I need a change of scenary....for fuck's sake.)

Gobble, Gobble

Before Sunset

I love movies that are talky as long as the talk is interesting or speaks to me in some sense. I just finished watching Before Sunset, the sequel to Before Sunrise starring Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy and it's definitely talky...but I loved it. Rick Linklater is a big fan of making films that are heavy on the dialogue, like Slacker and Waking Life, and Ethan has dabbled in making films like Tape and Chealsea Walls, so these guys know what they are doing. They understand the importance of the dialogue and the flawlessness of the acting. You don't have much else, so you better make what is said as strong as possible. Some of the sentitments in Before Sunset hit some incredibly close to home, it's kind of intense. I remember when I was getting out of college, I felt the movie Kicking and Screaming had the same kind of effect on me. I felt like the movie was meant just for me. Anyway, I guess the point of this late night entry is to say....rent this shit!

Sidenote: I think Ethan Hawke is probably the best actor to come out of my generation. (River Phoenix would have been a shoe in had he made it.) I'm putting Johnny Depp a little ahead of my generation just to clarify. But look at Ethan's resume, it's really strong.

Dead Poet's Society, A Midnight Clear, Waterland, Alive, Floundering, Before Sunrise, Reality Bites, Gattaca, Great Expectations, Hamlet, Tape, Training Day and Before Sunset.

Depsite the fact that he is beginning to look more and more like shit (heroin?), he has an intensity and naturalistic approach to his acting that mesmerizes me. Call it a man-crush or something. I've just always liked him.

Airbag Blues

Car crashes suck. Aside from the damage to the car and the nonsense you have to deal with insurance wise, there is an actual chance of injury or death.

A couple weeks ago my sister Kiki was hit by some dude and totally fucked up her ride. On Friday night, another sister of mine (TJ) was in an accident where the ex love of my life was behind the wheel. This one was a shit storm as the car is totaled and everyone was kind of beat up physically.

Everyone is fine, but I'm skittish with my sisters behind the wheel these days. I'm not sure with cell phones, hormones and music blasting that they are actually paying attention to what they are doing. I'm not suggesting that either of these accidents were the fault of anyone, I'm just saying is all.

Since I waited until I was 25 to learn how to drive, obviously I think that you have to develop a sense of maturity to understand that you are in control of an automobile that can easily become a killing machine before you should be afforded a license to drive. I guess since I can't force my sisters to take the bus like I did, I'll just have to hold out hope that these minor scrapes have at least taught them a lesson and that they will act more responsible behind the wheel.

Music Makes the World Move

I played my stereo today for the first time in weeks. That shit cranks. Being part of the IPOD nation, I rarely find use for the goddamn component system that has probably cost me a $1,000 over the years with add on, speakers and what not. And now that I finally own a car with a built in dash CD player, I usually reserve my CD listening for the drive time. Anyway, Jimmy Eats World sounds good blarring....

What I really wanted to discuss is the newest U2 album that "drops" today in a Best Buy near you. I'm that guy. The one who laughs at idiot who still shell out mucho dinero to go see the Rolling Stones play the VET or Robert Plant sans Jimmy Paige just cos he was in Led Zepplin 400 years ago. I grew up with these artists being "classic rock" bands, so I don't have the connection to them that some fans have. But with U2 continuing to put out records, I wonder if one day I will be the guy who pays $300 to see U2 play Lincoln Financial Field? I'm genuinely excited about the new U2 record, Uno, Dos, Tres, Catorce! I recall reading that they were going to do a whirl wind US tour in the Spring and my first thought was "I must go and support U2!" Scary. But I have very fond memories of U2, old and relatively new ones.

1989: Senior year of high school, fully immersed in spending every waking hour watching MTV, I came across a video for With or Without You. I thought it was the greatest song I had ever heard. I spent many nights going to sleep in my parent's basement drifting off to sleep singing along to every track on Joshua Tree dreaming of what college would be like.

My Birthday, 1991: I'm in my second year of college and Achtung Baby is released. I'm caught up in the U2 explosion for the next six months. The one and only time I sleep out to buy concert tickets is to see this tour come to the Spectrum, a show that I almost blow off completely when the girl I was in love with at the time lost 2 of our foursomes tickets in a drain on Packer Avenue. I spent the show being marveled by just how amazing U2 are as live performers and consoling a crying girl who had to tell 2 of her friends that she lost their tickets moments before the show.

Spring 2001: I'm in Amsterdam with friends, high on hash and watching Dutch Music Television in my room at the Bicycle Hotel, a dive hostel kind of place and on comes the video for Stuck In A Moment and You Can't Get Out of it. Maybe it was the hash, but man I cried like a baby for no reason.

I can listen to U2 anytime, anywhere and be happy. They continue to put out quality music and if I do become that 50 year old guy lining up to see them in Vegas, so be it. I'm a fucking hypocrite. Sue me.

P.S. I used my Tower Records giftcard from my work peeps to buy the new jawn today and so far, so good.

My New Mantra

Check out the Skip reference in this cartoon.

Thanks to Goonland.com

False Start

Okay, so admittedly I know nothing about buying a home. I perhaps jumped the gun by saying that Brother Mike had gone ahead and sucessfully procured some real estate in this fair city of ours. There is a technicality referred to as a "home inspection" that took place on Friday and revealed that this place isn't all that it was cracked up to be. Structural damage doesn't sound promising.

So we begin again. The search presses on. Atlantis where are you?

Worst Musical Purchase Ever.

dragnet
Originally uploaded by skipscorpio.

Battle For PA?

Eagles ran over the Deadskins today, but the Steelers also won again. Could this year be the year where it's all Pennsylvania in the Superbowl?

The Day After

So I'm officially 33 now and it's remarkable to me how I don't feel any different than I did the day before I turned 33. Of course what I mean by that is that I felt like shit before and after this historic event. My peeps at work really came through yesterday and gave me presents, cards, desk decorations...it was all so festive and it took my mind off the fact that I was at work on my birthday. I got off at Midnight and plowed through the family calls with their salutations and best wishes, came home and did what I normally do after work. Eat some dinner at 1 AM and watch television until 4 in the morning. Today I took an extra long while to get a move on, not because I'm old, just because I was robbed of sleep the night before by some loud mouth whores who were in my house for some unknown reason and because it's shitty out. What's the rush? I'm not going to do anything, so why get out of bed at all. I'm so sick of the same old shit. I'm not even interested in going to see a movie and I love going to the movies.

My live in brother thinks I'm depressed, but in reality I'm just bored with my life, my friends, my alternatives. I don't see the value in "celebrating" another year on the calendar by getting drunk. People are astounded by this kind of behavior, as if that is what you MUST do to prove to the world you have survived another year. "Slug down 33 shots and you'll feel better about getting old, old man!" Not for me. I'm sick of bars, hangovers, drunk fights with people. It's as if people are incapable of doing anything of merit without it involving alcohol anymore. Don't get me wrong, I'm not anti-booze or straightedge or anything, I'm just trying to remember the last time anyone in my life suggested doing anything that didn't involve drinking.

I'm content not doing anything for my birthday this year. I even sucessfully called off the parental dogs with their usual birthday dinner and cake extravaganza this year. The turnout to family birthday parties of those over 31 are pathetic anyway. Last year I think 4 people showed up, why beat a dead horse? My 30th was off the chains, but since then, it's really just been a going through the motions sort of event. All my sisters are at the age where they tell you they want to spend time with you, but they really don't. They are teenagers. It makes them feel good to extend the courtesy of "next week we should hang out" knowing that they would rather be in church than spend time with their 33 year old brother. It's a dance of sorts. I don't blame them for this type of behavior, I know it's because they are young and that they no longer need me to procure alcohol for them. I still love them.

I'm a little old for birthday parties, I guess that's the bottom line. But by not having a party, people think you must be trying to avoid the inevitable, that you are getting old. I'm okay with getting old. I made it a good long time before I ever "grew up." Some would say that I'm still not fully grown.

Day of Birth

When I look in the mirror I don't see 33. I guess that's a good thing?

XMAS is Coming...

The new 20th anniversary version of Do They Know It's Christmas Time is yummy. Look who's on this track!

Chris Martin, Sir Paul McCartney (bass guitar), Bob Geldof. Midge Ure, Radiohead, Robbie Williams. Dido, Bono, The Thrills, Joss Stone, Keane, The Darkness. Dizzee Rascal, Ms Dynamite, Snow Patrol, Sugababes, Travis, Danny Goffey (Supergrass, drums), Morcheeba, Ash, Damon Albarn (serving tea)

Thanks for the link Stereogum!

