Why I Could Never Be An Alcoholic

I planned on going balls to the wall last night and got exactly what I wished for.

I never learn.

I drank about 15 Miller Lite's, a Heinie and a Stella Artois last night and spent the better part of this morning throwing it all back up. Along with half digested linguini. My head pretty much puslated for 5 straight hours on top of this vomit session. I've been popping Tylenol like it's my job and the relief is slowly coming after 3 PM today.

This my friends is why I don't drink anymore. When I do, I have no self control and I over consume. Then I spend the next day or two wanting to die. Like I am right now. If you are in the neighborhood, stop by and strangle me. I'll be the bag of shit that is laying in bed on this fine Sunday afternoon.