Hot Topic, Pouring Rain and Vomit

This long strange trip I'm on gets more interesting every day. My long weekend is coming to a close and today I decided that for some reason I should see what the mall down here looks like. Newsflash: It looks like a mall. But I'm getting ahead of myself, so let me back up to what happened before I actually made it to the mall.

On my way down the front stairs of my building I ran into John (the gay Navy guy who lives downstairs) and another young kid who were frantically preparing for the eating contest that was going down at High Noon in the foyer of my building. John explained to me that Andrew (the young Marine in my building) was called out by a girl for being a pussy because he couldn't possibly eat 36 tacos from Taco Bell in an hour. Word of his challenge spread throughout the ranks at Fort Gordon and before too long people were volunteering to participate along side Andrew by eating other fast food gems like chicken nuggets and pizza. Eventually John became involved as sort of an impromptu host and he even went so far as to design and produce tee shirts for the participants. Glutton on Greene 2005 became the "it" event for a Tuesday at lunch time and I have the photographs to prove it.

4 gentlemen were going to try and eat various pre-determined amounts of fast food items within a window of time of 75 minutes. All gents were officially weighed in prior to the meal, for what reason I couldn't tell. The participants and their speciality item are outlined below.

Andrew - 36 total beef tacos (18 soft/18 hard shell)
Gallagher - 2 large Pizza Hut pizzas (1 deep dish with Pepperoni/1 plain regular)
Huellet - 36 Krystal burgers (imagine White Castle burgers)
Aaron - 75 Wendy's Chicken Nuggets with BBQ dipping sauce

Apparently these guys figured out the basic caloric intake of each and decided based on body size the appropriate amount each would need to consume. Aaron weighing in at 139 pounds only need to consumer 75 nuggets, Gallager was 30 lbs heavier and therefore had to eat pizza. I was in awe of the amount of pre-planning that went into this event. I'm also thankful that I stumbled upon it unfolding, espcially considering that my landlord even popped in mid-event to see what all the fuss was about. Truly a spectacle to behold. A bunch of people sitting around watching a bunch of people gorge themselves while Eye of the Tiger is blasting on a loop in the background. Cleary this event will lead to puking...and oh boy did it.

Mr. Nuggets blew his load at 46 deep and completely unloaded over our front porch. Mr. Taco didn't hit 20 before he was forcing himself to hurl just to "take away the pain." The smartest guy in the room was the Krystal burger guy who showed up late and took his good old time, only putting down about 12 before he called it quits. The clear winner was Mr. Pizza, but if you ask me eating two pies is nothing. If you want to see the tragedy unfold, check out my pictures.

To follow an act like this, I decided I needed to see the mall. After about 10 minutes I had seen enough and made some rash purchased at Hot Topic on my way out. Couple post cards, a Devil's Rejects pin and a Johnny Cash pin for my bag and some black shirts with bands on them. (What else would you expect from Hot Topic?) I'm now officially "that guy." The fat guy in his 30's wearing a System of a Down tee shirt to work. Ha. Anyway, the drive back from the mall was the scariest of my life as it was full on down pouring and the roads were flooded. I couldn't see anything and was scared to death. The rain here is unlike anything I've ever seen. Powerful and punishing....unless of course you are expecting it to wash away chicken nugget vomit.