A House, A Home

Brother Mike has done it! A house was bid upon and procured in a matter of minutes. I haven't seen it, but it sounds enticing...minus the paneling. 6 Bedrooms of varying sizes, 2 full baths, ample parking, a pool and it's apparently not the sketchiest neighborhood in all of Phily. Barring any complications, I will be taking up residence with him in January of 2005. And thus begin another chapter in my life...

Beautiful Girl

There's a gal in my life that I'm so fucking attracted to it hurts. I don't see her as often as I would like, but when I do....man...I just want to walk up to her and kiss her. I can honestly say that I haven't felt this way about someone in a long time...and part of me wants to supress all desire because lurking around the corner is our old friend REJECTION. I'm not afraid of rejection, just tired of it. When you have been rejected as much as I have, you manage to grow accustomed to it. It still stings, but you survive. Maybe I just create reasons to NOT do anything about my lust. I'm a complicated person, a contradiction of sorts. I'm a leader and very outgoing, but also horribly shy and lonely sometimes. I don't think being with someone will make me happy, but at the same time I wonder if it will?

Sofitel

If you are ever in the city and need to find a quality place to drop a deuce, let me recommend the Sofitel on the corner of 17th and Sansom. Now I know what you are thinking, "Isn't that near where you work Skip?" Yes it is. And that's why I can safely say it's the cat's meow of facilities.

My workplace bathroom is sorry. It's basically a small closet oddly situated in the middle of a hallway that connects the elevators to the main section of the floor. You got a toilet, a small baby sized sink and that's it. Considering that I am on the bigger side (more to love ladies) and quite a dumper, I have taken up using the bathroom across the street at Sofitel. Pathetic, perhaps. However, don't judge until you see what Sofitel has to offer for yourself. The towels that you use to dry your hands are like fine linen, better than my fucking bath towel at home. And the shitters have doors on them. I mean actual doors. Floor to ceiling doors. With locks. It's like a little office or something. Amazing.

You have to be a little James Bond to get in the hotel and to the 2nd floor without drawing much attention to yourself, but it can be done. I stick out like a sore thumb with my horrible dress and incredible girth, yet no one has said a word to me about wandering the halls over there.

Until I'm told otherwise, I know where I'll be sitting pretty.

Bunch of Movie Reviews

The Clearing - 3 out of 5 stars

Robert Redford, Helen Mirren and Willem Dafoe are all very strong actors, too bad this story line had nowhere to go. It's essentially a hostage thriller, but it plays longer than it is. The time line keeps moving back and forth confusing the viewer and the ending is just anti-climatic. Watch it for the acting, that's about it.

Intermission - 4 out of 5 stars

Irish black comedy featuring a ton of Irish talent. Colm Meany (the dad in the Commitments), Colin Farrell and Cillian Murphy (28 Days Later lead) are the main three men in this interwoven story about love, money and fame. The story lines about a girl with a mustache and a little kid who throws rocks at moving cars are so wrong that they are so right. There's jerking off, rough sex, kidnapping, bank robbery, drinking and brown sauce sandwiches everywhere in this little Irish community. I didn't laugh out loud, but I was interested all the way through this one.

Naughty Little Nymphos 7 - Got the job done.

Wasted and Ready

Irony. I am addicted to Propel by Gatorade. What's ironic about it is that it's marketed as "fitness water" and I clearly am not their target audience. But damn that shit is tasty.

My weekend off is coming to a close and it wasn't the usual lame affair, although it wasn't exactly a rollercoaster of fun. I think working until Midnight on Fridays messes up my whole vibe. I spent the better part of Saturday dealing with housing issues with brother Mike. We found a house that we liked, put the ball in motion, filled out paperwork and pulled out again before the ink was dry. This time it wasn't crack house related, more economical. In any case, I don't want to watch my brother sign away his life on a house that just isn't right for him. But the dude is under mad pressure, some of it placed on himself by himself. More to the point, I got tied up in this nonsense instead of doing anything of "value" such as seeing Sideways or buying some new slacks. I guess I could have gone and done that today, but instead I just wasted another day off away...

After Rock and Bowl I got back home @ 1:30 AM and finished Beautiful Girls with a couple roommates who were finishing up a bottle of the Goose. Didn't exactly crash right away and as a result didn't really get a move on today until well after 1 PM. Today was perfect for getting things done as the Eagles weren't on to distract me....

So then what's my excuse for doing ZILCH today? Don't know. I am doing wash now. That's progress right? I finished my column on Movie Soundtracks although I'm not entirely happy with it. I drank Propel. Alright...I'm reaching. In any case, it was nice to be off two days in a row.

Rock and Bowl

Considering the music playing at the bowling alley, it was more like Pop and Bowl, but it was a good ole time nonetheless. Tonight I braved Jersey and headed to a work related birthday party that took place at a bowling alley. And not just any bowling alley, the fucking largest bowling alley I have ever seen. This thing had like 100 lanes of action, and it was all dark and there were disco lights. Totally rad.

In my foursome, I came in 2nd in the first match and was leading in round 2 when our hour of fun was up. (Shame.) I was thankful that my bowels complied (with some medicinal coaxing) to allow me to have a little fun in life. It was cool hanging with people that I usually only see in the office. Practically half my team showed up to this event...

I will say that bowling to O-Town or Luther Vandross can be demanding. But Dancing Queen is the perfect bowling song. You just want to strap on roller skates and boogie when that shit cranks up.

All in all. Crunk time. Tena the birthday girl is like the coolest chick in the world, so I wouldn't have missed it for the world.

Feeling Funky

I spent much of today in a bit of a funk. Might have been the 8 AM wake up call from my brother calling off the dogs on househunting today or it might have been the drive to Temple when I woke up finally at 11:30 AM to hand over my parking ticket to one of my sisters to take home? (I'm trying to get that fucker fixed...I ain't got no $300 for a parking ticket.) Maybe it's not shaving in over a week? I guess I'm growing a beard? More likely, I'm just not shaving and eventually an odd looking beard will appear. I have no idea why other than sheer laziness. I haven't been keeping up no my show watching on tv, I'm not finishing this column I am writing, I'm just lagging on all kinds of shit. What's going on? I need to have fun this weekend and shake off whatever this funk is that I am balls deep in.

Got a party to attend on Saturday night that I'm stoked about. Hopefully my spastic colon will allow me to enjoy the evening. I can't recall the last time I had an alcoholic beverage. Anyway, I should really get shit wrapped up here at work and head home....

Egg-citing!

I'm all for new experiences, but getting my house egged at 3:00 AM by some losers wasn't exactly what I would consider fun. I was laying in bed, still awake mind you, watching Real Time on demand and all of a sudden my windows are getting pelted with oranges. I get up, look out the window and see nothing. But right away I have a suspicion that it's this guy who my brother had it out with a few months back. Did you ever have a friend in high school who never really graduated? You know, you go to college and this guy stays in his parent's house and lays bricks for a living. Well my brother has one of those and this dude is obnoxious. The last couple times he came around our house he stole shit and broke in our back window, just total scumbag shit. So anyway, my brother laid it out on the line and told him to never come around here again about 5 months ago.

Then last week my brother runs into him at a bar where this asshole starts to hit on my sister. I guess seeing my brother made this guy remember how he is "banned" from our house which sucks since he lives in the NE and loves to get drunk in Manayunk.

Anyway, having a sense that it might be this guy throwing oranges at my window, I stayed on my feet and waited for the next cycle of destruction to hit. This guy isn't the type to just do one thing and roll on....he's got ADD or something, so I knew he would be back. And true to form about 10 minutes later there are 3 guys on the street bombarding my house with a dozen eggs that they most likely purchased at the 7-11 up the street. Ridiculous.

I woke up my brother and he confirmed for me what I already knew. It was the guy. I saw him the second time round waddling back to his car parked in the gas station parking lot and my brother confirmed that it looked like this guy's car pulling off into the street and taking off towards 76.

Another day in the life. I'm too old for this shit. I swear.

Mikey...

Mikey
Originally uploaded by skipscorpio.

People keep asking me why on earth I would want to live with my brother Mike and his family. They say that living with a 2 year old will be a nightmare. Well, I say look at this picture.

This kid is my ticket to getting ass. He's hot. As far as kids go. And I don't mean that in a creepy uncle way. If I take him out to the park or the movies by myself....oh my....can you imagine?

A dreamboat in diapers.

