Suicide

Been thinking about this topic a lot lately. Whoa...easy...not like I'm considering it or anything. Hunter S. Thompson offed himself last week, a very Hunter way of doing things I must say, and I am trying to figure out how I feel about that. I think controling your destiny and chosing your fate is commendable, but at the same time I wonder if it wasn't selfish of him to do it. Maybe he still had some thoughts yet to spread to us through his writing? The man was always kind of an ornery, prick like kind of guy, so it wasn't any surprise to hear about how he went about ending his life. I wasn't shocked or anything. In fact I was really shocked that it took me a couple of days to hear about it more than anything. Mostly my fault, not watching the news, reading the paper or having the internet at my disposal. I guess I'm also thinking about my fish Madonna who was found dead in the tank a couple days ago. Living alone for me has been an adjustment, and I'm sure Madonna and Johnny Cash have been having a hard time going from 50 gallons to 5 gallons, not to mention that they probably miss their buddies the Kois. I'd prefer to think that Madonna took her own life than to think that my "parenting" was not up to snuff. Yeah the tank was cloudy and could have used a cleaning, but I doubt it contributed to her death. Why would Johnny not have died as well? He's still in there. At least I think he is. I really should clean that tank. You would think with all this recent death in my life I would have realized that yesterday, March 7th, was the anniversary of my Mom's passing. I honestly didn't remember until about 10 PM that it was. Is it because I'm busy? Overworked? Distracted? Depressed? Or is it because I've accepted it? Death is a part of life. I try not to dwell on it to begin with, so I'm not surprised I didn't realize it was the "anniversary." I never was one for visiting the grave and all that. I'd prefer to take 5 minutes, think of something nice involving me and my Mom and then get back to whatever I was doing.