Taxes Suck

So here's a funny story for you. This past year I ran into some financial troubles and decided to basically not pay my state taxes. I did the return and saw that I owed $750, so I did what any normal, broke-ass individual would have done. I put my return in an envelope, affixed the sticker that said "check enclosed" to the outside and mailed it off. Did I mention that I never did write out the check?

I was kind of hoping the state would open the envelope, think they misplaced my check and then just say, "oh well, I guess we should just credit him the amount." Now since I mailed this return off in early April, I assumed that my plan had worked. It's July 8th already and I ain't heard shit from old Pennsylvania. In fact, I was just talking to a co-worker the other day about how smart I was to pull this stunt and how it appeared to work.

Well, you can tell where this is going...

I came home today and there was a nice fat envelope from the State of Pennsylvania. It seems they want my tax money from last year. And oh, there's a penalty, so that $750 is now $836. And oh, if you want to pay by credit card, there is a 2.5% processing fee to contend with.

So I'm doing what any self respecting 32 year old, employed tax dodger would do in my shoes.

Dear Dad,

I hope this email finds you doing well. I need a favor....