Ironic How This Dude is From Ohio.

This Just In....Jury Duty Blows

As I drifted away to sleep at roughly 2:30 AM, I thought to myself..."how bad could jury duty be?"

Well, let me tell you.

The alarm went off at 7 AM and as soon as I opened my eyes, I knew that today was gonna suck. I got a shower, grabbed my summons and hit the road. Naturally it has been quite some time since I needed to drive into the city on a work day, so needless to say traffic was a peach. After I parked at 13th and Filbert, I rolled over to the municipal court building and couldn't make heads or tails of the lines they have going. It's like the fucking airport. You got metal detectors, conveyor belts, uneducated security staff. Anyway, after getting in the wrong line, I was shown to the line that you have to wait in to "check" your cell phone. Huh? It's barely 8:15 AM and I am now seriously doubting why I even decided to attend this jury duty thing. What can they do if you fail to show? Arrest you? Fine you?

Once you check your cell, then it's off to another line which is wrapping down the hall of the building. At the end of this line you get your parking validated, you turn in your summons and you grab some papers to fill out. Then it's off to the waiting room. A gigantic waiting room filled with the ugliest people on earth. This is where I would spend the next 3 and 1/2 hours trying to keep myself awake. I read the Inquirer, USA Today, an issue of Golf Magazine from 3 years ago. Dreadful.

We are told early on that lunch is at Noon, so as I see the clock coming up on the lunch time hour I am concerned that I am going to be here all day long. Just waiting. As luck would have it, I am selected as a pool of 20 potential jurors for a civil case over in City Hall. (Or should I say Shitty Hall? That place could use a "While You Were Out" makeover.) I march over there with my other possible jurors in utter silence. It's like a funeral, everyone is afraid to speak to anyone else. The only upside I am seeing is that the one hot female in the giant waiting room is in my group, the very lovely Megan aka Juror #9. Since I'm #18 and that is double 9, I immediately think the gods are at work and this is no mere coincedence. Once we are seated in our court room, we are told that we will break for an hour lunch until 1:15 PM. Ugh. This blows....

My sensitive stomach is aching for food, but we all know that if I eat I am most likely going to be labeled "the juror with a load in his pants" in the afternoon session of this experience. I break down and grab a bagel from a cart and fall asleep on the sidewalk outside the Hall of Shame. It was cold, but my 4 and 1/2 hours of sleep weren't cutting it. I was sure to get back to the courtroom a touch early to catch a glimpse of Juror #9. We sat in the hall across from each other and listened to our respective IPODs in total silence. I stared at her and she looked as though my staring made her uncomfortable. So much for the work of the gods.

After lunch we get sworn in and the lawyers pull us in a room one by one to ask ridiculous questions about what you do for a living. The case before us was an auto accident between a black man (plantiff) and a black woman (horrible driver), as I gazed around the room I knew right away that I was going to get tossed. Of the 20 of us, we were 10 men and 10 women. Since 8 jurors were needed, I suspected 4 men and 4 women would ultimately comprise the jury. That meant I had a 60% chance of NOT making the cut. Throw in the fact that 7 of the 10 men were white and the plantiff and defendant were black, I was convinced that improved my chances greatly. Low and behold, an hour later I am not selected. My suspicions were completely accurate as the jury wound up being 4 men, 2 black and 2 white and 4 women, 3 black and 1 white.

So finally at about 3 PM we are given our $9 checks and released into the wild. Wow, a whole $9? Good thing parking was only $7 and my bagel was $1. I made a dollar for 7 hours of hell. Oh wait a minute...............

Since I'm hardly near the Reading Terminal Market these days, I figured I would take the opportunity to buy some fresh breads and meats. It's only 3 and I can run in there right quick and still beat it home before traffic gets to crazy. So I jetted from the muni building to the market, grabbed some bagels from Le Bus (mmm), some ground turkey for dinner and some fallafel for the hell of it. I was in and out of the market, over to the parking lot for my car and out on Filbert St before I realized that I never retrieved my "checked" cell phone. FUCK!

Now since I had paid for parking already, I wasn't looking to go back into a lot for 1 minute at a cost of $15 every 20 minutes...with an hour minimum charge. (Fucking robbery those lots are.) I decided to roll over to the municipal building, look for a spot out front to jump into or double park, run out and grab my phone. Sounds easy eh? Well I found a spot alright. Right out front. I was in and out in literally 2 minutes tops. Cell phone in hand. What do I see in front of me? The meter maid from hell already writing me a ticket for parking in a handicap meter spot. Doh. I walk up calmly to her, explain my situation (waste of time) and politely wait for her to complete my ticket. I got in my car and drove off thinking, "oh well, that sucks." It wasn't until I looked at the ticket that I wanted to be dead. $300!!! Are you fucking nuts!!!! Checking your cell phone in because people can't be trusted to turn them the fuck off leads to me getting hit with a $300 ticket for parking at a handicap meter for 2 lousy minutes!!! Is this for real???!!!

I'm now down $299, extremely tired and more depressed than I was yesterday. Thank you Philadelphia. I love you.

Voting, Now This?

So tomorrow morning at 8 AM yours truly will be hoping like hell he doesn't get selected for a trial when I attend my first jury duty session for the city of Philadelphia. I've lucked out making it this long without getting picked to even go, so I guess it's not all bad. What sucks is working until Midnight and then having to be at City Hall at the fucking crack of dawn. So much for a day off from work...

I'm already looking to get this week over with and it's Sunday night.

I Tried to Resist...

About 14 months ago a Friendster of mine turned me onto MySpace.com. He said it was going to be the next best thing and that I should set up an account over there. Well, I did and then quickly forgot about it. Now I'm surrounded at work by My Space lunatics and I was forced into reigniting my profile on there and actually making an effort to locate friends. And that process is very addictive. I spent way too much time in the last couple waking hours putting names into the search finder just to see what I can strum up. And now I must take a much need break and eat some Dunkin Donuts which will surely make me ill.

I'm Throwing Up on Myself.

Ewww
Originally uploaded by skipscorpio.

What's the worse part of this photo?

Tara Reid's hairdo?
Her crackheadish smile?
Her nasty eye shadow?
Her frankenboob?

At least she ain't lying about getting new tits. Looks to me like they cut off the nipple, shoved in a water balloon and Lilo and Stiched that shit up. I probably could have performed a better boob job and I ain't been to no medical school.

Bummed Out

I feel ill. Always. I can't recall the last time I felt "good" health wise. I wouldn't say I'm a hypochondriac which is defined as the persistent conviction that one is or is likely to become ill, often involving symptoms when illness is neither present nor likely, and persisting despite reassurance and medical evidence to the contrary. The symptoms are there, I just choose to ignore them. And that's not good for business.

I'm happy to report that I have experienced little pain, discomfort or infection from my root canal on Wednesday, however my stomach has been in a state of quake all week. I'm convinced it's colitis or Crohns at this point. Here's what I found about both of them using the trusty internets as my guide.

The most common symptoms of Crohn's disease are abdominal pain, often in the lower right area, and diarrhea. Rectal bleeding, weight loss, and fever may also occur. Bleeding may be serious and persistent, leading to anemia.

The symptoms of ulcerative colitis may include:

1) Diarrhea. Some people may have diarrhea 10 to 20 times a day. The urge to go to the bathroom may wake you up at night.
2) Rectal bleeding. Ulcerative colitis usually causes bloody diarrhea and mucus. You also may have rectal pain and an urgent need to empty your bowels.
3) Abdominal pain, often described as cramping. Your abdomen may be sore when touched.
4) Constipation. This symptom may develop depending on what part of the colon is affected. Constipation is much less common than diarrhea.
5) Loss of appetite.
6) Fever. In severe cases, fever or other symptoms that affect the entire body may develop.
7) Weight loss. Chronic symptoms, such as diarrhea, can lead to weight loss.

With the exception of weight loss, I think this covers the bases. Clearly some of you are wondering why I just don't see a doctor about this illness and get it over with. Well, here's why.

1) I hate hospitals. I know Doctor's have offices, but I'm convinced that whatever I have will lead me to a hospital.
2) My mother had all kinds of health problems (she did have colitis, diabetes, cysts, etc.) and died at age 44. (See #1)
3) I don't trust medication. It's artificial. And it's corrupt...see Pfizer.
4) I'm lazy.
5) I always think it will go away.

I guess I'm making things worse by neglecting whatever it is that makes me a psycho when it comes to number 2. I don't really feel like leaving the house much as a result of my constant, nagging pangs of needing to poot. And as I have previously mentioned, this makes my lifestyle mirror that of a serial killer. Not good for trying to obtain the all important girlfriend.

