Summer Movie Preview

Call me a loser, but I've been checking out what's coming out this summer and thought I would share my thoughts. There's no end to the shitty remakes of TV shows and old movies, and it appears as though the Ring derivatives are in no short supply as well. But I was able to scare up 11 movies that look like they will be enjoyable on some scale, either some laughs or some bedazzling special effects. So, take it for what it's worth.

A couple of childhood loves of mine are the Bad News Bears and Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. I'm eager to see the remake of both this summer, but I'm skeptical on both as well. Billy Bob Thorton is taking over as the hapless, drunk Little League coach that Walter Mathau made famous in the 70's and I'm kind of a Billy Bob fan. I figure how bad could you fuck up a movie about kids who can't play baseball very well? And with Charlie and the Chocolate Factory I worry about Tim Burton getting his groove back. Planet of the Apes was a disaster. I'm certain having Johnny Depp in the fold will help, but I have to be cautious. Both of these movies have a special place in my heart and both gave us iconic, signature roles for Gene Wilder and Walter Mathau, so I have my finger's crossed that these remakes will not ruin them for me.

Speilberg has been shakey lately, but I'm willing to hold out hope on The War of the Worlds remake. Tom Cruise always delivers and Dakota Fanning is the new Shirley Temple.

For kicks I'm hoping that the Wedding Crashers with Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn will be more Old School and Bottle Rocket than Be Cool and Shangi Knights. I really cracked up at this preview, but with all summer comedies you have to worry that they put all the laughs in the trailer and you get to sit there like an asshole who forked over $10 to see them again in the theater.

I don't really enjoy many comic book movies, Hellboy is the only one off the top of my head that I do like, but I'm not going to lie the new Batman Begins looks the BOMB and Sin City looks hot too. Maybe it's the casting, as both are loaded with faces or maybe it's the direction...whatever it is makes me excited inside.

I'm so fucking PUMPED to see Rob Zombie's follow up to House of 1,000 Corpses, The Devil's Rejects! I fucking loved 1,000 Corpses and I have full faith that Rob will outdo himself again and put up a completely gory, homage to the 70's horror/revenge flick.



Other flicks that I've put on the to do list are the French thriller High Tension, the documentary about Paul Green's Rock School the inspiration for School of Rock and a hometown guy for me, The Brothers Grimm by Terry Gilliam and John Tutturo's Romance and Cigarettes which is a musical featuring a lot of people you wouldn't think could sing.

I"ll close with two extra tidbits about summer movies.

1. I'm not sure which movie looks worse The Longest Yard remake or the Lords of Dogtown about the "creators" of skateboarding. Longest Yard is probably just more unnecessary, but Lords looks like Wonderland from a few years ago. All kinds of wigs and fake facial hair, just really sad looking. I'm avoiding both.

2. The weekend of June 24th is flashback weekend this summer. Bewitched, Dukes of Hazzard and the new Herbie movie all come out. It's Will Ferrell vs. Johnny Knoxville vs. Stiffler vs. Lindsay Lohan vs. Michael Keaton vs. Jessica Simpson vs. Nicole Kidman vs. the 60's vs. the 70's vs. the 80's. Yee-Haw!!!