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Here are some reviews of shit I got on Netflix while I was out of commission.

Mean Creek

In the spirit of River’s Edge or Bully comes this haunting look at what happens when a group of kids get together and decide to teach the school bully a lesson. What makes this movie slightly different from Bully is that the bully in Mean Creek doesn’t come across as an aggressive asshole (perhaps more or less a kid that is in need of some serious love and attention and maybe some therapy/medication) and the kids are of a younger set. Rory Culkin stars as the lead and continues to show that despite all we hear about the personal lives of the Culkin dynasty, they are a talented bunch of kids. I was impressed by the moodiness and the realism of the situation, it begs the question of what’s right and wrong.


Battle Royale

Based on a recommendation from Mikey Drumsticks, the king of gory movies, I rented this Japanese import that is set sometime after the new millennium (I’m assuming present day?) and focuses on a law that was put into effect by the adults to deal with unruly kids in their early high school years. Unemployment in Japan is at an all time high, 10 million people are without jobs, suicides increase, children are orphaned, some kids without parental guidance stop going to school and eventually become a menace to society. BR #5 is a law that states that every year (?) a particular class of freshman students are randomly selected in a lottery drawing, taken to a remote island and are forced to kill each other until there remains only one student who is then given their freedom back. No joke. The movie plays like a gory twist on Lord of the Flies, some kids decide to kill themselves, some band together and try to survive as best they can and others try frantically to plot against the military presence that monitors the action on the island. The 13 year olds are given 3 days to exterminate each other at which time if there is not a clear winner, the necklace/sensor/microphone/monitoring device will become a bomb and all remaining contestants will be destroyed. This tidbit of information gives some kids the needed push to become killing machines. I can’t say I was disturbed by this movie, I’ve seen way worse Asian cinema with lower production quality and tasteless scenes, but this may not be for everyone. I enjoyed the psychological aspect over the blood and violence, but I still would classify this as a decent rental. 0


Love Me If You Dare

This French film is a couple years old, but I came across a preview for it attached to one of my recent rentals and was mildly intrigued. It appeared to be a non-traditional love story set in a whimsical, fantasy like reality with lush colors and vibrant details, much like Amelie. Well, it was definitely visually stimulating, but I’m not sure what the hell it was about. Seriously, I fancy myself a pretty smart fellow, but the ending of this movie left me completely in the dark. Maybe it’s the language/cultural barrier? Was it just too French for me to get it? The plot that I could make out concerns a young boy and young girl who befriend each other at 7 or 8 and bond by playing a game of dare. This game, much like their love for each other, continues to intensify and develop over a period of the next 20 years. Along the way, they both tempt each other to do some horribly wicked things to each other and to those around them. Some of the dares are funny, some are just evil and some are just too confusing to understand. This wackiness ends with both lovers being set in concrete in each other’s embrace for eternity? Or is this the end? Who the hell knows? I like French movies on the whole, they sometimes push boundaries that American cinema cannot…and that is kind of cool. I find French women attractive, and the lead in this film is no exception. I also think the sound of the French language is very soothing to the ears. But did I like this movie? I’m not certain that I did. I know I didn’t hate it, but the confusion the end left me with is enough to detract from the overall impression it left me with. Let’s say that if you like French cinema, you might like this and call it a day.

P.S.

Most guys under 40, if you asked them who they thought was a gorgeous actress would probably rattle of a very familiar name like Angelina Jolie or Nicole Kidman. These women are very attractive, but for my money I’m looking for a little more substance. I’m going through a Kate Winslet phase right now and I always find myself drawn to Cate Blanchett, both extremely talented actresses who are among other things mothers, married and British. (Not exactly attainable for a slightly overweight 33 year old hermit who lives in Philthadelphia, USA) But for the last few years I’ve always had a soft spot for Laura Linney. Ms. Linney has managed to quite quietly piece together an impressive resume, and is in my opinion that most rare of flowers, a strong female character actor. Many times the term character actor is universally applied to men. Actors such as Philip Seymour Hoffman, John C. Reilly and until recently Paul Giamatti fall into this category of actor. When a woman is a strong actress, more or less she is just the lead, or female lead if you want to get technical. To me the definition of a good character actor, man or woman, is the ability to play a variety of roles and seem completely convincing and natural as that character. Laura Linney can play a mother, a sister, a daughter, a wife, a lover, a divorcee, someone from the 40’s, someone from the future. She is a chameleon, and if you don’t believe me try this little test. Try to think of 5 movies you have seen her in. Now I know some of you are probably saying at this moment “Who the hell is Laura Linney?,” and if that’s the case, you can still kind of play along. For those who try to name 5 movies, I bet you will have trouble. Once you rack your brain, slide on over to IMDB and plug her name in the search bar and check out her filmography. Not only has she been in a bunch of movies that you probably have seen, and a bunch that were highly regarded by movie critics and fans alike, but she is fucking really good in almost everything she is in. Now I’m getting way off topic here and need to get back to my main point and that is I totally want to bang Laura Linney. Always have. I find her to be stunning, and not just on a purely visual level. She seems really smart, and funny in addition to being attractive. Now I know this might sound stalkerish, and perhaps way out of character for me since she is older than me, but I’ll be damned…she’s my movie star crush. You can have your Julia Roberts and Jennifer Lopez crushes, I’ll stick with Laura. That being said…

P.S. is a quaint little movie starring Laura Linney (surprise!) as an Admissions Director at an Art school who becomes fascinated with an MFA candidate who looks like, talks like, seems like her dead high school boyfriend. The movie isn’t as creepy as it sounds, since the story is really more about Linney’s character’s lack of development from her high school years than it is about reincarnation or something just as silly. Thank goodness! This movie had all the potential in the world of derailing in the last 20 minutes and getting all cheesy and Hollywood…instead it settles down nicely into a very upbeat and non-traditional ending. Topher Grace is good as the young art student seduced by Linney, proving yet again that he is more than just Eric Forman from the 70’s Show. Even Paul Rudd and Gabriel Byrne are strong in very small supporting roles. But the movie is all Linney’s, and she owns it. And she manages to look sexy as hell while doing it. Maybe I’m just so enamored by her that I thought this movie was better than it was, but I liked it.

My Architect, A Son’s Journey

A fascinating look at both a master architect and his bastard son’s yearning to know his deceased father, My Architect is one of the better documentaries to come out in the last 5 years. Louis I. Kahn was a Philadelphia based architect famous for his work on the Capitol of Bangladesh building that took 23 years to make. Kahn, who despite his impact on the world of architecture was broke, died mysteriously in a Penn Station bathroom at the age of 73. Nathaniel Kahn was 11 when his father died and having been the product of an affair, never had a real relationship with the man. And apparently Nathaniel wasn’t alone as Louis had not one, but two children outside of his marriage with two separate mistresses. Nathaniel travels to all of his father’s completed buildings in an effort to connect with a father who he really didn’t know and has been deceased for 25 years. This personal story is well executed and beautifully filmed, an excellent exploration of a true artist and complicated man.