Right now I'm at a point where I see plenty of gals around that I wouldn't mind asking out, but I don't feel comfortable actually going out. Can you imagine the following scenario?

"Hey. You wanna come over to my house tonight and watch TV?"
"How about we get a drink instead," she retorts.
"Well, see...I can't be away from my toilet so I'm gonna have to pass."

Naturally I'm being romantic in my notion that this is how my attempt at courting will pan out. More realistically her retort will be, "leave me alone LOSER." But I think you get my point. I'm crippled by my insecurity surrounding my fawlty bowels. And this is on top of being fat with a large shaped head and a sarcastic outlook on life.

What's Next for Me?

OUTBOUND CALL CENTRE SUPERVISOR

Our rapidly growing Call Centre is currently seeking to fill outbound supervisor positions. Representing Fortune 500 clients, Gemma Communications has been serving the Canadian market for over 4 years and is looking to add additional members to its team. Our 350-seat state of the art call centre offers an opportunity for future growth, benefit package, and is in demand for top quality supervisors.

Qualifications:
Minimum of 2 years of outbound sales and management experience in an outsourcing call centre a must.
Ability to coach, mentor and develop direct reports.
Proven track record of consistently meeting and exceeding client objectives.
Ability to motivate and manage a team of 15-20 sales agents Ability to identify and address areas of opportunity relative to performance and provide solutions.
Proficient with Excel.
Ability to work under pressure in a fast paced environment.
Ability to multi-task
Works well individually and with teams
Location is in Toronto.
Salary rage is $35-38,000/year plus bonuses.
Position is Fulltime permanent and individuals must be flexible to work Monday to Sunday and be available to work evening hours.

Okay. In looking at the qualifications, I can say check, check, check, check, check (kind of), CHECK, check, check, cold/but not a Bush state, could be worse and Saturdays off. I'm thinking about it....

Collective Depression

It's official, we are going to be under fascist rule for 4 more years. I can't bear to listen to the acceptance speech that is on CNN right now for fear that I will just start crying and never stop. I can't believe that I live in a country where they let this asshole get away with all the shit he does. I look around and see nothing but sad faces, people who really gave a shit about the election and supported the overthrow of our leader. Every away message is sentiment of disgust and confusion. It's just sad.

All I can say is that we have to stay strong and keep the fight going. Put pressure on this retard president of ours to listen to what we want as citizens of this nation. The Democratic party needs to get its shit together and form a united opposition to the Republican machine. The Michael Moore's and Bill Maher's of the world need to keep calling this regime to task. And the youth who came out with a vengeance cannot hide away until it matters again in 4 more years. Get involved, stay involved and let's take this motherfucker down together.

Painful

Tomorrow morning at 8 AM I have a root canal scheduled. Now normally I would be freaked out by the event since my experience with dentists is full of horror stories. But right now, with the direction I see the election going, I am looking forward to the pain. It can't be worse than having Bush at the helm for four more years. I am totally freaked out that this thing is so fucking close. The hope of our country rests in the hands of Ohio. Oh my God. Ohio? I guess the silver lining is that I am too old to be drafted to go to Vietnam. Oops, I mean Iraq.

I hope that when I wake up tomorrow, it was all a dream and that John Kerry is the winner. If not, I'm looking into jobs in Montreal once I get home from the dentist.

Clever

I Saw Saw

Aside from some over the top acting at various points, Saw delivers with chills and thrills. I was expecting a tad more on the gore front, but I was still presently suprised by the twists and turns in the plot. I commend the makers for dusting off Cary Elwes and Danny Glover and giving them some much needed work. Mr. Glover was this close to signing on for Gone Fishin' 2: Electric Eel Bugaloo with Joe Pesci. And Cary, well he has made only one film since Princess Bride that was watchable and no one saw it. (The Cat's Meow with Eddie Izzard as Charlie Chaplin) I do question the use of the screenwriter as the second lead in this flick however. He's over the top from jump, but his screenplay was solid considering how easy it is to put together a contrived horror film these days.

I was also thrilled to see Rob Zombie's new flick, The Devil's Rejects, previewed prior to Saw. The gang's all back and it looks demented just like House of 1,000 Corpses. And I saw this other preview that looked interesting, perhaps a foriegn film of some sort (no dialogue in the preview, just a voiceover....common marketing ploy for foreign movies.) and looked like a revenge thriller. High Tension. God Bless IMDB....it's a french film, Haute Tension. Anyway, looks kind of dark and cool.

Do It.

My civic duty is done. I managed to get to the polls, figure out the voting machine and cast my ballot for the Kerry/Edwards ticket. I was surprised by the lack of turnout at the polls, but I did go off peak at 10 AM. Most folks vote before or after their 9-5, so I wasn't all that concerned. However, the people there handing out their propaganda underwhelmed me even more than the turnout. What happed to enthusiasm? If you want me to vote for Bush/Cheney, fucking tell me so. Don't hand me a little piece of paper with shit on it....engage me. Oh well. The Move On lady wasn't very vocal either, so maybe I just look like a man who is determined and they didn't want to bother.

By the way, I live in the city. Not the sprawl of central PA. So why the hell are the poll workers playing country music? The lady who asked for my name was toothless and singing along to country music. I thought I was in Alabama for a minute. People who work the polls are fucking scary? Do they get paid for this work? I wonder...

I hope everyone who reads this took the time and effort today to make their voice count. Regardless of your choice, you have to vote.

Yogi Bush Cartoon

Schlange Man!

Trick or Treat?

Eagles gave us a scare today with a close one against the Ravens, but they pulled it out and now stand alone as the only team in the NFL without a loss. Pittsburgh shoved it up the Pats' ass this week, so now they get to try and give out 2 undefeated teams their first loss back to back weeks. Bring it on.

Busted out the camera today to snap some shots of the little ones in costume. Ventured to the great NE to see my nephews, niece and baby sister in full on Halloween mode. Hyper chocolate eating frenzy!! Was disappointed in how lame my old neighborhood has become with the whole trick or treating thing. When I was a kid, you were on the street with a hundred other kids all trying to make it around the block as fast as you could. Tonight I stood outside waiting to give out candy for 20 minutes between groups of kids. And these kids today have no fucking enthusiasm. They mumble and put no effort into their costumes. I think I saw about forty kids with wings on their backs; including 3 of my sisters. You call this a costume? Come on now...

Oh well. Clearly I'm not alone in thinking that this Halloween was a complete disappointment. All of my sisters were in agreement that without our party here on The Ridge, the events this weekend let them empty. Maybe we should have gotten it together and thrown the damn thing again? We went from having Bam Magera and his band of merrymen in attendance two short years ago, to not having a party at all.

I'm gonna watch a movie called I'm Not Scared now in the hopes that it scares me. Afterall, it's still Halloween for a couple more minutes....

NO (fucking) W.

NO (fucking) W.
Originally uploaded by skipscorpio.

Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter....and Spring

This is a very interesting Asian flick that I watched last night. It's a tale of a Buddist Monk and the art of zen. It's very simple and there is little dialogue, but it's so engrossing and beautiful. The story takes place on a lake throughout various stages of a man's life. In each of the seasonal parables, he learns another life lesson. I liked it.

Welcome to Lameville, I'm Your Host Skip

I couldn't do it. I was almost at the Halloween party tonight and I decided against it. Why?

1) I'm old.
2) I worked today.
3) I have work at 11 AM tomorrow morning and I need my rest because I'm old.
4) I wasn't in costume.
5) I couldn't find a parking spot.
6) I shit blood today....possibly a reaction to what I ate, possibly cancer of the stomach.
7) I am officially manic depressive with anxiety disorder on top.
8) I've been to a million parties and they are all the same.
9) I called ahead to survey the scene and was provided the following quote, "I haven't been upstairs in an hour, but last time I was it was weak"
10) I'm fucking lame.

In other news, my brother Mike managed to purchase a house on his own like a grown up. After all the build up, my involvement in the ownership of the "new house" wasn't necessary. However, at this time I'm officially a border in his Germantown oasis come the winter. The word came in today and I couldn't be more thrilled for the kid. Living in his Dad's basement with his wife and 2 year old has driven him almost to the verge of delirium. It will be nice to have him back amongst the living.

Scratch that bit above. Old Mike realized he was buying a house in the middle of the ghetto and withdrew his offer on the house. Yikes! I thought trying to get laid took a lot of energy....it doesn't compare to trying to buy a house.

And finally, I managed to hook up those $10 speakers I bought to my IPOD at work for after 8 PM listening pleasure. My battery died tonight at around 10:30, but at least I know they work and it makes work a little more tolerable listening to some tunes. Again...read the title of this post....I told you so.

Dropzines Come to Philly

Dropzines Show
Originally uploaded by skipscorpio.

My old band, the Dropzines (harmony laden indie pop) are coming to Philly and it would be swell if you could show your love. It's on the early side, so no complaining about having to work early the next day. Not sure about Whiskey Dix, but the music I can assure you will not disappoint.

Halloweenie

I have decided that I'm taking a year off from dressing up for Halloween. Chances are that if I just wear one of my normal ensembles, people will think I'm dressing as Michael Moore anyway. So why get all worked up over trying to figure out what to be? When you are my size and haven't shaved off your VanDyke in 15 years, you are very limited in what you can dress as anyway. I'll wait until I get my Extreme Makeover and then dress up as Brad Pitt from Fight Club every year for the next 10 years.

In place of our annual Halloween party that was scraped this year due to lack of enthusiasm, there is a party going on out in Fairmount that is hoping to steal our thunder. Or carry on the tradition? Whatever. I'm working until Midnight tonight and have to be back in work at 11 AM tomorrow morning, so no matter what I'm sure to miss out on the bulk of fun.

Ironically enough, I am out of work at 8 PM tomorrow night and off Sunday, so if the party were Saturday I would probably wind up enjoying it immensely. In any case, I am going tonight and making an appearance. I'm bringing the camera to try and document the remaining bits of goofiness the roommates get into before the walls crumble on this living situation. Plus I have pretty much abandoned the camera for the last 5 months and need to bust it out and use it more often.

Now I do know of a party tomorrow night that I could attend, but I'm not sure I could handle it. A pimp and ho party featuring 19 year old girls from work. I think I may have to avoid this one at all costs. No telling what kind of trouble I could get myself into....

Bid

Monroe!
Originally uploaded by skipscorpio.

The day has finally arrived. My brother Mike, his wife Deb and I all agreed on a house that we like over in Germantown and a bid was placed late yesterday afternoon.

The neighborhood seems alright, a little lower middle class...just like us. But the place was rehabbed from soup to nuts recently and is currently vacant. 6 Bedrooms, 2.5 baths, backyard, on street parking, couple blocks from train station. It seems to good to be true.

So the picture above may soon reflect my life as I attempt to live with a married couple with a small child. Remember when they made Ted Knight have a small child on Too Close For Comfort? Retirees raising a baby...now that's comedy.

"I'll change your diaper, then you can change Daddy's diaper!"

The One That Got Away

On the verge of 33, I guess I'm at that point in life where you start to reflect a little more clearly on how you spent your twenties. Not a mid-life crisis or anything like that, just some recollections of events and what not. Being single and childless, I have plenty of time to spend on reflection. Not that I want to be married and have kids, I'm merely saying that I bet all bachelor's once they hit a certain age think about what it would have been like if you chose a different path.

I think a story I heard yesterday at work put me in this odd state of rememberance. This guy was talking about his high school girlfriend who was really cool and how her sister wound up married to The Edge. He was saying that if things worked out differently, his brother in law right now would be The Edge. That's fucked.

Maybe seeing my buddy Rob's sister last night added to this decision to piece things together. I remember vividly in college of having a huge crush on Beth who was still in high school at the time. Sounds sick now that I am 33, but I was 20 at the time and she was probably 15 or 16 which isn't too bad. I'm thinking she might actually be responsible for my continued obession with young gals. Hogwash!

I can only blame myself for continuing to look at teenage girls as a viable dating alternative. I'm not sure why I do this. I mean the attraction factor comes across as possibly illicit considering my continued maturity. Lolita looks pretty in that two piece...fucking sicko. Maybe it's the uncomplicated behavior of a teenage girl. She's more concerened with material things than procreating. I rule out dating most women in my demographic simply because I don't want kids and I'm allergic to cats. That wipes out a ton of eligible single women.

Whatever the fascination with women 20 and under is, I'm sure it is making me seem more and more like a dirty old man instead of a real person. I'm a bit of a caricature to most, potty mouthed and willing to say anything to make people uncomfortable. But I think there must be a deeper reason for how I act and who I ultimately am. Was it because I wasn't a cassanova in high school? Was it because my parent's divorced when I was 3? Was it because I went to an all boy's high school? Part of me thinks that all of these had an impact on shaping who I am today.

I have spent a large part of my life not having any intimacy with a member of the opposite sex. I have had relationships, but nothing longer than say 6 months. It's odd. Sometimes I am happy to say that and other times I think it makes me seem a bit like a freak. I don't exactly crave a relationship, but sometimes I wonder why I am not more actively looking for one. The older I get, the more distant I am becoming with my friend's who are all grown up. Most of them are married, dating someone or having kids....and here I am doing nothing. I work, I watch TV, I read, I sleep, I blog. I'm not a go getter when it comes to women. Fear of rejection is a huge part of that. It's not just fear, it's actually rejection that I have suffered that beats me back into my shell. Most of my casual hook ups in the past few years have all been a drunken mistake that some girl made. How's that for your self esteem? Mr. Mistake. I'm not saying that these women were cruel enough to refer to me as a mistake to my face, but their behavior the following day says it all. (Ever get the feeling that you are sharing to much? That's where I am RIGHT NOW.)

Is there a point to all this rambling? I guess so. It's just that I wish I could have made one of these hook ups turn into a relationship of some sort. It would be nice to have some experience longer than 6 months to draw on. Even if it's for material to shape my dreams or musings. In college I spent a lot of time being 'the friend' to girls. I should have been more forthcoming and just told them straight out that my angle was to be a boyfriend, not a friend. I've spent the last few years doing just that and as a result I don't have many female friends. Some women look at me like a pig, not just my physical stature, but my personality as well. And that sucks. How do I fix it? I don't know. I remember back in the day, when I had female friends, they would always tell me that I was too nice. Apparently boyfriend's are assholes and until I become one, I won't succeed. I like being nice. I like being concerned about people. And supportive. And complimentary. What the fuck is wrong with that. I think that I get a bum rap sometimes. I'm not a pervert because I like one of my sister's friends. I can't help who I like. If I feel a connection or attraction to someone, I need to act on it consequences be damned. I'm getting to old for this shit. Either I am going to become a hermit who is extremely social at work, but otherwise hides in his room or I'm going to find the right gal to make mine.

Bottom line. I'm currently accepting applications for a girlfriend. Must be between the ages of 18-24, must like attention and pampering, must like movies. If you are a bitch, all the better. The machocist in me is attracted to the bitchy ones.

Oh Crap!

NAIROBI (Reuters) - More than 100 jailed Kenyan street children smeared themselves and their Nairobi cells with feces in a protest Wednesday, leading police to call in firefighters to hose them down.

Now I love a good shit story like anyone, but if you dig past the headlines on this one you get to the real tragedy.

Nairobi's streets are home to thousands of homeless children, many of them abandoned or orphaned by AIDS. Many steal and sniff glue and are regarded as an aggressive menace. They are also often the victims of abuse and violence.

Awesome. Book my trip for Africa post haste. But seriously, American kids bitch when they run out of a PS2 game at Target. Could be worse. Who's with me?

Sedaris, Conference, Long Day

I'm immensely tired at this point. Up at 7 AM, spent all day sitting at a conference about software for workforce management that my company should buy but probably won't. (Workforce huh?) Then over to work for a catch up on emails. Then off to the Kimmel Center to see the wonderfully funny David Sedaris.

My back is aching from sitting prone all day, but it was worth it. Seeing David Sedaris was a delight. (Good job Dan...finally a birthday present that doesn't suck ass.) I ran into my friend Rob's sister Beth there and was able to grab an address from her to start a postcard love affair. Now that Rob has settled down and become a house wife in SF, I need a new postcard buddy.

Anyway, I have to do a weekly recap for my Fantasy Football league (I beat my old man this week...hoo-ha!) and watch Biggest Loser on VHS before I head to slumber land.

Yum.

Yum.
Originally uploaded by skipscorpio.

What I Want From A President

With a week to go before we elect John Kerry as President, I think it would be nice to put together a little list of things I want to see from Kerry. I'm not talking about World Peace and Lower Taxes and all that pie in the sky bullshit. These are things that I want. Just me. Although some of you may agree with them, I am asking for them for myself. If you benefit, then so be it.

1.) When something falls out of your tooth and you call your dentist for an appointment, you should only have to wait 48 hours maximum before being seen. High health care premiums and considerable over charges that every dentist makes to your insurance company should warrant you a little immediacy when you actually have a fucking need to see the dentist. (I had to wait 2 weeks to see my dentist when a filling in my mouth fell out. Then when I got in there, all they did was clean it and tell me to come back in 5 days for a dentist to re-fill it. When I went back for the refill, the dentist says it's now too close to the nerve and therefore you need a root canal from some other guy who can't see you until November. And oh yeah, once he's done with you, you need to have those wisdom teeth removed so that we can fit a crown on that newly root canaled tooth of yours. And P.S. you have a co=pay for all of this...)

2.) When you register to VOTE, your polling location should be printed on your voter registration card in fucking english. Not some sort of government code. It's hard enough getting people to show up at the polls when they know where they are for fuck's sake.

3.) You shouldn't have to pay car insurance on a car once you have paid into the insurance system more money than the car is worth. I know people paying $200 a month in this city for a car that is only worth $200?!?!? Huh????

4.) Prostitution should be legalized. And there will be a decency standard imposed. This means that the hookers will have to be decent looking. No ugly bitches sucking dick for crack.

5.) 6 weeks paid vacation from every employer per year.

6.) College education should be free. And on top of that all student loans already in repayment status should be forgiven.

This is just a starter list of my demands. I'm always working on adding to the list. So if you have any you would like to add, comment this post and when I talk to Kerry I'll let him know what's up.

Saturday Night

Perhaps I should have went out? Like a fool, I stayed in. Alone. Watched some midget porn. Surfed the internet. I thought long and hard about how my lifestyle models that of every serial killer in the last 40 years. I'm single. I keep to myself. Don't hang out with many friends. So much for the big 3 day weekend!

And now I have diarrhea from eating Mexican during the Eagles game. Guess that makes tonight a wash too.

I Didn't Heart Huckabees

Very talky. Plays long. Not sure it should have been a comedy. Schwartzman and Wahlberg were the only people who looked comfortable with the dialogue. Schwatrzman is so funny to me. Like Owen Wilson. He has a quality to him that makes it impossible to not expect everything that comes out of his mouth to be a joke. Naomi Watts looked good, but had a worthless role. Jude Law looked awkward. My least favorite David O. Russell film at this point.

The Office

BBC America this weekend is broadcasting the 2 hour special filmed 3 years after the original run of the 12 episode series. If you don't know what The Office is, kill yourself.

Tivo that shit biatch!

Link is Stereophonics covering the theme song Rod Stewart's Handbags and Gladrags. (Thanks Stereogum.com)

In Good Spirits

My boss April is the bomb.

The other night I got stranded at work doing time on this set up we call the bridge. Essentially, when you go to the bridge you don't have time to piss, shit or breathe. It's a phone and computer that is set up to receive incoming questions from the staff who are taking orders over the phone. Now most days, a supervisor like myself will spend about 3 1/2 hours manning the bridge. When I work 3- Midnight, I get to ride the bridge from 8 PM to close since no one else is there after 8 PM. On Monday, my 7th day in a row of work, a scheduling snafu caused me to get on the bridge at 5 PM and man it until Midnight. Ugh. It's a horrible fate.

Anyway, for being the good soldier, the aforementioned April is allowing me to begin my long weekend early by allowing me to work tomorrow from 11 AM to 4 PM. How cool is that? And then on Tuesday, instead of returning to work, I am actually attending a conference in Philly with April about Call Center shizzle. (I got a postcard about this conference and approached her about attending and she decided to join me....probably because she can just sense that I am a good time...) So essentially as of 4 PM tomorrow, I have no work until next Wednesday which is super. Did I mention that Tuesday night post the conference I have David Sedaris at the Kimmell Center? Looks like the sun might actually come out on me this weekend.

I Was Waiting For This Link With Video!

So here it is...JON STEWART on CROSSFIRE!

Shoptastic!

Today I decided to play a little game with my money. America's Best Eyeglasses fucked me over on my second pair of glasses by not only delivering them to me fucked up, but then losing them for 3 months. (A long story...) Anyway, I decided to go there today and demand my $120 back. Mission Accomplished. So once I got this refund, I decided to try and spend it all on other shit since in reality I had already spent the money 3 months ago.

Here's how I did:

Depeche Mode 101 DVD for $13.77 @ FYE
Foot care shit for $20 @ Eckerd
2 tee shirts for $20 @ Pac Sun
Speakers for my IPOD (so I can listen to it at work) for $9.99 @ Best Buy
New CDs (Beasties Boys, Keane and Jimmy Eat World) for $37 @ Best Buy

Shopping for sport makes it more interesting.

Team America; World Police

I had high hopes, but alas the South Park guys just aren't funny outside of doing the cartoon thing. Basketball, Orgazmo and now Team America. When are they no longer allowed to make films that don't star Kyle, Cartman, Stan and Kenny?

The major flaw for me was that they don't pick a side, they just make fun of everyone. And the puppets play it straight a la a Hollywood action flick which is funny for like 25 minutes and then it is just annoying. I loved the songs which was also the strength of the South Park movie in my opinion, but otherwise I could have passed on this one.

Use extreme caution if you decide to see this film.

Gorgeous Day Off

It's miserable out. And I'm cold. Slept until 11:30 AM in honor having not having to do a fucking thing today. Perfect day for a movie, and maybe some clothes shopping. I'm sporting tee shirts from like 3 years ago in my wardrobe, it's plain embarassing.

Watched a documentary called Rivers and Tides before I went to bed last night. It's about this Scottish artist who builds sculpture out of rocks and driftwood and other pieces of nature. His work was inspired by the river as a youngster and a lot of it features S shaped themes. It was kind of rad, so check it out if you like art.

Still have high hopes that I will be doing something meaningful this coming weekend. With three days off in a row, I gotta take advantage. Maybe drive somewhere...and just wing it. Road trip.

Day 7

So I'm about to roll out to work for the 7th straight day. Ugh. It's not that the work is very difficult or taxing, it's just that usually my plate has more on it from being out of the office for 2 days. Last night from about 6 PM until Midnight I did absolutely nothing at work except stay awake. It's just busy enough so that everyone else working is on a call and I'm basically there in case anything goes wrong.

I'm rocking the midnight shift again today. But I'm off tomorrow and looking to check out Team America World Police for shits and giggles. What's cool is that all this working has gotten me a 3 day weekend this coming weekend. Done at 8 PM on Friday until Tuesday...

Me and the Old Man

So my Pops came up from Virginnie for the weekend and picked me up from work Friday night to take me out on the town with him. Since I haven't written in detail about the kind of man my father is, I guess I should preface my time with him with a little bio on the shizzle.

Joe is 57 and single. Or if you like, twice divorced. He sired my sister and myself in the early 70's and promptly gave up having children. His role of weekend Dad makes his contribution to my upbringing sound trite, but that's what he was. I am cut from the identical mold that he is, complete with requisite facial hair that is practically a permanent feature of our faces. I'm extremely obnoxious at times, a bit of a know it all when it comes to pop culture and possess a ferocious desire to win at anything competitive. Just like dear old Dad. We have the same sense of humor and bad luck with women. At this stage of Joe's life, he cares about retiring soon, golfing and seeing his kids and grandkids as much as possible. What's cool about Joe is that he is 57, but acts like he's 20.

Let me explain. Joe's major form of entertainment, outside of golfing, is music. The man lives on Kazaa illegally downloading thousands of songs. It's kind of humorous considering his attitude toward technology in his 40's was that of "I don't want to know how it works or what is does!" When the weekend comes, his goal is to make it out to a bar to see a cover band play all the latest and greatest pop faves on the radio. Now being a self professed music snob, I loathe the fact that his palette is so limiting. But the man is driving around in his car singing along to Green Day and the Cult and he knows who they are, so I can't be all that ashamed. Does your Dad download The Strokes in his spare time? I didn't think so.

Anyway, getting back to last night. As I get in the car I am given 3 choices for the event of the evening. Cover band here, cover band here or cover band here. It's always the same choice, and I always just go along with the plan whatever it is. As much as I hate watching a cover band in a bar, I like hanging with my Dad the exact same much. You dig? I could do without his excitement at how good he thinks the band we are watching is, but he's into music and so am I and that makes me happy. I listen to Avril and he listens to Hillary Duff...who's worse?

We hung out at a dive in Jersey listening to this chick go through her set of Sheryl Crow and Jewel covers as I pounded Jack and Ginger doubles (Dad's treat and drink of choice by way...we even have the same taste in drinks). We argued about politics and television shows. We don't agree with everything, I'm indie and he's Joe Republican, I like reality TV and he hates it. But the point is we drank and talked and hung the fuck out. I like the fact that my Dad makes time to come visit me. I know a lot of people get all cringy when they have to spend time with their family, I know I do most of the time, but my visits with Dad are different. We're like friends instead of father and son. Maybe being a weekend Dad created that dichotomy, but I wouldn't want it any other way.

News Flash

This just in.

Frats are fucking evil.

Rain Of Terror Continues

So on the heels of crappy day/night yesterday, I get up this morning and wait in the rain for 45 minutes for my bus to NEVER come. At 10:45 I decide to drive to work since I have to be there at 11 AM. Like the nice guy I am, I offer a lift to the two other dudes waiting for the bus with me and they accept. It's all about Karma. Anyway, I get down to work and I can't find a lot that isn't full in the entire city. Rain makes everyone a pussy and on top of that everyone gets to work at 9 AM, not fucking 11 AM.

So I wind up parking 10 city blocks from work at a 2 hour meter spot. I think you can guess where this is going. Of course I get a $20 ticket for not feeding the meter which is pretty much what I would have wound up paying in a lot anyway. But the long ass walk and search for the spot made me 40 minutes late to work. Ugh.

It's not all bad. This chick Terry who works for me loaned me this "never released" documentary about fraternities called "Frathouse" that I am dying to see. Rock on Terry!

Entre las Piernas

My jigga JV finally came through with a respectable movie recommendation in the Spanish flick Between Your Legs. It's got Victoria Abril (from Tie Me Up, Tie Me Down....the only good Antonio Banderas movie.) and Javier Bardem (Before Night Falls), some sex, some mystery, some twists and turns. It hit the spot. De Palma meets Cronenberg but with a spanish flavor and not Almodovar flavor cause that bitch is nutty. Two decent Spanish movies in a row. Go Spain!

Madman
Originally uploaded by skipscorpio.

Nonsense

Check it.

My day was kind of crappy. Not because of my mood, just because things were happening to me that were unfortunate and unsavory. I was super erratic at work today, couldn't focus on anything for much. Got a voicemail from my brother telling me that my phone was turned off. I flaked on the bill apparently. Then I tried to call and make things right and got sick of waiting on hold for an hour! Fucking AT&T.

And oh. Before I left work I filled up a Gatorade Propel bottle with water for the journey home on the bus. While listening to the Garden State soundtrack (again) on my IPOD and reading this Kevin Smith book that is dope, I didn't notice that the bottle was leaking all over my bag and through to my pants. So now it looks like I wet myself. Super.

I'm in the midst of working 7 days straight, and on top of my Grandfather's birthday that I am missing on Sunday, now my Dad is coming up from VA to visit this weekend. I'm trying to squeeze him in on Friday night just cause I never see him.

Things may turn around, I taped Lost. And I bought some M&M's at Rite Aid today. Yum.

A Sight To Behold

This link conjures up memories of Star Search and KIDS Incorporated. This kid Zach is at that tender age where enthusiasm comes across as just downright NOT RIGHT. You know there is a stage mom behind this whole thing and that's the scariest part.

Click the title of this post and ROCK OUT to Katrina and the Waves reinterpreted by the ZACH ATTACK!

Rockin' The Sure Shot

Beasties concert was off the hook, fo shizzle. I was concerned that they were gonna go heavy with the new shit, but they didn't. Played something from every era and had a dope ass encore. You got 45 minutes of rapping then the stage revolved and out come the instruments. Good to hear those instrumentals from back in the day. Then back to rap, encore in the fucking crowd and then super secret 2nd encore after a ton of people roll out...Gratitude and the show stopper Sabotage dedicated to Bush to close things. The Beasties doing right. Hell yeah.

I Can't Stand It I Know You Planned It
But I'm Gonna Set It Straight, This Watergate
I Can't Stand Rocking When I'm In Here
Because Your Crystal Bal Ain't So Crystal Clear
So While You Sit Backand Wonder Why
I Got This Fucking Thorn In My Side
Oh My, It's A Mirage
I'm Tellin' Y'all It's a Sabotage

Monday Day Darkness

Having seen Friday Night Lights today, it's funny that I mentioned in an earlier post that a coin flip would determine my movie selection on this Columbus Day 2004. A pivotal point of the high school football movie involves a coin flip, one that has great meaning for the focus of this feature, the Odessa Permian Panthers of Texas. Now let's set the record straight, men like sports. Not all men might like movies as much as I do, but I garuantee that if a man HAS to watch a movie, he'd prefer it to be about sports. Sports movies are great, whether they are dramatic like the Natural or Any Given Sunday or comical like Tin Cup or Major League. They always deliver on the rudimentary level of sports action and the plot is usually along the same lines which breeds familiarity, and that makes them pretty safe bets. If you like one football movie, chances are you will like them all. It's hard to fuck it up, Necessary Roughness (Kathy Ireland saved that one) and Radio (nothing could help this one) aside.

What usually separates an okay football movie from a superb football movie are the performances. The story goes either one of two routes.

A) meet the team, watch the overcome adversity and win the big game in the 4th quarter
or
B) meet the team, watch them overcome adversity and lose the big game in the fourth quarter.

And both work just as well from a viewing perspective because throughout either scenario we meet interesting characters, maybe see some boobies and always get caught up in the "big game" action. It's a guy thing. We are essentially easy to please and most of the makers of sports films get it.

Now what makes Friday Night Lights special are 3 things.

1) Billy Bob Thorton is legit as an actor. The role of coach in this particular movie is very subtle, it's not your typical loud over the top (Al Pacino in Any Given Sunday anyone) cliched performance of the small town coach. And the strength of the film is his ability to evoke emotion visually instead of saying every hackneyed one liner you have come to expect in movies.

2) Peter Berg provided a strong script devoid of the expected and fairy tale endings that Hollywood loves. I don't want to spoil the film, but things don't get resolved easily and not everyone is going to be alright....and I like that.

3) The style in which Berg chose to direct this comes across as very fly on the wall, much like a documentary. Considering it is based on a true story, it makes absolute sense, but it would be so easy for another director, one without a connection to the story (Berg's cousin is the award winning journalist whose work the movie is based on) or with indie credibility, to fuck it up.

Getting back to Billy Bob for a moment, let me say upfront that his personal life is none of my business and that I pretty much consider him to be a scum bag when I comes to women. (Kids everywhere, 20 ex-wives, etc.) And he tries to hard to be eccentric (see Jolie's blood, tattooes, horrible singing) and that detracts somewhat from him getting the respect he deserves. But I'll be damned if he isn't a phenominal actor.

Sling Blade, Bad Santa, A Simple Plan, Monster's Ball, The Man Who Wasn't There, U-Turn and I'll even give him Armegeddon. Even in the shit he was in, Intolerable Cruelty, Pusing Tin, Bandits, he makes an effort to be above the others around him and it shows.

Don't get me wrong, there are flaws in Friday Night Lights. The "coach's wife" character is the most pathetic in all of cinema. I counted two lines for that hot, tall red head from Spin City who plays Billy Bob's hapless wife and mother to his invisible daughter. And based on the epilogue, you get the feeling there must have been a lot of scenes that got cut out. Why don't we learn what happens to Colmer the 3rd string Running Back? But overall, I would rank this football movie a sure thing.

Now ladies, I'm not sure how you are going to react to this one, but considering that I know no less than 10 guys who have been dragged to a Kate Hudson movie....it's time you returned the favor. You dig?

Busey Bush Cartoon

Is This The One?

So I saw a house today about 5 blocks from where I currently reside, 5 bedrooms, yard, 1 full bath, big living room and dining room that has decent potential for living and perhaps an investment. It's like 2 blocks from Main Street in Manayunk and that means it's rentable in any condition. It needs some work, but the process of finding the perfect place is ridiculous. We need to have a person who knows what shit costs to walk through and tell us how much it will take to fix it up and make it really special. The bathroom sucks as does the kitchen and the basement is nasty. The rugs gotta go as well. In short, it's the closest we've come to actually taking the next step in this process of buying a house. We'll see...

Other than seeing the house, my poor ass didn't do shit. I sort of watched some football games without being very interested...and read a little. I'm getting a bit stir crazy staying in all day when I'm off from work. Tomorrow night is the Beasties concert, but I think I'm gonna take what little money I have in the bank and going to a movie tomorrow in the day time. I gotta do something or I'm gonna go nuts. I am fucking watching the finals of In Search of the Partridge Family as I write this. Yuck.

Friday Night Lights or Ladder 49? I thought both looked marginal at best, but the reviews I see on them are pretty decent. I'll flip a coin and be sure to let you know how it turns out.

Llama Song

Alright kids. Laugh of the day.

Click the title of this post, volume up and click on the WATCH THIS MOVIE button.

Proceed with chuckling.

Friday Night Flick

Devil's Backbone
Originally uploaded by skipscorpio.

I took a chance on a Spanish film by the director who did Hellboy and Blade 2 called the Devil's Backbone.

I would have to say that I highly recommend it if you are into genre bending films. It's a period piece but also kind of a horror movie with a revenge element to it. Sounds interesting doesn't it?

My faith has been partially restored in the cinema of Europe. Finally.

David Sedaris Is Coming!

My brother Dan has stepped it up a notch and surprised me with tickets to see Sedaris on 10.26.04 at the Kimmell Center in Philadelphia for my birthday. Nice.

If you don't know who David Sedaris is, then hit your local bookstore and pick up a copy of Me Talk Pretty One Day or Barrel Fever.

Stewing, Viewing and Spewing

Food shopping was done for the first time in my house since perhaps July? I can't recall. I just know it's been a long time. It was nice to cook a meal last night instead of patiently waiting for it to be delivered. I even shared it with people! You throw one hissy fit about someone eating your leftovers and now everyone feels as though they have to ask me to eat some food that I made for everyone. Go figure.

Apparently on the heels of the food incident of last week, our cable bill has a porno rental on it that no one is claiming. The roommate hijinx continues. Everyone is looking at everyone else as a culprit and someone is hiding behind it all like a pussy. Oh well. Before long, this little community will come to an end and all the shit talking and distrust will end. And then maybe these guys will be friends again. I can honestly say that ordering a porno and eating someone's stromboli are not imprisionable offenses, so I fail to see why anyone would deny doing them.

Moving on, last night I watched Bill Maher's show (good), Lost (continues to work for me) and Wife Swap (like a car accident, can't look away) on television and about an hour of Iron Monkey on DVD. Remember what I was saying about Asian cinema and how it is like the best of the foriegn genre these days? Scratch that. Iron Monkey sucked a monkey's dong. The action was neat but not interesting neat, just plain old neat. Story line was corny. Oh well....I have a couple more foriegn titles coming this week to cleanse the palatte.

This coming Sunday and Monday I am off and the Eagles are on their BYE, so that means I can actually do something with my life. Oh yeah, I have no money...FUCK. That's the beauty of my job. They pay you so little that it keeps you right where they want you. You work only to survive, not to enjoy life. Fuckers.

However, Beaties Boys concert on Monday night. That's right, I'm going to see the Beasties. I haven't seen them since Lollapalooza had them on the bill about 10 years ago. I'm not the biggest fan of their work post Ill Communication, but I'm looking forward to it all the same. It's a bonding experience with my cousins Todd and Sam and my baby bro Dan. Maybe we will make it through the night without breaking each other's balls.

My Hate List Today

Things that are wrong with the world.

1) You feel something come out of its place in your mouth, possibly a cap or a filling, and you call the dentist for an appointment and the soonest you can get in there is 10/20. Huh?

2) Not having Tivo. I can only tape one channel at a time on my 1992 VCR that I am still rocking and on nights when I work until 10 PM or Midnight, I miss out taping multiple shows that I desire viewing. Ugh.

3) Spending a considerable amount of time on your off day doing a schedule for work.

4) Having only $40 until pay day which is 1 week away.

Freaking Hot

Scarlett Pussy Cat
Originally uploaded by skipscorpio.

If I had any talent concerning computers, I no doubt would have taken a digital shot of my self posed in a position on my bed to match the likely position a man would be in to be sitting on that red couch behind Scarlett's bum. Then I would have taken said photo of myself and added my likeness to this photo using photoshop.

And this post would be funny had I done that.

Instead, it's just dead sexy.

Steven Starr Must Be Stopped!

Johnny Walker Sucks

I'm pissed. The invite to the drinking event says clearly that the complimentary open bar begins promptly at 8:30 PM. Why then did it fucking close at 8:40 PM? Because apparently they started at 8:00 instead of 8:30 and fucked us. I got one drink in and that was it. What a bummer. And many of the boys actually dressed up fancy for this one...

So another night of drinking games and pounding Mickey Light. I feel like shit today regardless, so I guess it's all good.

Forces Of Good

So that website I write a column for is up and running as of today...

Click the title to see what I contributed and do me a favor and take a look around.

Ham With A Side of Ham

Much like all of David E. Kelley's shows, Boston Legal had a strong debut but will most likely be entertaining for 2 years maximum and then move into the sublime, see The Practice or Boston Public for examples. However, getting back to the strong debut, James Spader and Will Shatner together is fucking genius. Spader is essentially playing a variation of his Secretary character, which I hear is what he was playing on the last year of The Practice. Having given up on the Practice years ago, I'm sorry to say I hadn't seen this fine performance until tonight. Apparently Spader was so good, he got an Emmy as did Shatner I think for playing the same lawyer on a couple episodes of the Practice or some shit like that. Kudos to you both.

Anyway, there are 3 rather attractive women on the show if the hammy-ness of Shatner and Spader don't do it for you. I guess that makes my non-reality show count up to 2 for this season. Lost and Boston Legal. Oddly enough both on ABC which is currently the most horrid of all networks. Is this a resurgance?

Witty Title Taking To Much Effort

I always wondered what was in Michelob Light that made it impossible for me to get drunk off of it no matter how many I put down and I think I figured out today what it is. Water.

Anyway, my football/poker party didn't quite come off as planned, but the day wasn't a complete wash. I managed to get a couple friends to come over and half watch the Eagles boringly beat the Bears. The Poker aspect of the day was undermined by a conflicting poker event last night. (Not really in the mood to describe that debacle...)

My brother Mike made chili that didn't make me crap myself, so I'm chalking this day up as a victory.

Sorry about the tone of the posts lately, I'm working on being more upbeat. I promise.

Pump It Up

Premature

As irony would have it, I'm at work today and I get a call from my buddy Jared who says to me, "I'm in for tomorrow and so is Gabe." So I have friends who are coming through in the clutch after all. I'm looking forward to sitting around and watching the game and maybe even playing some Sunday afternoon poker.

Here We Go Again.

And so it is, another weekend where I am working on a Saturday and not doing much of anything else. I am trying in vain to get my buddies together to watch the Eagles game at my house tomorrow, but the response to my invite has been tepid at best. I guess since my lifestyle has changed due to the crazy work schedule and in some of these cat's eyes I don't keep in touch as much, I'm not high on the priority list. C'est La Vie. That's french for "I don't really care." I used to be a guy that worried about hanging out and keeping the bonds people had with each other together for as long as possible. After a while you realize you are one guy paddling a boat full of people upstream. I don't like talking to people on the phone, I have social anxiety and I'm fucking poor. These factors lead to a less than exciting social life.

My point is that despite all these things, I do make an effort to involve my friends in my life. If I am having a BBQ the ones who may come get an invite, those who would never come don't. Saves me some time and trouble. I run a fantasy football league and most of my friends opted out due to other factors (wives, money, etc.) I make appearances at baby's birthday parties (with the coolest fucking gift I might add), stupid German fests that don't intertest me in the least, just to keep the relationship going...because if I didn't I'm sure I would just be cut loose. I'm expendable and that's the sad reality. Because I chose to work a job that pays very little, live my life on the cheap and not pursue the marriage and kids thing, I'm finding it harder and harder to relate to my friends. I fight the good fight, but sometimes I don't feel like it.

I'm almost 33, and I'm starting to see why Jesus was like, "alright...I'll die for everyone's sins." He was 33 too. Life just gets fucking old at 33. I'm still lusting unsucessfully after 20 year olds, sitting in my room, playing music or watching television....all the same shit I did in high school.

What is the moral of this story? Well, I hope to fuck I win Powerball tonight.

Not Good

Either a cap or a filling is coming loose in my mouth. Time to call the dentist and make an appointment ASAP. I was at work minding my business chewing on some Trident and all of a sudden something is preventing my teeth from coming together to form a bite. That kind of shit always freaks me out.